Zoey's Diary: Three Months

Hi Hi Hi!!!

Here I am, because Mommy said I could tell you all about the past month! So much has happened!

My brother and I, we're laughing and smiling and cooing all the time. And I even have started to roll over. And Bubs (that's what I call my brother) is not very far behind!

We're doing all sorts of new things, like sitting in the bouncy chair:

And the Bumbo...we like our Bumbos, but just for short periods of time:

Our coffee table has wheels and is round, and sometimes Daddy will sit us on it in our Bumbos and rotate the table all the way around so we can take in everything that's going on.

Baths are so fun:

And we're doing Tummy Time all over the place! We're both getting so strong! 

 Here are some pictures of me:

My hair has been going crazy sticking up in the back. Daddy calls it peacock head:

And of Bubs:

Mommy loves us so much. She's still nursing us as much as she can, although we have to have bottles too because she doesn't make enough milk for the two of us. When Daddy brings me over to her to nurse, he says like he is talking over the intercom at a restaurant: "Zoey! Reservation at the cow for Zoey! Your cow is now available!"

This was Mommy's last month of maternity leave, and she spent a ton of time with us:

Mommy lays with us in the hammock at Grandma and Grandpa's some:

We also hang out there just me and Bubs a lot, because we spend every Wednesday with Grandma and Grandpa, and sometimes other days too:

This flower quilt is the one Mommy's OB/Gyn made for her...isn't it beautiful?

We went on our first road trip this month, to Uncle Ben's, up in the Colorado mountains. Here I am with Uncle Ben on his birthday:

And with Grandpa Steve:

The dogs we live with--mom calls them boxers--like us a lot! Mommy tries to make sure they don't lick us, but there are a lot of close calls:

Daddy has been home with us, since he just graduated from college and he's job hunting. He stays up with us all night, so Mommy can sleep. Mommy says he's her rock. We love our Daddy!

Daddy snuggles us lots. He also plays with us lots. Like he'll hold me up in the air on my back and wiggle me forward and say "Backstroke!" It's hil-arious! I'm going to have to get Mommy to take a video of it. He also helps us do funny dances with musical sound effects, punctuated by "Dance, Dance Cheese!" (Cheese is my nickname) said loud at the end of it. 

And we got hats! Check out Baba's (that's my other nickname for my brother):

And here are some more pictures of me. Everyone's always taking pictures of me. Sometimes Daddy says in my voice, like I'm talking to him, "Daddy! Please take care of the paparazzi, Daddy! Make them stop, Daddy!"

Here's me doing a cheerleading pose. I kick and sqeal a lot! (By the way, Daddy says of the squealing that I'm a girl, and so of coure I have to talk about EVERYTHING!)

We are such happy babies! We are having the best time!

Love,

Zoey

Graduation

My husband graduated with his engineering degree on a beautiful, sunny Saturday.

He wanted to keep things low-key, so we had a barbecue after, just family.

(In fact, he told me he didn't even need that.

"But I want to make it special for you," I said.

"Every day hanging out with you and the kids is special," he replied.) 

Love the pics at the end with the kids in the graduation hat...

XOXO

P.S. I just realized I don't have any pictures of his mom in here. She was taking the pictures...lovely to have her with us on this special this day...

Luke's Diary: Month 2

Hi!

Luke here. :) Mommy said I can do the two month update, since Zoey got to do the one month one. Things are pretty great! Daddy was finishing with school this month, so Grandma Peggy spent lots of time with us...it was so fun...we love Grandma Peggy!

Here's Sissy in the basket we used to share:

We're really too big to fit in it together now. These days, we make the rounds between the basket, the swinging chair and the bouncy chair. I miss sleeping next to Sissy, though. 

Speaking of sleep, Daddy has been staying up with us from 10 to 4 or 5, and then Mommy hangs out with us in the morning while Daddy sleeps. They are so much more rested than they were when they were both feeding us at every feeding. 

