Pregnancy Weeks 18/19
Hi Everyone!
I'm 20 weeks pregnant as of yesterday...halfway...yippee!
How I'm feeling: Much better, but still nauseous often and very tired by the end of the day most days. Sleeping OK some nights and not others. I had what I assume was the flu a week or so ago...I though it was just the pregnancy, but then why was I throwing up all the time again and headache and just generally awful and then everyone in my house except my husband had it too and my parents who I am visiting both came down with it. So that was no fun.
Also some days really feeling my belly stretch, which doesn't hurt exactly, but doesn't feel great either.
Also am getting totally overwhelmed/emotional about once a week...like lying on the floor sobbing for no good reason (other than the kids are teething and a handful right now but that's true every day and usually I'm fine) emotional which is what happened today...two little kids and pregnancy is just so HARD. I was reading the other day about how women are expected to be superwomen these days, and part of that is acting like everything we're doing is a piece of cake, and I really try to do that as much as I can (two 17-month-olds and a really tough pregnancy as far as not feeling well through it and a stressful job and everything else...yeah, no big deal, is how I usually try to be.) But really, the truth is it IS a big deal, it's hard, and I love my life and all I've been blessed with but right now with so many constant demands...it's hard.
What I'm looking forward to: Our scan next week (postponed because I'm out of town)...really excited to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. This whole pregnancy is still feeling so abstract...hoping that knowing will make it more real...
What I'm worried about: Nothing really, other than the general, ever-present how-are-we-going-to-do-this-with-all-these-little-kids? worry.
What I'm reading/watching/listening to: Breaking Bad, again, man, that show is SO GOOD. Still working my way through Love in the Time of Cholera. Also started reading Making Babies: Stumbling Into Motherhood by Anne Enright...so good but really dense with meaning and insights...I feel like I need to read it just a little bit at a time. And I finally got to sit and read Vogue and Glamour...not by the pool like I've been dreaming about all summer (why can I not make that happen?) but so fun to curl up with those magazines, which are my guilty pleasure. I got an iPAD for my birthday (thanks Mom and Dad!) and it's so fun to read magazines and books on that thing. Oh, and is it wrong that I'm a grown-up and I love Katy Perry? I love her new song "Roar," can't get it out of my head...
What I'm doing for me: My mom watched the kids the other day and I got a pedicure and a massage and a chiropractic adjustment...I felt like a new woman...amazing what a few hours like that does for me. I've also been letting a lot of stuff go (like posting here) during a really busy stretch of work and while I'm on vacation...feels good to expect a little less of myself...
So overall all is well...
Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!
XOXO
Pregnancy Weeks 13/14/15
Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday!
I'm 16 weeks pregnant today. Saw my OB last week too, and all is well.
How I'm feeling: Better for sure, better all the time, but still not great. The nausea is mostly in the evenings/nights now. So grateful not to have it 24/7 but having it at all still sucks. Been taking Zofran at night (before bed) and that seems to be helping some. Have been having some headaches (once a week or so). Have been so very tired, all the time, but that seems to be letting up a little too.
What I'm excited about: I swear I've been feeling this baby move for the past week, even though you're not supposed to be able to feel it until 16 weeks. It's so cool.
What I'm worried about: I've had some anxiety recently about people I love dying. (This is an ongoing issue for me that pops up every once in a while. Well, truthfully, it's there all the time, it's just sometimes it gets a little out of control.)
What my health plan has to say about my pregnancy: Let me preface this by saying before I got pregnant I asked my previous doctor if it was OK for me to do so. I was prepared not to if she said there were substantial risks. But she said go ahead, no problem. My new health plan does a pregnancy program, and after their interview sent me this list of my "Identified Risks:"
- Advanced maternal age
- History of gestational diabetes
- History of gestational hypertension
- History of preterm delivery
- History of recurrent pregnancy loss
- Infertility treatment current pregnancy - ART or IVF
Now, all this doesn't mean I shouldn't have gotten pregnant. But this list is weighing on my mind a little, like did I do something I shouldn't have? But it is what it is at this point, right? And all is well so far...
What I've been reading/watching/listening to: A book called "Love is a Mix Tape," which is un-put-downable. "Newsroom" (the whole first season), which is SUCH a good show. Oh and my husband and I went and saw "This Is the End" on our date night a week or so ago, which was fun.
What I've been doing for me: Naps. (Not very glamorous, but I feel so lucky when I get to lie down.) A massage. Hair appointment. I went to the knitting store here for the first time, to get supplies to make a baby gift for a friend of mine. (So I guess I'm going to be knitting, which I haven't done since the kids were born. It's a super easy project, should be fun.) And I ordered some stationary, which I've been meaning to do for like a year...
So that's the latest.
I'm just going to go on record here and say I HATE the first trimester of pregnancy. I knew it was going to be hard, but the sickness and the depression related to that...really awful. Months of awful. So grateful I never have to go through that again. I think the second trimester is going to be a bit more manageable, though, or at least it's shaping up that way so far, knock on wood...
