Seattle is changing
I have a long history with Seattle...
My grandparents lived in and around the city almost their whole lives. My Dad grew up there. I visited every year as a child and lived there twice, once right out of college, again about 10 years ago.
...And a great love of the city
It's cool drizzle, gray architecture, green everywhere, fresh damp smell, fish and chips and Rainer cherries and crab with butter, the smell of strong coffee and also urine in the streets, the tattooed baristas and musicians, the noise of the traffic and the lapping of the water...all that's still there but Seattle is also changing...there is this incredible boom going on, building everywhere and huge buildings too, and it's feeling so corporate, so shiny and homogenous, all the new.
Progress...
The small scrappy city I've loved my whole life is disappearing...like the old craftsman-style house my grandparents lived in on Dexter Ave N torn down, an ultra-modern wood and steel duplex now in its place...that's what feels is like happening to the whole city...and it's not a bad thing necessarily, but it's strange to have your memories of a place becoming just that...what was part of me is—not really ceasing to exist—but changing into something different.
Seattle is changing...
XOXO
Teach your kids about manners with these books
My kids take the written word as gospel...and I've been working with them on manners this summer...which explains why this particular stack of books has made its way into our house:
How to behave and why, by Munro Leaf
This is an old fashioned book I first saw at Anthropologie...it's back in print after being found by the right passionate person in a used book store. It talks about how to live right and my kids were absorbed by it first reading, but haven't been as interested since (they say it's too long). Still, I really like it, and it's enabled me to talk about some thing to the kids (eg it's fair for us to ask you to pick up your toys, as everyone needs to help out around the house) that I will continue to bring up.
Rude cakes, by Rowboat Watkins
This is the flip side of "How to behave..."—super short, super modern, super funny. Recently published, downright hilarious, this has been a staple in our house for months. It features a rude pink cake and a bunch of VERY well-mannered giant cyclopses. I love books like this that are so quirky and funny and get a good message across without being preachy.
Do unto otters, by Laurie Keller
Some otters move in next to a rabbit and the rabbit thinks about how he'd like the otters to treat him, realizing that that's how he should treat the otters too. Cute and engaging. Teaches words like please and thank you in 5 languages.
Dude, that's rude, by Pamela Espeland and Elizabeth Verdick
This is written a little above the kids' age level but Luke especially loves the title and I've been reading them little snippets out of here at their request...
The Bernstain Bears forget their manners, by Stan and Jan Berenstain
These bears are always good for a lesson...this is a current favorite and I like it because Mama Bear makes a list of manners and the kids decide they will go overboard on using manners...which the kids don't realize 's something every mother would love...
Please say please, by Margery Cuyler and Will Hillenbrand
This is a book about dinner table manners taught in the setting of an animal dinner party, and I love it because it presents the wrong scenario and then asks, "Is that right?" For example: "If a lion is served cauliflower, he should say, 'Ew! Yuck!' Is that right?" And the kids laugh and giggle and say no. And the next page: "A lion should say, 'I'll try some. Mmmm...not bad...'" The kids love laughing about the bad examples. Another book that has been in rotation a lot lately.
Any other good books about manners I should know about? Please share! :)
Grace in small things, July 14, 2016
- Chocolate malt milkshakes at Johnny B. Good's with dinner and then the "Monkey Playground" (Little Toots by the library) with Jeff and the kids...
- Another good day of swim lessons...love watching...
- Errands with Luke this afternoon, with lots of hugs and snuggles
- Zo using her pink flower wand to turn people into bunnies and bears (and then back into mommies and daddies)
- Luke: "Mommy, why doesn't Newtie (the dog) have a FitBit?"
XOXO
Grace in small things, July 13, 2016
- A day at home with my sweet kids...and this evening a long stretch just playing with them upstairs...evenings seem to be a good time for that...they had me pretend I was a sheep and put me in "jail," I just relaxed in Zoey's room and said "Baaa!" occasionally, watching them while they ran around like madmen...the energy those kids have is unbelievable...
- Junction house sale is coming together...