Here's another picture of Sissy:

And a couple of me:

And some of us together:

Everyone says me and Sissy are such easy babies. Except she wants what she wants when she wants it. Daddy made up a voice for her when she gets like that...kind of like an old-fashioned diva movie star, like Katharine Hepburn.

"Daddy!" Daddy says in his Zoey voice. "Feed me now, Daddy!"

Or: "Cuddle me, Daddy."

I just have a normal baby voice when Daddy does me, because most of the time I'm like, whateves. I do get some uncomfortable gas sometimes, though. Daddy says that's because my gasometer is broken.

We went on a picnic at the lake a little while ago, and Sissy got fussy and Grandpa Steve took her so Mommy could finish her dinner:

Grandpa Steve took her to the playground, and when they came back he told us they had had a career talk.

"Zoey doesn't want to be a writer like Mommy or an engineer like Daddy," he said. "She told me she wants to be a pediatrician or a fireman or maybe a pharmacist."

Grandma Charlotte came out for Daddy's graduation. I was so happy to see her again:

Here are some more pictures of Sissy:

And here she is with Daddy:

He does stuff like turn us upside down all the time. We love Mommy, but Daddy's the one who makes us laugh. Like when Mommy reads us a story, she just reads the words on the page. But when Daddy reads us a story, he makes up other stuff to go along with it. Like when he reads The Very Hungry Caterpillar, he gives the caterpillar a silly name like Federico McFuzzy Pants. And we get asides on stuff like caterpillar backstory and motivation.

And one night, we were crying for food and Daddy and Mommy weren't moving fast eonugh for me and Sissy and Daddy said in my voice: "Stupid cows." (He calls himself the man cow, and the formula he gives us fake moo. He calls Mommy the Mama Cow, and her milk the real moo.)

"Stupid cows," he said in my voice. "What does a boy have to do to get some milk around here?" And then later he looked up on the internet to see if there was a song named Stupid Cow and there was and it was a techno song and he did a little dance pretending it was me...my same jerky arm movements and everything. He made Mommy laugh so hard!

Or sometimes he'll make jokes. Like Sissy has a birthmark on her leg, and you know we were in the freezer as embryos before we got put into Mommy's tummy. Daddy says the mark on Sissy is freezer burn.

Mommy can be funny too, like when she and Daddy race to see who can get their baby buckled into the car seat the fastest. (They double and triple check for safety, afterwards, though.) But mostly she just hugs us and cuddles us and feeds us and burps us and changes us, gives us baths, rocks us and generally loves on us. (Daddy does all that too. Except for the bath part.) Mommy reads to us a lot, too, sometimes age-appropriate books, but she's also been reading me and Sissy poems out of her Poetry magazine, and I think she's been reading Sissy Vogue, too.

Here's Mommy and my grandmas on Mother's Day:

Daddy helped me and Sissy with presents for Mommy. She said it made her sooooooo happy.

Those outfits we have on are outfits Mommy wore when she was a baby, by the way. Don't we look cute in them?

Bye for now! (And Mommy says to say thanks for stopping by.)

Luke

Month One

A Psychic, a Birthmark, and Some Thoughts on Reincarnation

Hi Everyone! Happy Tuesday!

I'm getting all hippie and "new agey" around here today...be forewarned...

So my mom went to see a psychic a few years ago, in relation to my brother/her son's death. Recently, she told me about it, and let me listen to a recording of the session. Lots of really interesting things in there, including something really remarkable about my children that I want to share.

The psychic was talking as though my brother were communicating with her, and she said there was a little girl with him, a real chatterbox, and that that little girl would come into our lives. And it's easy to think that that little girl was Zoey, because, no question, she is our chatterbox.

But here's the cool part. The psychic said several times throughout the session that my brother kept pointing to his left leg...she kept asking my mom did he have a scar or tattoo there? Or did Kristen? (They talked about me quite a bit in the session.) My mom said no, but it kept coming up. 

Well, Zoey has a very prominent birthmark on her left leg. And I know it could just be coincidence, but I get goose bumps thinking about it.

