Breastfeeding Is Hard
Hi Everyone!
Today I wanted to share a little about how breastfeeding has gone. Ah...where to start?
I really, really, really, really wanted to breastfeed the twins. I took a class and read a lot about it before they were born, and the main messages I got were:
1) It was all about supply and demand, so if you did it right, there'd be no problem with supply, and
2) Breastfeeding is soooooo much better for the babies.
No one mentioned:
1) Premature babies (at 36 weeks mine were considered premature) can't necessarily breastfeed very well, because they are not mature enough to latch on/suck like they are supposed to
2) Pre-eclamsia (which I had a pretty severe case of) can seriously mess with your milk supply
3) IVF can mess with breastfeeding, according to one of the lactation consultants we worked with. According to her, the hormonal cascades are not the same, and that can have an impact (although I've never heard this anywhere else)
4) Breastfeeding HURTS, especially at first, in my experience. I seriously don't know how the human race has survived when nourishing newborn babies is so painful. On a pain scale of 1 to 10, we were definitely at 10 in the beginning, and I'm still having problems with pain, even though the lactation consultants say I'm doing things right
When the twins were born, I fed them both an hour or so after birth, and that went well, but after that it was really hit or miss, with Luke initially not latching and Zoey latching/sucking sometimes and not others. The lactation consultants (our hospital had a great program with essentially unlimited access, bless them) helped with technique and set us up with a pump and made sure we had one when we went home. Everyone made it seem like breastfeeding exclusively was totally doable.
Then we went home. And I tried to breastfeed round the clock, longer and longer sessions because my babies seemed so hungry. For three days. The whole time, day and night, the babies screaming and screaming. My mom, who is a nurse and spent her career in the NICU, came to spend the night on the third night, and before spending the night she was talking about how breastfeeding was best, there was no reason not to do this all naturally, and by the morning after a night of screaming children said: "These kids need formula."
That same day, the lactation consultants came for a home visit. They weighed the babies, who had both lost a lot of weight, and said the same thing.
Since then, the babies have been getting enough to eat, and it's like night and day around here...from screaming 24/7, to really easy babies (knock on wood) that cry only when they need something.
Here's the regimen we're currently on, set up by the lactation consultants:
1) Breastfeed each baby 10 minutes (I haven't been able to get the tandem thing down, so they each get fed individually)
2) Bottle feed with breast milk pumped from the seesion before and saved
3) Top off with formula until the babies are full
4) Pump until my breasts are empty
All this at least 8 times/day. With help, a feed cycle takes about an hour. Alone, an hour and a half to two.
So, bottom line, I'm glad my children are getting enough to eat. Those first few days at home were awful. But I'm also really sad that my body's not making enough milk for the twins to be breastfed exclusively. I know formula is totally fine, but it's not what I wanted...breastfeeding was so important to me. I also don't like pumping, because it takes me away from the babies...instead of cuddling the babies after feeding, I have to put them down and go spend some time with a machine. And also, although both babies are latching on and nursing pretty well, and it's not as painful as it was, it's still pretty painful on the left side, and sometimes I can't get Zoey to latch on and eat, which I take so personally, even though I know I shouldn't.
I'm going to try to meet with the lactation consultants again this week to iron out some of these issues...also to see what's next because feeding these babies is my #1 priority, but the regimen they have us on is tough time and energy wise...I'm hoping maybe there's something a little easier on the horizon.
Oh, and I'm also (upon recommendation from the lactation consultants) taking Mother's Milk tincture 3 dropperfuls/4 times a day, fenugreek 6 capsules/3 times a day and trying to eat well/enough and drink a ton of water and rest/sleep as much as possible. And I think maybe my milk supply has been increasing a little (which is what all of these things are intented to help with), but it's still nowhere near enough to feed both of these babies.
Sigh.
Breastfeeding is hard.
Thought from those who have been there? I'd love to hear your experiences.
XOXO
