A Sleep Training Success Story

THEN

How sleeping used to go for us and the babies:

• Up between 4 AM and 5 AM (me + kids)
• Naps during the day required someone (usually my husband) to be snuggled up with them on the bed or they'd scream and refuse to sleep. No rhyme or reason to naps
• Bedtime 7ish, but Luke had to fall asleep in someone's arms (usually mine) or he would scream
• Dream feed 10ish
• Up a bunch during the night (especially Luke)...we'd go to them/cuddle them/feed them every time they made a peep. My husband mostly did the night shift, but if both babies woke up at the same time I'd get up too. I was usually up once during the night.

So for me bed at 11 PM, up in the middle of the night, up for the day between 4 AM and 5 AM and no chance to nap because any spare (baby free) minute I had I was working.

The result: some serious exhaustion on my part, and my husband and I covering the babies in shifts with me generally having days (or parts of the day at least) and him nights...doable but not ideal.

And then, when we were at our RE's office a few weeks ago, he asked about the twins and we said they are great except they don't sleep. And then jokingly said hey, you helped us get babies, can you help us get them to sleep? And he said with his kids he followed the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to the letter, and it worked like a charm.

We bought a copy on the way home (actually, we got Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins.)

Followed it to the letter. 

NOW

And now:

• Babies are up at 6 AM, which is totally doable (actually, they seem to wake between 5 and 6, but are often happy in their crib until 6)
• Nap at 9 AM by themselves in the crib
• Nap at 1 PM by themselves in the crib
• Bedtime at 6 PM

And all this happens with essentially no crying--unimaginable a few weeks ago.

Having the twins sleeping like this has truly changed our lives.

So what price did we pay?

Nothing from Zo, who was already sleeping pretty decently.

A few nights crying from Luke, and I'm not going to lie, that was EXCRUCIATING. Actually, the book says that especially in couples who have had a hard time getting pregnant the dads do much better with sleep training. Before we started, Jeff made me PROMISE to do what he said and not to interfere. If I hadn't made that promise I wouldn't have been able to stand the first night or two (and the crying didn't even go on for that long those first nights...maybe 45 minutes when we first put Luke down, another 45 minutes at 3 AM. Still, when you're used to picking up your baby at the first whimper...) 

Nothing in the kids' behavior makes it seem like they've been traumatized in the slightest by going through this. And I had read that if you do sleep training you become desensitized to your kids' crying (the implication being that you turn into a harsher, less loving parent), but I don't feel like that's happened at all.

I was scared to do sleep training because I didn't realize how truly minimal the crying would be/how fast it would go away. If every night was like the first night no way in the world would I put me and the kids through that night after night after night. But they adapted so quickly and they don't cry any longer. And I know overall we are better parents when we are rested/not constantly exhausted. And we had just reached a breaking point where everything was so chaotic and we were getting so worn down and exhausted....actually the last straw was the night Luke was up pretty much all night...he woke in the morning with bags under his eyes, rubbing his eyes first thing in the morning...it kind of became clear then that what we were doing wasn't working for our kids either. Us, I figured it's OK for us to suffer through if we need to. Them, I don't want anything bad for them...and them exhausted in the morning because they haven't been able to sleep...that doesn't feel like we're doing the right thing...

Anyway, that's our sleep training story. Everyone is so different in their beliefs/approach to this, but after eight months of following the attachment parenting philosophy we switched, and it was the right thing for us, no question.

XOXO