On a related note, I wrote before about the possibility that my brother could be reincarnated into one of my children, and I thought before they were born that it would be very clear to me if that happened. The reality...you know, some days I think maybe my son Luke is my brother's soul or whatever you want to call it reincarnated. I like to think of him and Zoey together, like the psychic was saying, and then coming down to be with me. It's like Luke (my son) brought a friend with him, to travel through life with him, and that makes me smile.

But other times, I'm not so sure...I feel like my brother is watching over all of us, and will be there for me when I die, neither of which can really be the case if he's been reincarnated, right? Also, my son is so very mellow and laid back...whereas "intense" is the word I would use to describe my brother. There was nothing mellow about him.

Either way, it doesn't really matter. I will always see and treat my son as his own individual and unique person.

Who knows if there's any validity to all this, anyway. It just gives me comfort to think that there might be...

Hope everyone's having a lovely week.

XOXO

Zoey's Diary: One Month Old

Hi!

Zoey here!

My little brother Luke (who, I'd like to point out, is a full 10 mintues younger than me) and I are going to take turns telling you about what's been going on around here. Since everybody says I'm such the chatterbox, Mom said I could go first!

During the day, Luke and I spend a lot of time sleeping nose-to-nose in our Moses basket. Mom and Dad got two baskets as gifts, and at first put us in seperate baskets, but we weren't happy...we like to be together. We still fit into one, but we're both growing like crazy, so that won't last much longer.

Here I am in the chair Mom sits in to nurse me. Grandma Peggy put this bow in my hair...isn't it cute? She and my mom just love dressing me up!

Here's Luke with our dad. Dad's almost done with college, and gets to spend a lot of time at home with us and Mom. He takes good care of us, although he did try to cut off my toe on my first day home. He didn't mean to, though! He had taken scissors to cut the hospital band off my leg, and with my other leg I kicked the blade. It wasn't much of a cut...there was blood everywhere, though. He felt so bad! 

Dad is super great, because he makes Mom laugh and us smile on the inside. He's always making up songs for us. Like you know that song "Sweet Caroline?" Mom started jokingly calling herself "the cow" because of all the milk production that's going on, and so Dad started singing to her, "Sweet mama cow...moo, moo, moo..." 

Dad also keeps things fun during feedings DJing from his iPAD. He lets me and Luke weigh in on the songs, and skips to the next one if we don't like what he's chosen.

My thing with Dad is dancing. Sometimes he'll make my legs go real fast and sing "Maniac" from the movie Flashdance. He's also teaching me to hula. And when Luke or I are waving our arms around, he'll narrate stories...you know, what we'd say if we could talk.

Basically, Daddy cracks Mommy up all day long.

Here's Mom with both of us. She calls me Zo-Zo, or lots of times Sissy. She calls Luke Little Man. Dad calls Luke Bubba sometimes, but Mom doesn't like that...she says it sounds Southern redneck. Dad also calls me Squeal Cheese and Luke Squeak Cheese...Squeal and Squeak for short, or Queso de Squeal and Queso de Squeak when he feels like talking in Spanish, although I'm not even sure that is gramatically correct.

I sometimes make little mewing sounds...little sighs of happiness when Mom holds me like this, and my brother does, too. Mama says it melts her heart.

Here we are dressed to go out. A lot of our clothes are still too big for us, but we'll grow into them.

Mostly, we've been to see doctors and to Grandma and Grandpa's. Mom also takes us for walks, and sometimes Dad comes too. Mom says the world was cold and bare until we were born, and then all of a sudden spring was everywhere, with leaves on trees and flowers blooming and the weather warm. She likes being out after having to rest so much when we were in her belly.

We're staring to sleep less and be awake more. It's fun to sit up and see what's happening.

Here's Grandma Peggy, our Mom's Mom. She comes over on Mondays and Wednesdays and plays with us so Dad can go to school and Mom can get a little sleep. She used to be a nurse in the NICU, whatever that means, but because of that our Mom asks her for lots of advice about us. Grandma Peggy loves us so much, and we love her too!

