Breastfeeding Update

Hi Everyone!

First off, thank you to everyone who commented with support and suggestions on my last breastfeeding post...very much appreciated. :)

So late last week, I went to see the lactation consultants with a list of questions, but mostly to see if I couldn't get some help with the painful latch on my left side. The consultant I worked with I had met in my breastfeeding class, but hadn't seen since. After saying to me, "You look exhausted," (which is what every health care professional says to me these days), she asked me a number of questions about what I was doing and how it was going. And then she suggested that I just pump and bottle feed, and at least for now let go of having the babies feed at breast.

"That way," she said, "you'll have more flexibility." (Because she wants me to pump 8 times/day, but it doesn't necessarily have to be tied to the feeding schedule.) "And you'll get more sleep. And you'll have some time to enjoy these babies, vs the drudgery of constant feeding. And," she said, "my guess is your milk supply is going to go WAY up, because you won't be so exhausted all the time."

I cried tears of relief when she said this to me. Because I try not to complain--I love, love, love these babies, and I signed up for this--but I AM exhausted...beyond exhausted. And with the painful latch on the left side, breastfeeding on that side is something I have to steel myself for...it hurts a lot. And while a big part of me wants to appreciate and enjoy--DOES appreciate and enjoy--every second of this newborn stage, another part of me has been wishing we could get past it, just so I don't have to deal with the pain of breastfeeding, and can finally get some sleep. But I don't want to wish for time to go faster. And what the lactation consultant was suggesting seemed so much more doable than the way things have been...a way for me to enjoy this time vs wishing it away. 

So it's been several days on the new regimen, and I'm getting more sleep, and the pain of breastfeeding is gone. AND, my milk supply has already gone up...will be interesting to see what happens over the next week or two.

The lactation consultant also had a number of other suggestions, which I'm listing here in case they're helpful to someone else:

• Feeding should be "all business," should take about 20 minutes (cuddle and play after feeding) (we had been stretching out feedings, sometimes taking an hour or more)
• Good feed: 2–3 ounces; do a full feed every time you feed them...no snacks (we had been giving them small amounts of milk from a bottle between feedings)
• Burp after every ounce (we had been burping more often, so this will save time)
• Once a baby has touched formula or breast milk do not reuse (no one had told us this)
• Diaper change towards end (or after) feeding, not at beginning (we were changing at the beginning and end...so this will save us time, and money on diapers, besides)
• A pacifier is OK (we'd been advised not to use one for the first month)
• Wake and feed some during the day so babies will sleep better at night (our babies currently sleep better during the day than at night)
• Have one person do some of the feedings alone so the other person can sleep (we were both doing every feeding, so very little sleep for anyone)

Oh, and I can still breastfeed, but just when I want to and just on the right side (which doesn't hurt) if I want to. 

All this is not my perfect scenario, but I'm learning to let it go. It's OK I'm not doing this perfectly (which in my mind is feeding both babies from the breast 100% of the time). My husband says that's all ego anyway, and I'm sure he's right. 

Hope everyone has a lovely week!

XOXO

Breastfeeding Is Hard

Hi Everyone!

Today I wanted to share a little about how breastfeeding has gone. Ah...where to start?

I really, really, really, really wanted to breastfeed the twins. I took a class and read a lot about it before they were born, and the main messages I got were:

1) It was all about supply and demand, so if you did it right, there'd be no problem with supply, and

2) Breastfeeding is soooooo much better for the babies.

