When Work's Going to Be Taking a Backseat, Is the Best Thing to Do to Just Plod Along? (Or, Should I Try to Have Twins and My Dream Job, Too?)

I'm sure work and motherhood is a topic that's going to come up more than once here. Let's start the conversation today, shall we?

Here's the situation I find myself in. I have a good job and a good career doing something that...well...it's not my big passion in life, let's put it that way. I don't hate it, but I don't love it, either. But in a lot of ways I feel trapped, because I'm really good at what I do, it's stable, I make good money, I freelance so I have a LOT of flexibility that I wouldn't otherwise have at an office job (make my own hours, can travel when I want to, don't have to commute, can take whatever time off I want, etc.)...in short, there are a lot of adantages. But I am also tired of it, and I work in a field (advertising) where the burnout rate is really high, and I am feeling the burnout big-time.

If kids weren't in the picture, I do think I would try to do something else. But there ARE kids in the picture, and the reality is they are going to be my big focus for the next few years at least, and while my husband and I have decided it doesn't really make sense for me to quit working entirely, we are going to have my job and career take a backseat to everything else. This means not climbing the corporate ladder. It means working part-time after the babies are born. It means (I think) now is not the time for a career change. (Not that I even know what I would want to change my career TO...I think that's another factor. If I had a clear dream job I wanted to pursue, maybe I'd be thinking about all this differently.)

I don't think I can handle a career change and two new babies at once. I know in this day and age we are all supposed to be super women, but I just am not, and I feel like I'm letting womankind down admitting it, but I don't want to try and be a super star in every aspect of my life all at the same time...that just sounds exhausting. (And by the way, no offense here to ANYONE who is making different choices than me...I hugely respect that everyone is different and everyone needs to make their own decisions in matters like this. I'm not trying to talk anyone into anything...just trying to relay how it is for me.)

I do feel so burnt out, though. Like how can I keep doing this for years and years more? Work just feels like it's eating up almost all of my mental and emotional energy. I need a break. I don't know...maybe I should schedule some time off. (Although I've been thinking I should work hard up until my maternity leave, since people are going to have to cover for me then.) 

Just feeling really stuck. Not excited about doing this work for the next, say, 5 years, but don't really see a good alternative.

Maybe it's just being at the end of a particularly greuling week, and I'll feel better after the weekend. 

Just don't know what the right thing is to do...

I'm worried I'm just giving up in a way. We're supposed to strive to have the best, most satifying of everything in every aspect of our lives, right? Or is that totally unrealistic?

Thanks for listening and chiming in...

XOXO