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 12
Thirteen weeks pregnant today, and all I can say is, wow, the world is such a nice place when you are not sick 24/7! :)
How I'm feeling: Better, especially the last two days. There are still pockets of sickness that when they hit they suck, but so different than being sick sick sick all day (and night). I am starting to feel like there is an end in sight. And feeling better physically has also translated into feeling better mentally, which is huge for me right now...I've been feeling so down for weeks and weeks...that's starting to lift.
Also, pretty wicked insomnia has arrived, which my husband reminded me I had last pregnancy, too. Insomnia like I can't sleep at all 'til around 4 AM. I'm dealing with it by getting up and working in the middle of the night, and then sleeping some during the day when I would otherwise work. My husband and mother-in-law have been great about covering with the kids so I can get some sleep. This is happening about every third night. Oh, what I wouldn't give for some Tylenol PM...but not going to happen while I'm pregnant.
What I'm working on: Work's been busy with big and little projects for all but one of my clients (it's somewhat rare that I have projects with everyone all at once). Money's going into the maternity fund...yay! And as of today I feel on top of things for the first time in a few weeks...think I'm even going to take tomorrow off and just hang with the twins all day.
What I'm reading/watching/listening to: Just finished the book "Waiting for Birdy," about a woman pregnant with/having her second child. Really enjoyed it. Also watching "Breaking Bad," just started Season 4 and oh my gosh it is getting violent (when I told my husband he said, "It's a show about meth, what did you expect?") Going to make a playlist for my iPOD this weekend of happy pop-y, summery songs, with Daft Punk and Imagine Dragons in there somewhere for sure.
What I'm excited about: Can't wait to feel this baby move. Can't wait to be officially out of the first trimester. And I was thinking for the first time this week about how much fun it will be to get everything ready for this baby...physical things like receiving blankets and the adorable newborn clothes we've saved...
What I'm scared about: 6 more months of insomnia. Hopefully it'll just be an occasional thing...
What I did for me this week: My brother and his girlfriend and kids came down for a long weekend last weekend...totally lounged with them vs my normal running around trying to get a million things done. I took Monday off work, too, (my husband did, too) and my mother-in-law watched the kids and we all went to the Family Fun Center and played putt putt golf and did the bumper boats a bunch of times (everyone got soaked and I laughed so hard...been a long time since I laughed like that) and everyone else did go-karts a bunch of times but they are not recommended when you are pregnant...still, looked so fun...I've never been in a go-kart, totally want to go once I'm no longer pregnant.
And, my husband and I are doing an official dinner-and-a-movie date night tonight...it's been a while since we've done something like that.
XOXO
Pregnancy: Weeks 10 and 11
Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday!
Just crossed in to being 12 weeks pregnant...yay!
How I'm feeling: Sick. Tried zofran to help, but all it did was give me a horrible headache on top of the nausea, so back to just suffering through the nausea. Hope it gets better soon!
What I'm eating: Tuna sandwiches and grapefruit juice when I'm good, cheese and sour cream potato chips and vitamin water when I'm bad
What I'm excited about: Not feeling sick, which should happen sometime soon, right? And I'm starting to look really pregnant, not just fat, which is good. And everything looked great at my OB appointment last week. And I AM OFF FERTILITY MEDS! I have my last blood draw tomorrow. So happy.
What I'm scared about: Work...I just don't feel like I have a good handle on it. There's too much of it right now and I don't have the energy/reserves for too much work. Also, I have this nagging fear of how are we going to handle three children? Two we've got down...I am just scared of the unknown, and feeling stretched so thin right now...
What I'm watching/listening to/reading: The Voice, which is over now...love that show. And I just started watching Breaking Bad (you kind of have to if you live in ABQ)...my Dad introduced me to it and it's amazing. Also reading a book called Waiting for Birdy that is so cool, it's a woman with a toddler writing about expecting her second child. Loving it.
What I'm doing for me: Hopefully I'll have more to report here next week. The honest answer right now is pretty much nothing, aside from getting my camera fixed yesterday. Oh and I did pick up a couple of books at the library a few days ago. And went to lunch just my Mom and me on Monday, that was lovely. So maybe I'm not doing so bad...
Can't wait to feel less sick.
And be "safely" out of the first trimester.
And to feel the baby move, although I know that's a little ways away.
XOXO
Grace in Small Things, June 4, 2013
Hi Everyone!
Happy Tuesday!