Here's Grandpa Steve, our Mom's Dad, feeding Luke. Once he and Grandma Peggy came to babysit, so Mom and Dad could go out together (although why they'd want to be away from us for even a second, I have no idea). We love Grandpa Steve!

And here's Grandma Charlotte, Daddy's Mom. She lives in Las Vegas, but came to visit us last weekend. We love Grandma Charlotte!

Two boxers live in our house, Newton and Dexter. Mom and Dad have made sure we all get along and all feel loved. Here's Daddy with me and Newton. I like the boxers, except sometimes they lick my ear. One or the other of them always lays on the floor in front of our crib at night, though. They make us feel safe.

Mom took us to the park the other day and let us do tummy time on the grass. Here I am in my favorite outfit. Dad doesn't get the ruffles on my butt, but Mom understands how cute that is. Luke and I are about to outgrow a bunch of stuff already, so I need to wear my favorites while I can!

Here's Mom with Luke. Doesn't she look happy?

And with the both of us. She loves us so much.

Gotta run...Dad's calling. "Squeal Cheese," he's saying, "want to hula?"

Love, Zoey

Thank You, Chickenpig! (And Some Cute Baby Photos)

Hi Everyone!

So one of my bloggy friends, chickenpig, knit these ADORABLE hats for our twins...love them, love them, love them! Thanks, chickenpig! :) (By the way, she's in the middle of an IVF cycle right now, and I'm sure could use some words of encouragement...you can find her blog here.)

And another cute photo showing off the babies' hair...love how Zoey has dark hair like mine and Luke is blonde like my husband...

Happy Tuesday!

XOXO

Birth Story, Part III: Postpartum

(If you haven't already, you can read about my labor and delivery here and here.)

So, after delivery and being sewn up in the OR, I was taken back to my room. The babies were already there with their grandparents, and were getting checked out/cleaned up. It seemed like ages before I got to hold them! My dad got me a roast beef sandwich and milk (I hadn't been allowed anything but broth and popsicles all day), and FINALLY I got to hold the babies. And try to breastfeed, which went pretty well (although that wouldn't continue to be the case).

After a couple hours, they were ready to move me upstairs, and during that transition I got so cold, violently shaking, which my nurse said often happens after delivery. My husband and the babies came upstairs with me to another private room (I can't tell you how much I appreciated the fact that our hospital had private rooms)...it was pretty late at night by that point, one or two in the morning, and we put the babies between my bed and the couch my husband was going to sleep on, and it was hard to go to sleep with them in the room, I just felt such overwhelming love and awe. I also kept thinking that if something happened to them, there is no way I'd be able to survive it.

We stayed two more nights and another full day in the hospital...the twins were fine, but my health was worrying the doctors, with my blood pressure sky high and my liver enzymes and something else I can't remember (kidney function?) abnormal and trending the wrong way. My doctor said if they discharged me and I had to come back I wouldn't be able to bring the babies, so they didn't want to let me go home until they were pretty sure I was going to be OK.

Hard to get any sleep in the hospital, with blood draws every 6 hours, and people checking on me and the babies round the clock, and visitors (my brother and a family friend came over from Denver...was so great to have him meet the twins!)

We needed (and had) lots of help from the lactation nurses. (Breastfeeding has been a challenge. But that's a post of it's own.)

I was in a bit of pain, but some drugs and heating pads and ice packs helped. 

Was also dealing with that nasty cold, which was such a bummer, but it is what it is.

Didn't get into a shower until a couple hours before I went home, and it felt soooooo good.

And then it was time, and home we went.

We've been home two weeks now, and having these babies...it is just amazing. Words can't even begin to describe how incredibly happy we are. And tired. Oh, Lord. But my husband's home 5 days a week to help, and my mom comes the other two, and we've had friends and neighbors bringing us meals, so tons of help and that makes a big difference. Also, our babies are really easy babies so far (knock on wood), crying pretty much only when they are hungry (although right now that's eight or more times a day) and then after eating going right back to sleep. So all in all, things have been pretty manageable. The babies are already growing and changing, too, which is so fun to watch, but makes it so apparent how fleeting these days of them being newborns are... 