- Jeff sent me for takeout tonight, Fiesta Jalisco, our local Mexican place...shrimp so spicy I could barely eat it...I hadn't had it in forever and I'd been craving it...delicious...
- Kids are super psyched about their first swim lesson that happened yesterday at Old Town Hot Springs...very enthusiastic about going back tomorrow...
- Early, early, early to bed tonight for me...I'm determined to get caught up on sleep...
XOXO
How do you make working from home with kids work?
I've been writing about this in my head for weeks, alternating between the encouraging:
It's totally doable if you're organized and have some help!
...and the despairing:
Why would anyone do this? There are not enough hours in the day. I'm totally exhausted all the time.
The truth is probably somewhere in between. It IS doable. It IS exhausting.
That said, here's how I'm currently making things work with a part-time freelance business (20 hours/week doing advertising copywriting) and two four-year-olds who are not yet in school:
Spend lots of time with your kids
My kids are my #1 priority and that is reflected in how I have things set up. Mornings are generally work-free. And dinner/bath/bed time. And weekends as much as humanly possible. And 3 mornings a week, I try to set aside housework, errands, etc. and do something totally kid-focused and fun. One of the keys to being able to do all this is not being on call at work 24/7, especially not having work email or messaging on my phone...and also letting my clients know that if I agree to a deadline I'm going to make it happen, but there are chunks of the day when I am just not available. In my experience people seem to be OK with this as long as they know ahead of time...
Have help for at least some of your work hours
My mother-in-law lives with us and helps out 2 PM-5 PM Monday through Friday with the kids, so at least I know I have that chunk of time to get things done. If I didn't have her I'd probably get a mother's helper for those hours...it could be someone young who I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving alone with the kids, but I'm in the house to help with whatever arises, so...
Squeeze in the rest of your work where you can
I usually need to work more that the 15 hours of childcare I have. I get those other hours generally early before the kids wake up or late after they go to bed. Sometimes weekends although I try to avoid that as much as possible.
Do housework in little bits, and/or get help
Cleaning, cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. I try to get done a little bit every day, usually in the morning when I'm watching the kids. I'll do a bathroom or vacuum part of the house or change the beds, something so I generally stay on top of things. My mother-in-law helps too...if I didn't have her I'd either hire out housecleaning or lean more heavily on my husband. My husband is a huge help with the meals and shopping and dishes as well...
Take care of the little stuff while you're hanging out with kids
Scheduling appointments, writing thanks you notes, paying bills, getting the car washed etc. happens while I'm watching the kids
Make time for your husband
I always spend some time with my husband before he goes to work, and we often exercise together as well (right now in the evenings we'll go for a walk/hike from our house, with the kids having their TV time then and Grandma there for them in case of an emergency). My husband and I also sit on our porch and talk every night before bed, and have date night on Saturdays (Again thanks to my mother-in-law...we're really lucky to have her, I know. But if we didn't we'd hire a babysitter.) My husband and I being happy together is essential to making all this work; time for him and us is a crucial part of the equation.
In theory, it's good to make time for yourself
I'm not very good at this, but I'm trying. I do make time to work out on a regular basis. And I'm trying to set aside time to do some creative things. But I'm not sure I can make time for everything else--and really be there for my kids the way I want to be--and still have time for me. I haven't given up hope though! And as the kids move into preschool and kindergarten and elementary school I know this is going to become easier...
In theory, it's good to make time to sleep
Again I'm not very good at this...I got a Fitbit recently and was more surprised than I should have been that I'm only sleeping 5-6 hours a night...no wonder I'm always exhausted...I didn't realize how little sleep I was getting on a consistent basis. Part of this is needing to be awake to get things done, part of it I think is having so little relaxation/quiet time that it's hard for me to sleep. I'm functioning pretty well, but I'd sure love to figure out a way to sleep more...
What there's pretty much no time for
TV. News. Social media. Randomly surfing the internet. Etc.
How all this comes together
Here's a typical day:
Up 5 AM or 6 AM (I usually wake up that early, even if I'm trying to sleep in.) Work first thing for an hour or so.
Breakfast for everyone, walk dog, a little time with my husband.
Morning/early afternoon is either very kid-focused or very housework, meal, errand-y-focused, but either way there's always a little of both mixed in.