Here are some things that are good in my world:
- Thanks to those of you who left kind comments on my (somewhat whiny) post the other day. And to Janie, whom I don't know, thank you for the gentle (and very polite) reminder that things could be worse. Yeah, I'm feeling down about some things, but everything is right in my world right now and my malaise is NOTHING like the pain of fertility stuff and miscarriages and etc. that so many women go through before getting to have a take-home baby. That is hell. This is no big deal
- Story hour at our local library is so great. And it's pretty easy for me to take both kids there by myself...I feel like supermom when I can get out and about like that with twins. (Getting out and about with them has been more challenging since I haven't been able to load the stroller up in the car...because I'm not supposed to life heavy things while pregnant...I had no idea how much that stoller enabled me to do, and what a learning curve it would be figuring out how to get out of the house with 2 kids without it)
- Taco Cabana chicken quesadillas are the best thing ever. With the very, very hottest sauce, tons of it, I could drink that stuff. That's one of my cravings lately and so glad I can just drive down the street and get one. (The other things I'm craving are celery...weird, I know...and grapefruit juice, which is what I craved last pregnancy)
- Work is busy. Projects are fun. Although I have a MASSIVE thing to write in the next week or so...a little nervous about how I'm going to pull that off but my husband said he'd be happy to help with the kids so I know it's going to happen
- And...OK...confession: After swearing up and down my whole life that I would NEVER drive a minivan...well, as of this weekend there is a minivan parked in our driveway. The funny thing is, I thought I would hate it and, you know, it kind of needed to be done with 3 kids coming up and 2 big dogs and Grandma living with us and my parents visiting often and us wanting to do road trips to Colorado and elsewhere, but I didn't expect to be happy about it. I've driven a Jeep FOREVER. That's who I am. But you know what? I am actually LOVING the minivan. So easy to get the kids in and out. So easy to get everyone in the car to go somewhere. So easy to do errands. This minivan thing kind of rocks. :)
Hope everyone is having a great week. :)
XOXO
Image Credit: tetamodeler
Pregnancy: 8 Weeks (And I'm Struggling With Being Pregnant and Other Stuff)
Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!
I was 9 weeks pregnant yesterday, and according to my ultrasound a few days ago, all is well.
All I can really talk about this week is being sick, sick, sick.
And exhausted, but really the being sick is worse.
And I'm fighting it, I have been for a couple weeks, but feeling so terrible is getting me into a really bad funk.
Compounded by the fact that I'm in a new city with no friends and my family a little farther away than I'm used to (although they are still close and have been visiting a ton which I HUGELY appreciate).
You know, Albuquerque is going to be great, there is so much the city/surrounding area has to offer and I'll make friends, I know I will, and I love our house and my husband and the kids are the best and my husband's job is just amazing--amazing--but, I don't know, I am missing Colorado, and Seattle, and California, don't even get me started on California...I always miss the places I've lived in the past, it's just who I am. I miss the green of the springtime and grass, oh my gosh I miss grass (it's pretty much all about xeriscaping around here) and I'm just so sick and exhausted all the time, I feel like I'm having to give up everything about myself for a family...I just feel like I'm losing every shred of who I used to be from where I live to doing creative stuff to traveling to being active and outdoors to having a social life...and I know a lot of this is temporary, I knew going into this that the pregnancy would probably be hard, but still, the day-after-day reality is really getting to me.
But what is there to do but carry on, you know? I love my life, I just wish I didn't feel like the old me totally has to die to have this. Does anyone else feel this way? I think the combination of a new city (with no support system) + fertility treatment craziness + morning sickness + some fear about being able to give three kids what they need...I've got two down pat...is three going to be OK, or will it totally push us over the edge?...anyway, I think all these factors together are...it's just feeling like too much.
Oh, and by the way, totally changing the subject, I am doing horribly with the diabetes diet. When I actually had gestational diabetes I did an A+ job of eating the way I was supposed to. But being advised to eat that way before I actually have an issue...it's so hard. And it's not really junk food that's the problem, it's that I want some carbs to keep from throwing up. And I'm supposed to have protein at every meal/snack but I don't want protein. I've actually got a million food aversions going on right now...like avocado, which is usually my favorite thing ever. And what I want to eat is weird, like a tuna melt the other day...I never ever eat tuna melts...
Anyway, that's where things are.
I'm hoping in another month or so I'll stop feeling so sick and that will help me emotionally.
Things are hard right now.
On the other hand, my husband's worked hard this week to get our new pool in working order...so we now have a sparkling, crystal clear blue pool in our backyard to play in with the kids this weekend...and it's supposed to be sunny and in the 80s the whole time...and the pool water's nice and warm...and all the roses and other plants are blooming out there...ah, it's so lovely and we're so lucky...how can anyone be sad with that happening, right? :)
XOXO
2nd Ultrasound...Good News
Hi Everyone! Happy Wednesday!
I had my second ultrasound yesterday and all is well, the baby is measuring 8 wk 5 days which is exactly where he/she should be, heart rate of 178 which is normal.