Just trying to soak it all in and remember every moment...

Here are a few pictures:

Zoey (left) and Luke. Love that they put them together.

 

Luke.

Zoey.

Finally I get to hold one of my babies. :)

My dad with Zoey...

My husband with our baby girl...he is so in love with these children...

Me breastfeeding our son...

Leaving the hospital...

XOXO

Birth Story, Part II: Delivery

(If you haven't already, you can read Part I [about my labor] here.)

So, 9:30 PM-ish, I got taken to the OR, my husband with me and what seemed like about 15 doctors, nurses, etc. It was crowded in there!

Honestly, the first part of being in the OR is a blur. Bright lights. Lots of activity. I was scared and my husband was calming me down. There was a basketball game on the radio, kind of quiet in the background. They moved me from my bed to this table with big black boot-like things for my legs, and my husband joked this was the closest I was going to get to snowboard boots this year.

And then the doctor took a look at me and said, kind of panicked, "I need everyone ready NOW! This baby's crowning, one push and he'll be out. Look at the head of dark hair! And where the hell's the anesthesiologist?Somebody get him here NOW!"

My husband stood at my side, and somebody said there was a contraction coming, and the doctor told me to push as hard as I could to the count of ten, and then to do that two more times. I pushed hard, until I was out of breath, but I didn't feel a thing. 

Another contraction came, and she had me push again. And then another, and the doctor said, "here he comes," and then I heard a baby cry and somebody said "she." (Everyone had thought our boy was in position to be born first, but it actually turned out to be our girl.)

My husband was crying, and they put our daughter on my chest for a minute, she was so beautiful, I felt so much love the second I saw her. And then they took her away to check on her and my husband went with her and I was listening to make sure she was OK, I'm sure I asked if she was OK, too, because one of my fears was that the babies would not be healthy. And then it was a couple minutes later and my husband was back at my side, (still crying, so sweet) and I did three more sets of pushes and out came our boy. I felt him slip out of my body, but no pain whatsoever. Actually, I'm really grateful I had the epidural, because he came out with his arm beside his head and I tore...I cannot imagine how painful that would have been without drugs. 

Again, they gave him to me for a minute, again the crazy intense love, then they took him away to check on him and my husband went with the babies, which they handed to him not long after. He went to introduce them to the grandparents, too, who were waiting in my room. I hated that the babies were taken away, but the doctor had to sew me up and that took some time. Blood everywhere, it seemed like. And I was shown the placenta, which was really big...the two placentas had grown together. 

My husband came back shortly after, still all teary (love him for that) and we just held hands and said over and over, "We did it, we did it, we did it."

Without a doubt one of the happiest moments of my life. So crazy how fast it happened though...no one ever tells you things could happen like that. 

"You were born to birth babies," my doctor said, and my husband said something about me being the birth goddess. It was incredible for it to happen so smooth and easy, so incredibly grateful...

Here are some pictures:

Here's our first picture of our daughter, Zoey, shortly after her birth.

And our son, Luke.

My husband with both babies...

And our first family portrait...

Our babies being transported back to our room...

To be continued...

XOXO 

Birth Story, Part I: Labor

Hi Everyone!

So I wanted to share a bit about the experience we went through with the birth of our twins. 

Wednesday, March 14, I went in for a routine 36-week OB visit. My OB was out of town for the week, and the doctor covering for her told me she (and everyone else in the practice, except for my regular OB) would go straight to C-section with twins that were vertex/breech like mine were. We joked about me needing to make sure to wait until my regular doctor was back in town.

Then I went to the hospital to get monitored (non-stress test), like I'd been doing every week. They asked for a urine sample, which they always do, and I normally tell them I already gave one to my OB, but this time for some reason I did a second sample. Which was really lucky, because I think the sample at my OB's office had somehow fallen through the cracks and hadn't been tested. My favorite nurse was taking care of me, and I lay down and got strapped onto the monitoring machine and started reading my book, figuring I'd be home within an hour.

