Pregnancy: Month 2

If you'd like, you can read about Month 1 HERE.

In a way, this month has gone by so fast, and in another, these four weeks have been VERY long. A little summary of what’s been going on:

• Exhaustion, although it seems to be dissipating somewhat. I’m not falling asleep every afternoon anymore, at any rate
• Nausea has kind of taken over my life (although no puking, thank goodness). Pretty much feel sick all day every day. Snacks generally don’t help. Seabands don’t help. Laying down doesn’t really help. I’m thinking popsicles may help…just put a batch of home-made orange-juice ones in the freezer for consumption tomorrow…the store-bought ones have sugar I don’t want but they seem to be the only thing that’s making me feel better these days…
• It’s ridiculous the things I can smell. I made curry two weeks ago and can still smell it when I come into the house
• No big food cravings, but lots of aversions. Chicken. Vegetables (especially raw). Curry (LOL). Etc.
• I’m not fitting into my clothes very well, but not ready for maternity clothes yet, either. It’s an awkward stage…
• Moody and teary. More than normal
• My husband has been the absolute best. Cooking me meals, dealing well with my sickness, trying to make sure we’re all taken care of (e.g., he’s been looking for a car for me that’s more family-friendly than my little 2-door Jeep Wrangler). You always hope your husband will be great when you’re pregnant, but there’s no way of knowing for sure until it happens. Mine has been phenomenal
• Struggling a little with pregnancy…just surprised by how uncomfortable it is and how the changes happening to my body are a little bit hard. I figured for me it would be pure bliss, after trying so hard to get pregnant, but that has not been the case. It’s been harder than I expected (and I never really considered the implications of morning sickness, truth be told). But I will say this: after dealing with infertility for many years--THAT is HARD, in a soul-crushing, what-is-wrong-with-me, will-this-ever-get-straightened-out, I’m-afraid-I’m-not-going-to-be-happy-if-we-can’t-find-a-way-to-make-this-work kind of way. Infertility is unbelievably, incredibly hard. Pregnancy is hard in a totally different, much less intense and much easier way…uncomfortable, but I feel like I’m dealing with things millions of other women deal with. I feel like I’m going through something normal, vs how I felt with infertility which was so totally alone (even though I know that’s not the case), like I was the only one in the world who couldn’t figure this pregnancy thing out

Bottom line: Month 2 has been uncomfortable. But something I’m so glad to bear for the purpose of having a baby. Still feeling incredibly grateful to be in this position. Things have also felt a little unreal, too…except for yesterday’s ultrasound, I’ve been feeling a little detached and not really convinced this is actually happening. I think I’ve still got my guard up, until the first trimester is over…