Kristen 7/12/16 Kristen 7/12/16

How do you make working from home with kids work?

I've been writing about this in my head for weeks, alternating between the encouraging:

It's totally doable if you're organized and have some help!

...and the despairing:

Why would anyone do this? There are not enough hours in the day. I'm totally exhausted all the time.

The truth is probably somewhere in between. It IS doable. It IS exhausting.

That said, here's how I'm currently making things work with a part-time freelance business (20 hours/week doing advertising copywriting) and two four-year-olds who are not yet in school:

Spend lots of time with your kids

My kids are my #1 priority and that is reflected in how I have things set up. Mornings are generally work-free. And dinner/bath/bed time. And weekends as much as humanly possible. And 3 mornings a week, I try to set aside housework, errands, etc. and do something totally kid-focused and fun. One of the keys to being able to do all this is not being on call at work 24/7, especially not having work email or messaging on my phone...and also letting my clients know that if I agree to a deadline I'm going to make it happen, but there are chunks of the day when I am just not available. In my experience people seem to be OK with this as long as they know ahead of time...

Have help for at least some of your work hours

My mother-in-law lives with us and helps out 2 PM-5 PM Monday through Friday with the kids, so at least I know I have that chunk of time to get things done. If I didn't have her I'd probably get a mother's helper for those hours...it could be someone young who I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving alone with the kids, but I'm in the house to help with whatever arises, so...

Squeeze in the rest of your work where you can

I usually need to work more that the 15 hours of childcare I have. I get those other hours generally early before the kids wake up or late after they go to bed. Sometimes weekends although I try to avoid that as much as possible.

Do housework in little bits, and/or get help

Cleaning, cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. I try to get done a little bit every day, usually in the morning when I'm watching the kids. I'll do a bathroom or vacuum part of the house or change the beds, something so I generally stay on top of things. My mother-in-law helps too...if I didn't have her I'd either hire out housecleaning or lean more heavily on my husband. My husband is a huge help with the meals and shopping and dishes as well...

Take care of the little stuff while you're hanging out with kids

Scheduling appointments, writing thanks you notes, paying bills, getting the car washed etc. happens while I'm watching the kids

Make time for your husband

I always spend some time with my husband before he goes to work, and we often exercise together as well (right now in the evenings we'll go for a walk/hike from our house, with the kids having their TV time then and Grandma there for them in case of an emergency). My husband and I also sit on our porch and talk every night before bed, and have date night on Saturdays (Again thanks to my mother-in-law...we're really lucky to have her, I know. But if we didn't we'd hire a babysitter.) My husband and I being happy together is essential to making all this work; time for him and us is a crucial part of the equation.

In theory, it's good to make time for yourself

I'm not very good at this, but I'm trying. I do make time to work out on a regular basis. And I'm trying to set aside time to do some creative things. But I'm not sure I can make time for everything else--and really be there for my kids the way I want to be--and still have time for me. I haven't given up hope though! And as the kids move into preschool and kindergarten and elementary school I know this is going to become easier...

In theory, it's good to make time to sleep

Again I'm not very good at this...I got a Fitbit recently and was more surprised than I should have been that I'm only sleeping 5-6 hours a night...no wonder I'm always exhausted...I didn't realize how little sleep I was getting on a consistent basis. Part of this is needing to be awake to get things done, part of it I think is having so little relaxation/quiet time that it's hard for me to sleep. I'm functioning pretty well, but I'd sure love to figure out a way to sleep more...

What there's pretty much no time for

TV. News. Social media. Randomly surfing the internet. Etc.

How all this comes together

Here's a typical day:

Up 5 AM or 6 AM (I usually wake up that early, even if I'm trying to sleep in.) Work first thing for an hour or so.

Breakfast for everyone, walk dog, a little time with my husband.

Morning/early afternoon is either very kid-focused or very housework, meal, errand-y-focused, but either way there's always a little of both mixed in.

Work 2-5-ish.

Dinner, exercise, kid TV time, baths, stories, bed for kids (8:30 is our target).

Work and/or do something creative (I have some photography and writing-related projects going, including this blog).

Porch time with my husband (10-ish).

Try to fall asleep 11-ish, but it often takes a while.

Bottom line

It's not like I have all the answers, but things go pretty smoothly with this setup most days. And I feel like I'm giving everything I can—and it's a lot—to my kids and my marriage, which are so important to me. And I'm running a successful business. And squeezing in other things (eg creative stuff) in small bits. It works.