The subchorionic bleed seen last time is shrinking (pretty much gone, really), not growing, which is a huge relief. I didn't want to talk about this before, but all the info on Dr. Google for pregnant women is very reassuring ("It's usually no problem! Don't worry!"), but when you go into the actual medical literature (which I know how to do...I do advertising but it's mostly in the medical field, so I need to access that sort of stuff for my job)...anyway, when you go into the medical literature where they talk to doctors who have no emotional investment in the situation, the information is WAY more grim, with straight-up statistics showing significantlytly higher miscarriage rates and stillbirths (which was what was getting me really freaked out) associated with the condition. But for me, the bleed is getting better, not worse, so not something I need to worry about. I actually did a pretty good job not worrying between ultrasounds...somehow after all I've been through trying to have babies I just can't get worked up about things anymore unless they are actual problems, vs what I was told two weeks ago at my first ultrasound, which was if the bleed was growing there could be a problem, if it's shrinking everything will be good.
Anyway, so relieved everything looks so good. Go Freezy!
Oh and I'm starting to get weaned off the fertility meds (yay!). Next OB appointment in two weeks.
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 6
Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday!
I'm 7 weeks pregnant today...yay!
I don't really remember feeling quite this way with my other pregnancies, and maybe it's because I've had some scary things happen, but I already feel so incredibly attached to this baby. Before this week, I was kind of wanting all the medications I'm on to end and already looking forward to not being pregnant anymore, but now...I don't know...I feel like every day I get to be pregnant with this baby is such a gift and all the meds that I hate and all the restrictions are good because it means I'm pregnant. I just really really really don't want anything bad to happen...
In other news:
- If you haven't seen it already, check out my notes from my first OB visit
- Having some tiredness but not too bad
- Having nausea for sure but again not too bad. Keeping food in my stomach seems to help. And it's not totally debilitating like all I can do is lay on the couch like it has been in the past
- My new OB asked me to start following the diabetes diet now, since I had gestational diabetes last pregnancy. My husband and I plan our menus a week in advance so I'm not doing the diet 100% yet, but I will. It's kind of hard to do just from a meal planning/organizational perspective, but I know it's the healthiest thing for me and the baby, and also I lost all the weight from my last pregnancy and I think part of what made that possible/not too terribly difficult was eating that good diet/not being able to indulge in sweets while pregnant, you know? So it's a good thing all around
Think good thoughts for me and Freezy! :)
XOXO
Baby Update, Or Why Can't This Whole Thing Just Be Normal and Easy?
Hi Everyone! Happy Wednesday!
Met my new OB Monday (like her) and had an ultrasound yesterday (should have been Monday, but scheduling mix-up). In the above picture, the circle is the yolk sac and the oval beneath is Freezy. I am in love! :)
The good news is the baby is just the right size and the heartbeat is as it should be. And I haven't had any more bleeding.
The bad news is there is something called a subchorionic hematoma (you can read about it here and here) that is what caused the bleeding last week. A lot of times these take care of themselves, but if not a miscarriage is probably in the cards. Dr. Google says most of the time there's no issue, and my OB says there's no reason to be unduly concerned at this juncture, so trying to focus on that.
Still. Scary.
Oh and also I have cysts in my fallopian tubes I think? Or maybe somewhere else. But cysts. And if they don't go away they'll take them out in the second trimester, my OB said. Not so worried about that part, though...we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. My OB was surprised to hear I wasn't in any pain in relation to the cysts. Maybe they are what are causing my belly to already be so distended?
Anyway, another ultrasound scheduled for 5/28. Until then, I just have to take really good care of myself and this baby, and assume everything is going to be OK.
XOXO
Getting Back Into Shape After Babies: 6-Month Edition
Can you believe our babies are going to be six months old this week? Gosh, it is so great watching them grow and change, but I also don't want this precious time to be over.
But anyway, what I wanted to talk aobut today kind of ties back into yesterday's post, about taking some time for me.
I am really committed to getting back into shape after having these babies. It's partly a vanity thing...I want to feel pretty and look good for my husband. Right now I really want to fit into my pre-pregnancy winter clothes, and/or shop for some new things. But I don't want to shop until I'm at my goal weight.
But it's also less selfish and more health-related. I've been having some lower back pain in relation to the twins...picking them up out of the crib especially is so bad on my back. I'm doing a number of things to try and help the situation, but losing the last bit of weight and getting my body stronger are two things I know will help. Also we're talking a lot about me trying to get pregnant again next spring, and I want to be as physically strong for that as possible.
So where am I at? For a while, I was doing great with exercise, but lately I've been terrible. Travel is part of it, and Luke not liking the heat, crying when I take him for walks in the stroller because he'd get too hot. And also, I was going to yoga twice a week, but stopped because it's hard for me to be away from the twins for something that's just for me. And yoga's in the evenings and I love the bedtime ritual...don't want to be away for that. And also my yoga studio is in flux, so when you show up for class you don't know what kind of class you're going to get, and I hate that.
Regardless, I am down to 143 lbs. My goal is 135, so only 8 pounds to go, which I'm pretty excited about! (Actually my original goal was 140 lbs., but my husband suggested 135, which is a reasonable weight for me, so that's my current goal.) That's doable in a month or two. And my husband has held out the carrot of a little shopping spree when I reach my goal....so that helps with motivation for sure! :)
My progress:
At the end of my pregnancy: 202 lbs.