Work 2-5-ish.
Dinner, exercise, kid TV time, baths, stories, bed for kids (8:30 is our target).
Work and/or do something creative (I have some photography and writing-related projects going, including this blog).
Porch time with my husband (10-ish).
Try to fall asleep 11-ish, but it often takes a while.
Bottom line
It's not like I have all the answers, but things go pretty smoothly with this setup most days. And I feel like I'm giving everything I can—and it's a lot—to my kids and my marriage, which are so important to me. And I'm running a successful business. And squeezing in other things (eg creative stuff) in small bits. It works.
This is all a work in progress, too...the kids start preschool 2 days a week in the fall, and with that everything will shift again...
Other moms—how do you do it? Is there some trick to all this that I don't know about that will make everything easier? Would love to hear your experience...
XOXO
In the garden with Grammy and Papa...
We had such a delightful few days with my parents over a long weekend...this morning was our last day and we spent some time in "the back 80" which includes my Dad's apricot trees that are going wild right now and my mom's garden which she has struggled with this season for a variety of reasons but it is still lovely lovely lovely. And I know there's a perfectly logical technical reason for all the orange and white circle flares in my pictures today but I don't care...it makes me happy to think it was the ones I love who are no longer here spending time with us on this beautiful summer morning...
A few other lovely things that happened today:
- Kids going to the fair to see animals with Grammy and Papa...they had such a good time...while Jeff and I went to the house...and they are filling in the hole in the basement today which is such a good sign...
- Kids easy back on the trip home...
- ...and when I gave them some iPad time tonight they went upstairs and when I went to check on them I found them playing games side-by-side in Zo's bed all cuddled up together...too cute...
- Loved visiting my parents, but love that it feels so good to come home to our house as well...
- Looking forward to getting some R&R this week with my husband home on Staycation... :)
Happy Monday!
XOXO
Grace in small things, July 10, 2016
- Zoey's love of Papa's apricots...and there are tons right now...
- Visiting with my mom and dad...always so wonderful...
- Kids in swimsuits all day, so they could run through the sprinklers anytime they want...
- My husband and I getting work done on the old house...
- Researching a requested birthday wish list to send to my husband...I'm little-girl excited about birthday gifs this year...
XO
Grace in small things, July 8, 2016
- Long, leisurely day at home with the kids...
- My huge work TO DO list is put to bed for now...everything that needed to get done got done...and next week is looking pretty sane, knock on wood...
- Things with the house we are selling are moving right along...
- Little outing with the kids this evening to the playground and Yampa River Botanic Gardens...beautiful there...so fun...we don't usually get out in the evening, it was fun to mix it up...
- All packed for a long weekend in Junction with my family...
Happy weekend!
XOXO
Grace in small things, July 7, 2016
- The drive-thru car wash with Luke and Zo...it's always such an adventure with the rainstorm and the blue monster and the red monster and the porcupine and the baby porcupines and the rainbow soap and the wind machine...love how everything in the world around them is such a delight...
- My husband and I both having really tough days but being able to laugh about it together and still have a nice evening vs taking it out on each other...
- The most heavenly gelato at Ciao Gelato...I only had a few bites from Luke's and my husband's bowls, but so glad I had those bites...
- We have metal light-up stars out on our porch and I've been wanting to stagger the heights, and tonight my husband got out the ladder and did it for me...
- Luke making me a Lego flower when he saw that I was stressed out...
- A girlfriend to listen to me complain about house-selling trials and tribulations...
- The kids giggling hysterically tonight when I read them Please Say Please before bed...
- My husband taking care of the kids when they wouldn't go down tonight so I could finish work deadlines late this evening...
I feel like I'm doing a lot of snuck-in complaining here tonight and that is never my intention in this space...but it has been a day...but a lot to look forward to tomorrow with things with the house we're selling (fingers crossed) finally getting taken care of and the weekend starts and we're going to see my family—yay!!—and really, all is well, the things that are stressing me out are so minor in the whole scheme of things...we are so lucky that these are our problems and not something truly serious...
Love and light...
XOXO