An Email to Nowhere

So I've been doing some writing about surfing over the past couple weeks, mostly about the years I surfed up in San Francisco. It's something I've been meaning to write about for years, and it's been fun to do.

Yesterday, I came across some old notes I had for the project, and found some emails from Luke, my brother who died, about how my first surfboard had gotten stolen out of the back of his truck.

I knew I had those emails, so that didn't come as a surprise. But I was really affected by seeing his email address: fedwithpunk@gmailcom. I'd forgotten about that address. It's so him.

And I've been thinking ever since about how much I want to send an email there. What happens to old email addresses when people die? Does someone else get it, like a phone nuber? Or does it just die along with the person?

I know if I sent an email I'd either get a nondeliverable message or no response. But a part of me just kind of holds out hope that somehow he'd get the message and send me something back. Crazy, I know.

I want an email from him so bad. Sucks that it's never going to happen.

And now I'm all teary. Stupid pregnancy hormones...I've been crying at everything lately...

XOXO

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Grace in Small Things, September 15, 2011

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