6 weeks postpartum: 157 lbs.
4 months postpartum: 152 lbs.
6 months postpartum: 143 lbs.
It's actually good for me to list this out, because it feels like my progress has been soooooo slow...good to see that I actually AM making progress!
So anyway, I am recommitting to exercise (and exercise for me, by the way, is something I love and that I feel defines me...so in addition to getting in shape, when I make time for it I also feel like I'm getting a little piece of myself back.)
Oh, and also, snowboarding season is coming up and I know I can't go like I used to (season pass, once or twice a week on the mountain), but I would like to get out a little and I am in no way strong enough for that at the moment.
Wish me luck with these last few pounds (and the whole making time for myself thing...not easy...)
XOXO
Greedy
The minute I had my kids, I knew I wanted more. Even with as hard as my pregnancy was, I'd do it again in a second. And we have frozen embryos (or "freezer tots," as my husband has taken to calling them), so more is a possibility. (I can't imagine we'd do another fresh IVF cycle.) My husband and I have agreed to table discussion of more kids until early next year, when the twins will be approaching their first birthday. If we decide to do it, we'll do it right away. My husband at this point seems amenable. He HAS said he wants one vs two at a time, though, and I can understand that. (One seems like it would be so easy. Although one difficult baby is likely as hard or harder than two pretty easy babies, which is what we've ended up with.)
A related (and funny and sweet) conversation with my husband, from last week:
Me: I just got my period. Not even 6 weeks from delivery. Weird.
Him: Maybe that means you're super fertile now. Should we use birth control?
Me: Are you serious? OK, first of all, if we get pregnant on our own, it'll be a miracle. And second, if I did get pregnant, that would be so awesome...all the money and time we'd save versus going to the clinic, not to mention all the drugs I wouldn't have to be on...
Him: Yeah, but I feel bad for the freezer tots. I want to spring some more freezer tots, don't you?
And I totally get it. Those embryos in the freezer...I hate the thought of not giving them a chance at making it.
By the way, the only considerations in my mind for us not having a bunch more kids are 1) my age (I'm three years away from what I personally, for me, consider "too old") and 2) being able to do what we want with the kids financially (eg send them to good colleges). Because of these factors, if we do try it (try to have more kids), another successful pregnancy would almost certainly be my last.
We'll see how we feel in nine months or so...
XO
Getting Your Body Back After Pregnancy
Hi Everyone!
Today I wanted to talk about how my body has changed with my pregnancy and the birth of my twins, as well as my plans for getting back to my old self, at least from a physical perspective. Also at the end of this post is some advice for others going through this, based on what's worked for me.
Before all my fertility treatments, I was 5'7", 140 lbs, size 6. I was athletic, mostly Bikram yoga and hiking/backpacking, and in the winter snowboarding several days a week. I also ate pretty well, aside from the occasional fast food meal.
All the drugs associated with 4 IVFs and 1 FET, plus an 11.5 week pregnancy did a number on my body, plus me pulling back on exercise in an attempt to do everything I could to get/stay pregnant. By the time I got pregnant last summer, I was up to 155 lbs and not exercising much beyond very gentle walking. I walked for the first part of my pregnancy, but was very sedentary towards the end. I ate pretty well, especially the second half of my pregnancy, when I had gestational diabetes. By the time I delivered at 36 weeks, I weighed 202 lbs (eek!). So, 47 lbs gained from my weight at the FET, but 62 lbs more than my normal weight.
The good news is I've already lost 45 lbs, so I'm ALMOST back to my weight at the FET (I'm 157 lbs today, 6 weeks after giving birth). I am breastfeeding, but I'm not eating very carefully, and not exercising other than walking. I'm so happy with this weight loss, athough I definitely want to get back to 140 lbs...now that I'm 6 weeks out and not in recovery mode I plan to start exercising more (my husband and mom both said they'll stay with the kids while I go hiking and/or to a yoga class or two) and eat a little better (fewer desserts and fast food runs...sleep deprivation and the business of twins has had an impact on my normally healthy eating habits), although I'm not going to diet per se at this point. I'm giving myself 6 months from the birth to reach my weight goal, although of course I hope it happens sooner. I've also heard it's hard to lose the last few pounds while breastfeeding, so we'll see.
As far as other changes to my body:
- My breasts got HUGE with the rounds of IVF...I went from a 34 B to now a 38 DD. Not sure what size they will end up since the increase doesn't seem to be associated with pregnancy/breastfeeding but instead the IVF drugs
- I had really dark linea negra lines both above and below my belly button, as well as a dark circular mark to the side (like a thumbprint). These are supposed to go away, but they haven't yet
- My whole belly is dark, like I've been out in the sun. Did anyone else have this happen? Does it go away?
