Grace in Small Things, January 17, 2012

1. I had a little mini-meltdown today...I know it's ridiculous, but I was so tired from not sleeping last night and all of a sudden it's really hard to breathe (babies are squishing my lungs, I'm assuming) and I'm feeling so huge and a lot of my maternity clothes don't fit anymore and I feel like I just look fat and exhausted...I AM fat and exhausted...and don't get me wrong, these are GREAT problems to have, I know, but I'm tired of feeling so frumpy and isolated because I never have energy to do anything plus I can't do any of my normal athletic stuff.

But I called my friend Betsy, who laughed at me (which didn't bother me at all, I'm laughing at myself too, through the tears, mind you), and she said I needed a cup cake (no can do, I told her, because of the diabetes) and some retail therapy (which I think is true...I've been trying not to spend money on maternity stuff but a few new things will make me feel better...plus I have nothing to wear for my baby showers). I'm so lucky to have friends I can call...

I also feel like I need a plan to make these last weeks a little more...I don't know what the word is...comfortable? Enjoyable? I don't want to just be counting the days until the babies are born...I want to appreciate each day as much as possible...

2. Talking with my husband today about how he was ready to give up on having kids and live child-free like three procedures ago...so grateful that he was OK with trying again (and again, and again), because he knew how much it meant to me...

3. My biggest client is implementing this big new workflow thing...part of salesforce.com and I normally hate, hate, hate these kinds of initiatives, but so far, this one looks like it's a) not going to be too bad to learn...a lot more user-friendly than other things I've seen come and go, and b) may actually make everyone's life easier (which is what these things are supposed to do, but that doesn't tend to end up being the case in my experience). Fingers crossed...

4. I got my husband a Nespresso machine for X-mas...we first saw these when we were in Europe last winter on our honeymoon...and I'm not drinking ANY coffee until my pregnancy is over but the smell of the coffee he's making is just divine...can't wait to have a cup...plus it takes me right back to Amsterdam when we first got off the plane, snowing like crazy and our hotel had a lovely little lobby with couches around a fireplace and we sank down into the cushions they said, "Would you like an espresso?" and we said, "Yes, please," and they made us each one and it was the best thing ever...

5. My husband's starting school again tomorrow. His last semester, I'm so thankful. We are both SO ready for him to be done...

XOXO