No one mentioned:

1) Premature babies (at 36 weeks mine were considered premature) can't necessarily breastfeed very well, because they are not mature enough to latch on/suck like they are supposed to 

2) Pre-eclamsia (which I had a pretty severe case of) can seriously mess with your milk supply

3) IVF can mess with breastfeeding, according to one of the lactation consultants we worked with. According to her, the hormonal cascades are not the same, and that can have an impact (although I've never heard this anywhere else)

4) Breastfeeding HURTS, especially at first, in my experience. I seriously don't know how the human race has survived when nourishing newborn babies is so painful. On a pain scale of 1 to 10, we were definitely at 10 in the beginning, and I'm still having problems with pain, even though the lactation consultants say I'm doing things right

When the twins were born, I fed them both an hour or so after birth, and that went well, but after that it was really hit or miss, with Luke initially not latching and Zoey latching/sucking sometimes and not others. The lactation consultants (our hospital had a great program with essentially unlimited access, bless them) helped with technique and set us up with a pump and made sure we had one when we went home. Everyone made it seem like breastfeeding exclusively was totally doable.

Then we went home. And I tried to breastfeed round the clock, longer and longer sessions because my babies seemed so hungry. For three days. The whole time, day and night, the babies screaming and screaming. My mom, who is a nurse and spent her career in the NICU, came to spend the night on the third night, and before spending the night she was talking about how breastfeeding was best, there was no reason not to do this all naturally, and by the morning after a night of screaming children said: "These kids need formula."

That same day, the lactation consultants came for a home visit. They weighed the babies, who had both lost a lot of weight, and said the same thing. 

Since then, the babies have been getting enough to eat, and it's like night and day around here...from screaming 24/7, to really easy babies (knock on wood) that cry only when they need something.

Here's the regimen we're currently on, set up by the lactation consultants:

1) Breastfeed each baby 10 minutes (I haven't been able to get the tandem thing down, so they each get fed individually)

2)  Bottle feed with breast milk pumped from the seesion before and saved

3) Top off with formula until the babies are full

4) Pump until my breasts are empty

All this at least 8 times/day. With help, a feed cycle takes about an hour. Alone, an hour and a half to two.

So, bottom line, I'm glad my children are getting enough to eat. Those first few days at home were awful. But I'm also really sad that my body's not making enough milk for the twins to be breastfed exclusively. I know formula is totally fine, but it's not what I wanted...breastfeeding was so important to me. I also don't like pumping, because it takes me away from the babies...instead of cuddling the babies after feeding, I have to put them down and go spend some time with a machine. And also, although both babies are latching on and nursing pretty well, and it's not as painful as it was, it's still pretty painful on the left side, and sometimes I can't get Zoey to latch on and eat, which I take so personally, even though I know I shouldn't.

I'm going to try to meet with the lactation consultants again this week to iron out some of these issues...also to see what's next because feeding these babies is my #1 priority, but the regimen they have us on is tough time and energy wise...I'm hoping maybe there's something a little easier on the horizon.

Oh, and I'm also (upon recommendation from the lactation consultants) taking Mother's Milk tincture 3 dropperfuls/4 times a day, fenugreek 6 capsules/3 times a day and trying to eat well/enough and drink a ton of water and rest/sleep as much as possible. And I think maybe my milk supply has been increasing a little (which is what all of these things are intented to help with), but it's still nowhere near enough to feed both of these babies.

Sigh.

Breastfeeding is hard.

Thought from those who have been there? I'd love to hear your experiences.

XOXO

Two Things I'm Scared About

There are two things I'm scared about surrounding the birth of these babies (aside from the question of, "Will they be born healthy?" I just have to assume that is going to be the case or I will drive myself mad.)

1. Post-partum depression. I have LOTS of risk factors for it, including previous trouble with depression, IVF, twins, gestational diabetes, etc. Don't know what to do other than keep it on my radar (and everyone else's) and get help if I need it. Hopefully if it happens it won't be too bad...and maybe it won't happen at all...
2. Breastfeeding. Everything I hear and read is about how hard it is, how it doesn't go well, how to expect it to be painful and not work etc., etc., etc. But again, I don't know what to do about this other than read and learn all I can beforehand, be really committed to it, and to get help along the way if I need it

Weirdly, I'm not worried about labor & delivery at all at this point...maybe because I've been avoiding too graphic of descriptions...but we have our birthing class on Saturday so that could change.

Those of you who are pregnant/have had children...were you scared about these things? Did they happen? How did you handle it?

XOXO