Should You Get Excited After You’re Finally Pregnant?

Finally…a good pregnancy test, followed by a second. I feel happy and peaceful and like I don’t have to drag an enormous burden of sadness around with me everywhere I go anymore.

But. I’m cautious. I don’t even want to write the word “miscarriage,” but it’s a possibility, I know. I don’t want to dwell on it, but I’m feeling the need to protect myself, to stay as neutral as possible, until the first trimester is done in April. After that, I read somewhere, there’s only a 1% chance of miscarriage, so I’ll be, for the most part, safe.

What this means:

• NO baby-related purchases until then
• NO changing anything in the house (eg, getting started on a nursery)
• NO knitting baby clothes, or even looking at patterns
• NO making broad general announcements about my pregnancy (although my friends and family who read my blog know)
• NO crazy-deep attachment to the baby/ies

And I feel kind of bad about this last point. But I’ve read that it’s entirely normal to feel this way after IVF, especially if, as is usually the case, there have been many years of trying to get pregnant before the successful cycle occurs.

I know what’s going on…I’ve had so many disappointments and things go wrong…I’m just trying to emotionally guard against making something bad happen be any worse.

I’m sure as time goes on and my pregnancy becomes more viable how I feel will change, but right now I’m just trying to stay relatively unexcited and calm, while striving to do everything I need to do 100% right (take my medications, eat right, get some light exercise, rest, minimize stress, no travel, etc.)

The answer to the get excited question is different for every woman, of course. For me, I think it’s a question of feeling safe. Every week that goes by without incident I’ll feel a little safer. Every step--each ultrasound, weaning off the medications that I’m on, transitioning away from the fertility clinic to my OB--each thing that goes right I’ll let a little more of the excitement it. I don’t think it’s an either/or thing, but something that will happen gradually.

I’m happy--so happy, don’t get me wrong. Just trying to keep that jump-up-and-down excitement for the time being at bay.