- There's definitely fat in my belly area that I need to lose, but my skin seems pretty elastic...there's no sagging or lose skin like I was led to believe might happen
- I made it through with no stretch marks, amazingly. I think it's just my genes vs anything I did...my mom never got stretch marks, either. I did use Mama Bee Belly Butter throughout my pregnancy
- During my pregnancy, my freckles became very pronounced, and a small red birthmark I have on my hairline that's usually flat became bigger and red and blue and raised...all that is back to normal now
- I never felt like I had great hair while pregnant, like they talk about, but I feel like I do now. Weird that it happened after the fact. I'll be sad when I start to lose it
- My gums bled like crazy during pregnancy, but not anymore
So, advice I can offer based on my experience:
- Don't freak out about gaining weight while pregnant, especially if you are eating good foods and not junk
- While pregnant, follow the gestational diabetes diet if you can. I did it because I had to, but I think it kept me from gaining too much weight and has made weight loss easier. Basically, it's eating 6 small meals a day vs 3 large ones, limiting portion sizes of foods high in carbohydrates, eating both carbs and protein at every meal, and really minimizing sweets and other high-sugar foods
- I used the Belly Bandit BFF for a couple weeks right after delivery...and I can't say for sure it made a difference because I have nothing to compare it to, but my tummy flattened out really fast
- Breastfeed
- Buy yourself some things for the interim period. Something that's helped me tremendously as far as not hating the way my body is right now (and I've done a pretty good job of embracing the changes, not feeling terrible about them) is my husband sending me out to buy some clothes. A few weeks after the birth, I was still wearing maternity things, which were big and I hate all my maternity clothes at this point and I was feeling so frumpy, but none of my normal clothes fit. So I bought some cute (and relatively inexpensive, since I don't plan on wearing them for too long) jeans and tank tops and T-shirts I can wear while I lose the remaining weight. Oh and some cute lacy nursing bras and panties, too. :)
Anyone else have some tips on getting back into shape after pregnancy and/or how to love and not hate this period? Would love to hear...
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 35
Hi Everyone!
Still here. Still pregnant. :)
Today is the start of my 36th week, and I am DONE. Except, I'd really like to go one more week so the babies are full-term. But other than that, I'm sooooo big and sooooo uncomfortable. Plus I have a cold or the flu, which is making things doubly hard. I really hope it gets better soon...I really, really, really, really don't want to be sick for labor and delivery.
Here's how the past week has been:
- I've slept a few nights, but mostly dealing with bad insomnia. I've taken to working in the middle of the night so if I do sleep (most of my sleep seems to be happening between 7 AM and 12 PM these days) I don't have to worry about missing so much work time
- Speaking of work, my husband and I have decided that this should be my last week. I really wanted to work right up until delivery because I have 3 months for maternity leave and wanted to spend all of that with the babies, but it's just getting too hard...
- My feet/ankles are swelling terribly, gets worse every week. Trying to stay off them as much as possible, which helps. Have been working a lot from bed, which has been nice
- Still lots of movement from the babies
- The occasional contraction, maybe one or two a day. They aren't super painful but they don't feel that great, either. I had one when I was hooked up to the monitors (they've been monitoring me and the babies at the hospital for about an hour every week, which is great for my peace of mind), and the nurse said it was a "big" contraction, whatever that means
- Heartburn is a bit of an issue, which is new. And the diabetes diet sucks right now because being sick, all I want is juice (OK, OK, and vanilla milkshakes, too), neither of which I can have
- I'm getting really anxious to meet these little guys!!!
One more week. One more week. One more week. (Hopefully.)
XOXO
Pulling In
Very pregnant, close to the babies being delivered, and I am feeling more than anything just kind of wanting to pull away from the world at large, be with my husband and parents, be at home. My attention and focus is so inward right now...it's really interesting...
One of the big things affected is work...I'm still trying to work and I don't know if I have a lot of work or it just feels that way (probably the latter) but it's really hard to get things done and meet deadlines (totally unlike me, I almost never miss deadlines) and to care...I'm still doing good work I think but I don't care the way I usually do, you know? Trying to wind things down as much as possible.
And blogging...I may still post every weekday like I've been trying to do, but my schedule may become a little more erratic for a little while (and I know this is going to happen anyway after the babies come), so bear with me please and don't worry if I don't post for a day or two...
Those of you who have had children, have you experienced this lack of interest in the outside world? Was it associated with impending birth? (That's the other thing I've been doing...trying to figure out if anything and everything is a sign that the babies are about to come.)
Hope everyone is having a lovely week so far.
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 34
Not leaving the house today so not getting out of my PJs. Ah, the glamorous life of the very pregnant... :)
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
So, 35 weeks pregnant today, and big changes are happening with my body. The past two or three weeks of relative comfort and ease are gone. I'm now dealing with:
- Pretty brutal insomnia, like up all night, falling asleep in the early morning for a few hours. Something I'm going to need to get used to to some extent with the babies, I know...
