Jealousy, and I Don't Think California's for Me

And yet, we had a nice lunch in a beautiful, artsy corner of Berkeley...

I’m having a strange reaction to being in California, swirlings of longing and jealousy, not sleeping well at all. I lay awake thinking: why can’t I live by the beach? Why can’t I be a surfer and go camping and take time off work and do all these great things that my friends get to do? Jealousy is one of the worst things about me. I’m flying home tonight, can’t wait. I feel extremely unsettled being here. It’s literally painful to see the ocean, I miss it so much. I think we need to live near a beach, and somewhere that’s not California. I’m hoping there’s somewhere I can be happy. I don’t think this is it.