Pregnancy: 8 Weeks (And I'm Struggling With Being Pregnant and Other Stuff)
Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!
I was 9 weeks pregnant yesterday, and according to my ultrasound a few days ago, all is well.
All I can really talk about this week is being sick, sick, sick.
And exhausted, but really the being sick is worse.
And I'm fighting it, I have been for a couple weeks, but feeling so terrible is getting me into a really bad funk.
Compounded by the fact that I'm in a new city with no friends and my family a little farther away than I'm used to (although they are still close and have been visiting a ton which I HUGELY appreciate).
You know, Albuquerque is going to be great, there is so much the city/surrounding area has to offer and I'll make friends, I know I will, and I love our house and my husband and the kids are the best and my husband's job is just amazing--amazing--but, I don't know, I am missing Colorado, and Seattle, and California, don't even get me started on California...I always miss the places I've lived in the past, it's just who I am. I miss the green of the springtime and grass, oh my gosh I miss grass (it's pretty much all about xeriscaping around here) and I'm just so sick and exhausted all the time, I feel like I'm having to give up everything about myself for a family...I just feel like I'm losing every shred of who I used to be from where I live to doing creative stuff to traveling to being active and outdoors to having a social life...and I know a lot of this is temporary, I knew going into this that the pregnancy would probably be hard, but still, the day-after-day reality is really getting to me.
But what is there to do but carry on, you know? I love my life, I just wish I didn't feel like the old me totally has to die to have this. Does anyone else feel this way? I think the combination of a new city (with no support system) + fertility treatment craziness + morning sickness + some fear about being able to give three kids what they need...I've got two down pat...is three going to be OK, or will it totally push us over the edge?...anyway, I think all these factors together are...it's just feeling like too much.
Oh, and by the way, totally changing the subject, I am doing horribly with the diabetes diet. When I actually had gestational diabetes I did an A+ job of eating the way I was supposed to. But being advised to eat that way before I actually have an issue...it's so hard. And it's not really junk food that's the problem, it's that I want some carbs to keep from throwing up. And I'm supposed to have protein at every meal/snack but I don't want protein. I've actually got a million food aversions going on right now...like avocado, which is usually my favorite thing ever. And what I want to eat is weird, like a tuna melt the other day...I never ever eat tuna melts...
Anyway, that's where things are.
I'm hoping in another month or so I'll stop feeling so sick and that will help me emotionally.
Things are hard right now.
On the other hand, my husband's worked hard this week to get our new pool in working order...so we now have a sparkling, crystal clear blue pool in our backyard to play in with the kids this weekend...and it's supposed to be sunny and in the 80s the whole time...and the pool water's nice and warm...and all the roses and other plants are blooming out there...ah, it's so lovely and we're so lucky...how can anyone be sad with that happening, right? :)
XOXO