- My back (upper middle) is absolutely killing me. I'm trying everything: hot water bottle, massage from my husband, stretching, Tylenol, icy hot pads, baths (I had 4 on Saturday), but nothing seems to help much
- General achiness in my belly...I can't really tell a start or stop so I don't know if they're contractions, but my belly's pretty uncomfortable a lot of the time
- My belly has grown so much in the past week. I feel like absolutely nothing fits except my husband's PJs and when I'm around the house I can push a tank top up so my belly is bare (my maternity tank tops no longer cover both my boobs and my belly). But I feel like I have nothing to leave the house in, which sucks
- Plus my ankles and feet are huge all the time now, so all I can really do is slippers (although my Uggs work OK too, except it's nearly impossible to get them on because of the size of my belly)
- Oh, and I gained 5 lbs last week (and close to that the week before)...I shouldn't be gaining like that, especially since I'm not eating very much because of the diabetes diet...what is going on???
Sigh.
I've been laying in bed at night saying, please, God, let me enjoy these last few days or weeks of being pregnant, I may never be pregnant again, I love the feeling of our babies moving inside me (there is still a lot of movement, even though it's supposed to be super cramped in there and the movement is supposed to be slowing down...I haven't experienced that). I know what's to come is going to be hard, but this (pregnancy) is so, so hard all of a sudden, too.
Plus, the nausea is back. I've generally been falling asleep only after a snack (breakfast, really) to quite my tummy.
And, I've been reading a lot of baby books recently, but I think I should stop, because although I know they are just trying to prepare you for the problems that could occur, I'm scared from all the reading I'm doing that all of the following are going to happen simultaneously: 1) I will not sleep at all for days/weeks/months, 2) Nursing with hurt terribly and in the end won't work, 3) Our babies will both have colic and both scream for hours and hours on end and there will be nothing I can do, and 4) I'll end up with postpartum depression and barely be able to function.
My husband tells me I always take everything to the worst possible extreme, and it's true. I am trying, though, to picture nursing going great, no colic or postpartum depression, happy, shiny healthy babies and lots of help so I can get at least a little sleep here and there. It could all go wonderfully, and even if it doesn't I've prepared myself as much as possible, and I know I will be in love with these little creatures, so it's all going to be OK.
Anyway, sorry if this all sounds negative...I don't mean it to, still super happy and excited about the babies, I'm just dealing with an awful lot of physical discomfort at the moment, and scared of the unknowns that are about to become my reality...
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XOXO
OB Update
Hi Everyone!
Good news at my OB appointment today...the news I got two weeks ago that the twins were very different sizes appears to have just been a measuring error (which my OB had said it could be). Today they're measuring 4 lbs 8 oz and 4 lbs 12 oz...a little on the small side for 34 weeks, but totally normal for twins. I haven't been terribly worried about the disparity seen a couple of weeks ago, but I have been worrying a little, so good to have my mind put at ease.
I also had the NST at the hospital (as I will every week from here on out) and everything looks great! So all is well, just hoping to keep those babies inside a few more weeks (even though I'm super tired and uncomfortable these past few days...I can take tired and uncomfortable when gestating a few more weeks is what's best for the babies.)
Hope everyone is having a lovely Thursday!
XOXO
A Present From My OB
So I complain sometimes about living in such a small town, but other times, I'm incredibly grateful for it.
I'm good friends with my OB's husband. (I actually have a long history of trying to find the right OB/GYN. I initially dismissed the idea of my current OB, because I thought maybe it would be weird being friends with her husband, but it hasn't been weird at all, and both my husband and I love her. Even thought the first time we saw her professionally--right after my old OB, her partner, had suddenly died--she had to tell us our 11-week-old fetus was dead...what a sucky way to start a relationship. But she was very kind, and things have gone smoothly since then, knock on wood.)
Anyway, I digress.
Her husband, my friend--I invited him to my local baby shower, which was otherwise all women, but he's part of a group of writers I hang out with and I didn't want to exclude him.
He didn't come. ("Too much estrogen," my OB told me when I saw her a few days later.) But he did have a present for me the next time that I saw him.
A sweet little essay he'd written for me.
And two quilts, one for each baby.
Handmade by my OB.
Both my husband and I were so incredibly touched. I mean, who gets presents from their OB? Especially ones I know it took her hours and hours and hours to make.
I love the though of her in her sewing room, after being a high-powered doctor all day, making something so sweet and beautiful for our babies.
Sometimes living in a small town is the best thing ever.
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 33
Hi Everyone!
So, I'm 34 weeks pregnant today. Yay! This is the last week that, were I to go into labor, my OB would try and stop it. Starting next Monday, these babies are going to come out when they want to come out! :) We're getting so close!
Here's how the past week (week 33) has been:
- Overall, everything's going very smoothly. As I said last week, I'm finding the third trimester the easiest of the three by far
- Notable symptoms: Minor sleep problems, backaches, very minor and occasional heartburn, swelling of my ankles/feet (getting worse, although I'm trying to stay off my feet as much as possible). Oh and my gums are bleeding like CRAZY when I brush my teeth...to the point where I can end up with blood all over my lips and sometimes on my face if I'm not careful...yeah, the pregnant vampire look...NOT attractive. I also have to pee so many times a night...part of the problem is I'm super thrsty all the time so I drink more water whenever I get up...but I can't help it, my body just wants so much water right now...
