Dexy

Hey Everyone.

It'll be two weeks tomorrow since we lost my brother Luke's (our) dog, and I just wanted to share a few things.

The kids didn't say anything at first, but have been very interested lately in where Dexter has been. I've been telling them the truth, Dexy got sick, Dexy died, we won't see Dexy again. They talk about it a lot, and sometimes Luke says "Dexter come home!" and today Sis said, "Dexy hiding!" It's been interesting trying to explain death to 2-year-olds. They're not sad, it's just kind of matter-of-fact to them...and perhaps that's how it should be to us, too, I don't know...

I'm sad, but not overwhelmingly so. I think because it's a dog, and it matters, but it's not the same as a person. And also having the time with him I think helped a lot. I am, however, absolutely exhausted and have been since Dex died...just can't seem to get my energy back.

The other thing I wanted to talk about...knowing Dexter was going to die (although we lost him sooner/faster than expected)...I tried really hard to live without regrets, so I wouldn't look back and say, for example gosh, I should have stopped work and taken my dog for a hike. I DID stop work and take my dog for a hike, many times, especially during the last couple months.

I had planned to take Dex out and take pictures of him the Wednesday before he died...but that afternoon everything started to go down, and we thought we were going to lose him that day and it wasn't that big a deal, the picture thing, but I was wishing I'd had a chance to take pictures. And then he got better (sort of), and the next day, Thursday, I took him and our other dog Newton on a nice hike, and got these photos of Dex at the end of it...so grateful to have these pictures, he doesn't even look sick and you can see how much character this dog has (had)...ridiculous amounts.

And then he died the next day...

Big sigh...

Love to you all...