Enjoying Your Pregnancy

Hi Everyone!

So this has been a topic under discussion all over the place lately...see Elphaba and Mo, and I think it all started with the fabulous jjiraffe.

Anyway, it's something I've been thinking about a lot about, and wanted to contribute my two cents.

I'm about halfway through my pregnancy (19 weeks), and I have had a heck of a time enjoying it. Which has really surprised me...I really wanted to experience pregnancy, and had these visions of it being such a happy, special time. But the reality has been somewhat different, and several things are making it hard to enjoy, key being:

1) The fact that I've been so sick

2) Gaining weight/restrictions on activities have been really hard for me

3) The fear that something is going to go wrong, and related to that, having trouble picturing that two actual real-live babies are going to come out of this experience. I'm so used to things not going right for me in the reproductive arena, it's hard to imagine a different outcome

To combat the above, here's what I've been trying to do: 

• Documenting my pregnancy--This is something jjiraffe talks about doing and I've been doing with weekly updates/pictures on my blog. You can also do this more privately with pregnancy journals and the like. And also, in a way this seems self-indulgent, but I think I'm going to have a professional do some pregnancy photos of me as I get a little further along...my hairdresser just showed me her engagement photos last week and the woman who did them does such beautiful things with natural light...and is really reasonable cost-wise...
• Trying to make myself as comfortable as possible--I started this pregnancy swearing I would never let so much as a Tylenol cross my lips. And I know this is a very personal decision, but at about 12 weeks I relented and have been taking Tylenol occasionally as needed for headaches and joint and back pain, and Zofran for the nausea that still just won't go away. My doctor says these drugs are perfectly safe and the effect they've had on my mood has been incredible. I was feeling really, really depressed, just laying on the couch sick day after day after day...not feeling so terrible has really helped me embrace being pregnant
• Trying to look as good as possible--Vain I know, but like most women, I want to look good...slender and stylish. The slender part is of course out the window with pregnancy...all I can do as far as that is concerned is make plans regarding how I am going to lose all this weight (I'm actually kind of sick of eating and looking forward to dieting when the time comes), and when I get back to my normal weight there's a little shopping spree waiting for me, so there's that to look forward to. As far as looking stylish during pregnancy...not easy without spending a ton of money, which I am not willing to do. But I am trying to incorporate as much of my day-to-day wardrobe into the mix as possible (eg, button-front sweaters I can just wear open, accessories, the shoes that still fit). And also, everyone's body is different, but I need clothes that show off my bump...I need to look pregnant otherwise I just look vastly overweight. Clothes that hide the belly...not good on me. Bottom line, for me it's been worth it to put a little effort into how I look and what works with my pregnant body...how I look always affects how I feel, and pregnancy is no different
• Appreciating the extra time I have vs being sad about what I can't do--Every winter I get a season pass at my local resort and snowboard like crazy. Year-round I hike. I go to hot yoga. None of those things are options right now. Sometimes I'm really bummed about it, but overall I try to look at it as: look at all this free time I have these days--time that would usually be taken up by all that stuff. I'm working on a little book about San Francisco right now, and have been so productive these past few months, mostly because time usually spent elsewhere can be devoted to writing. I try to look at it as what I've gained vs what I've lost
• Trying to let go of the fear--I think a lot of people who have had difficulty getting pregnant can relate to the incessant fear that has made it really, really hard for me to enjoy my pregnancy. It was worse in the first trimester, but it's still there. Like in how every time I go to the bathroom I look for blood on the TP. How every little twinge and cramp scares me. How I'm afraid of my 20 week ultrasound next week because they might see something wrong with the babies. I'm not sure I'm doing the best job here, but I've been trying to just not think about these things...put these thoughts out of my mind as much as possible. Keep telling myself that the chances of something going wrong are small, and really, something can happen to your child at any time, not just during pregnancy. Do I want to spend the rest of my life entertaining worst case scenarios? No. So I'm trying really hard not to go there...
• Letting people know about my pregnancy--The more my family and friends talk about me being pregnant...congratulate me, talk of a baby shower, comment on how big I'm getting...the better I feel about the whole experience. The first trimester I kept what was going on hidden from a lot of people (although I'm not sure that's the best approach...why do we do that other than we are told it's what you are supposed to do?)...but now that the news is getting out...it's making my pregnancy a lot more enjoyable to have others know about it and be enthusiastic about it. Like last week my husband and I went to see a friend of ours we hadn't seen in a few months and who didn't know I was pregnant...she saw my belly and started squealing and jumping up and down...how can you not enjoy pregnancy when something like that is going on?
• Making it a physical part of my world--I haven't really started this yet, but am about to and am excited. The cribs, the car seats, the blankets, the cute little clothes...shopping for baby stuff is something I've wanted to do for a long, long time, and I think is going to be so enjoyable, not from a materialistic standpoint, but more the thought of getting everything just right, putting a lot of love into preparing a space for our new babies in the world...I can't wait

Do you all have any thoughts on how best to enjoy pregnancy? Would love to hear...

And that's it for me as far as blogging this week...going to Mississippi with my husband tomorrow for a long weekend and am looking forward to a computer-free break (the best kind!) :)

See y'all Monday! ( see...I can do the Southern thing...:) )

XO