- Eating super healthy with the whole gestational diabetes thing. Except lately I've been craving sweets in the evening. Sometimes I have a VERY small portion (eg one small cookie)...but I don't usually crave sweets at all...it's a little weird...
- Taking a bath pretty much every night...I think that has a lot to do with me having fewere aches and pains and sleeping beter
- Sleeping late when I can, eg the weekends. My body seems to need a lot of sleep right now
- Hospital bag is packed, nursery is pretty much done (I'll share pictues soon!). Would like to write out a birth plan (although my plan for the most part is to go with the flow...I don't have a lot of real strong preferences) and would love to make a new playlist for my iPOD for labor and delivery, but I'm feeling pretty ready
- I feel SO big and ungainly. During the day I do OK, but in the evenings/at night, I think when I'm tired from the day's activity, it's all I can do to get off the couch, turn over in bed, etc. Getting into the car is a feat, too (we have a lifted Jeep so there's definitely some effort involved)
- I'm laying pretty low these days, just getting out of the house a few times a week now. And my mom and husband have been helping with miscellanous chores...like right now my husband is doing all the laundry and the dishes beause it's hard for me to bend over to put things in and out of the machines...bless him...
So all in all, everything's going great. And I'm not all that anxious for this pregnancy to be over, like everyone talks about as you get to the end of your third trimester. Again, I feel better than I have in a long, long time, so happy to keep going with this as long as the babies need to.
And, we have another appointment with my OB Thusday and the babies will be measured...will hopefully put to rest the nagging fear I have that something is wrong with our girl because last time she measured so much smaller than our boy. As long as she's grown and not too far from the norm I know I'll feel a whole lot better. (It's just a minor worry as my OB has told me over and over not to be concerned, that she thinks everything is fine. Still, I get scared pretty easily with this pregnancy and I need all the reassurance I can get.)
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XO
Baby Shower #2
Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!
Today I wanted to share some pictures from my second baby shower a few weeks ago. I had a lovely and amazing (and big!) co-ed shower in Denver the week before, which I loved. This one was local and smaller and all women and I loved this one, too. They were very different, which was really cool. Shower #2 was much more like a traditional baby shower, and we had so much fun!
The shower was held at my house...here are onesies on a clothesline along our driveway...too cute!
It was was thrown by my lovely next-door-neighbor/best friend in town/assistant (she comes in the mornings Monday through Friday to help me with work). She did so many creative and cool things with my shower...and was so excited to throw it for me, which made me so happy... :)
A few pictures of some of the guests...this is my mom...absolutely love her to death!
And Katie, Ann's daughter. Hanging out with Katie has been my kid fix for the past few years. She's so cute and girly and super, super smart...
And this is my mother-in-law, who flew in from Vegas for the shower. She's wonderful. :)
And Heather, a friend of mine, and Maria, Ann's neice whom I've gotten to know pretty well. These girls are so stylish, each in their own way.
First, we played games, including one where each bag contained a baby-related product (pacifier, washcloths, baby hairbrush, etc.) and everyone had to guess what was in the bag just by feel. Fun!
Here's one of my writer friends, Jill, trying to guess...
After games we opened gifts...here's me unwrapping...everyone's gifts were amazing, but I especially loved the handmade things and there were lots...quilts from my mother and mother-in-law, super cute knit hats, flannel burp clothes in the cutest prints, etc. I absolutely love handmade things... (And PS I can't wait to show you the quilts my mother-in-law made, but they have the babies names on them and we're not sharing those until after the babies are born).
And then there was cake...German chocolate, my favorite, and vanilla ice cream, and green iced tea mixed with 7-Up. Super yummy. And I got to get out my grandma's silver and my other grandma's starched white linen napkins...things I don't use very often, but love that I have...
Ann even made me my own fruit cake, because I'm really not supposed to have sugar. How cute and thoughtful is this!?! (Full disclosure...I did have a tiny piece of German chocolate cake, too, although I didn't have any of the frosting because I promised my husband I wouldn't. In exchange, he promised me that after I deliver the babies he will bring German chocolate cake and champange to me in the hospital.)
Ann also had piggy banks set out for each of the twins, into which people put advice for baby girls and boys, good wishes for us and the babies, donations to college funds, etc. I haven't opened them yet, but really looking forward to it!
And here's Ann telling everyone about the sign-up sheet she put together to make sure everyone helps us out with meals (brings us something or sets us up with pizza, etc.) the first two weeks after we come home with the twins. So sweet...I'm sure that's going to be a lifesaver...
A group shot looking down into my living room...
So, all-in-all, such a great, crafty, homemade kind of shower...I absolutely loved it...had the best time and felt so, so loved.
Thanks, Ann!
XOXO