This is all a work in progress, too...the kids start preschool 2 days a week in the fall, and with that everything will shift again...

Other moms—how do you do it? Is there some trick to all this that I don't know about that will make everything easier? Would love to hear your experience...

XOXO

Kristen 6/28/16 Kristen 6/28/16

Day in the life, June 28 2016

I'm always curious to see how other women make it all happen in a day. It's not like I have all the answers, but here's how today went, and it's a pretty typical day for me:

5 AM—I wake up, marvel that Sis isn't up yet
6 AM—Give up on going back to sleep, get up, make coffee, do some work on social media projects, proof files for noon presentation
7 AM—Sis is up, we snuggle and talk about the dreams she had
7:30 AM—iPad time for Sis and Bubs, I talk with my husband, walk the dog, make breakfast
8 AM—Paleo blueberry pancakes and strawberries and milk for breakfast at the breakfast bar (kids eat everything but pick out the blueberries). I also order library books from my computer on the kitchen counter
8:30 AM—Bye to Daddy, get kids dressed
9 AM—Fourth-of-July flag crafts, which is not very structured, more just involves red white and blue paper for Luke and stars I cut out for him and pink paper for Sis with pink hearts. I get dressed, brush my hair, put on a tiny bit of makeup, call a friend and leave a message, load and start the dishwasher
9:45 AM—We go upstairs to play "Restaurant"
10 AM—Sis continues with restaurant and Bubs builds with his wooden train tracks. I go downstairs to do a quick call where for the most part I just have to listen. Make the bed while on the call. Fold the blankets outside as well
10:15 AM—Errands: Cable company to replace remote I can't find (closed), gas for the car, dry cleaners where the kids are fascinated with the spinny thing with the clothes
10:45 AM—Back home for quick work call (prep for presentation), kids gather bug catching stuff
11 AM—Kids decide they are hungry and that we should catch bugs later, eat the lunch I was fixing for later: Salami, orange peppers, cherries, 1/2 small bagel with cream cheese, water. I write the first half of this post and answer a few emails
11:30 AM—Kids watch a dump truck dumping gravel at the construction site outside our window, play with Little People princesses on our bed, I pop in and out with them, deal with some little urgent work stuff, snack on some slices of salami and pepper, drink water
11:45 AM—Snuggle and talk time on our bed for me and the kids
12 PM—Presentation conference call and after that some other work for me, 2 episodes of "Miraculous" for the kids (actually this is atypical...we rarely do TV mid-day but this call was last minute and needed my full attention...)
1 PM—Luke has a meltdown because he wants to catch bugs instead of nap, I calm him down, read him "Dem Bones" and Zo "Cinderella."
1:30 PM—Kids try to nap, I go downstairs to work (client revisions, screenshots). Snack on Rainier cherries and water. Monitor non-sleeping kids
2 PM—Grandma takes over and kids probably go to sleep for her. Sigh. Work calls for me
3 PM—Spend time on a personal project
4 PM—Tie up loose ends at work, emails
4:30 PM—Bug catching time! We go down by the river and catch a fly. (Not very exotic, I know, but even flies are fun when you're 4.) In he goes to the "Bug Hotel," which has a stay limit of 1 night.
5:15 PM—Back at the house to do puzzles (kids) and prep dinner (me)
6 PM—Walk with my husband and dog. Grandma watches kids/gives them a bath
6:30 PM—Dinner of hamburgers, grilled squash, guacamole for us and sliced avocados for the kids. They eat great
7 PM—Letters (with a cupcake craft on the front) for Grammy and Papa
7:45 PM—Toothbrushing, stories ("The Only Child" and "Rosie Revere, Engineer") on the blue couch with a kid on each side, Luke bringing Zo a stuffie and them hugging each other goodnight, scratchies and song with each kid individually (Luke: "Little Bird, Little Bird," Zo: "North Mountain" [aka "Let It Go" from Frozen])
8:30 PM—Lights out for kids, I go back to work at the dining room table, they are playing sweetly together even thought they are supposed to be trying to go to sleep...lots of giggling...
9:45 PM—I go up to check on kids and Sissy's doll clothes are everywhere. Make kids get in bed and turn out lights. I'm not happy. Tomorrow morning they're going to clean everything up
10 PM—Finishing this blog post and then short walk for the dog, wash my face and put on PJs, join my husband on the porch (probably with a small vodka with lemon over ice) to have some time together and watch the stars (a nightly ritual), then reading in bed until I fall asleep, hopefully by 11 PM

Never a dull moment around here...