Instead, my urine came back with lots of protein in it. And my blood pressure was high, and higher every time they checked. And I'd been having terrible swelling in my feet/ankles/lower legs for weeks, which didn't seem to concern anyone until these other things came back abnormal.

So, labs were ordered, and I called my husband to come be with me. Based on the results of the labs, they decided to admit me. I wasn't really given any more information, other than that the on-call doctor would come talk with me.

This all started about 2 PM. It was about 8 PM when the on-call doctor, another doctor in my OB's practice, came in and said that they wanted to keep watch on me overnight but didn't feel like the situation was an emergency. But depending on how things went and how things looked in the morning, they would probably induce me. The twins were doing just fine, I was told, but I was rapidly developing preeclampsia and pregnancy-induced hypertension (which I thought were one and the same, but everyone talked about them as two separate things), and in order to not jeopardize my health, we needed to get the babies out.

They offered me a sleeping pill, which I was so happy to have...I had been sleeping terribly due to the discomfort of being pregnant...also had a pretty bad cold going on...

The night was uneventful. In the early morning, there were more labs, and at 8 AM I was told they were going to induce. I was given cytotec, which is supposed to help soften your cervix (mine was fully closed, my body wasn't anywhere near going into labor). And then we just kind of lay around waiting for something to happen.

About an hour later, I was told that my platelets were dropping fast and I had to get an epidural right away because if we didn't do it then my platelets would be too low for me to have one, and a C-section was what everyone was kind of expecting would happen, so they wanted to make sure I had an epidural in. I kept saying over and over, "I want to do a vaginal delivery if at all possible," I really didn't want a C-section, but I was trying to get used to the idea because that's all anyone was talking about.

So in went the epidural, which hurt. They didn't start the meds, though, because I wasn't really in any pain, they just put it physically in place.

They checked my cervix at 12 PM. Still completely closed. Another dose of cytotec. They checked it again late afternoon. Still closed. Around 6 PM, I started having some labor pain with my contractions (contractions had been happening since the previous afternoon when I had first come in for monitoring). It was a little intense, but my husband helped me through it, and it wasn't awful. I could have stood more.

Around 8 PM, a third doctor from my OB's practice came to see me. She was the doctor on call that night, and said the twins were coming out one way or another. (In the meantime, I'd had a 24-hour urine sample collected and the results of that seemed to alarm everyone.) She said we needed to have "the talk," meaning about how I was going to need to have a C-section. But first, let her look at the babies on ultrasound and let her check my cervix, just to see if anything had changed.

The ultrasound showed the babies had somehow moved into vertex/vertex, which is the best possible position for vaginal delivery. And, when the doctor checked my cervix, it had finally started to open...I think I was dilated to about a 1. The doctor asked the nurse to give her the hook to break my water, and told me if my labor progressed at a reasonable rate we could try for a vaginal delivery. Yay!

I was told pitocin would be started and that they recommended some meds be put through my epidural, as the pitocin would make things pretty intense. I said OK, and the relief from the pain I'd been feeling was pretty much immediate and complete. I'd always been pretty open to an epidural (I'm pretty much a baby about pain), so having one (and using it) wasn't a huge disappointment to me like I know it might have been to some women. 

Anyway, everything had been happening so slowly, my husband went home to take a shower and change, get a bite to eat. My mom stayed with me; I wasn't feeling anything at all, expect in my hip/lower back some pain with the contractions, which I was told was a little spot where the epidural wasn't working. My mom rubbing the area during contractions was enough to help, though.

My husband had barely been gone any time at all when the nurse came in to check me and said that I was complete. 

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means you are ready to deliver these babies."

So crazy...from nothing happening all day to being fully dilated in about an hour...and they had barely used any pitocin at all, either....everyone kept saying, "HOW MUCH pitocin did she have?!?" like they couldn't believe how fast things had happened, either.

So a frantic call was made to my husband to get back to the hospital. The on-call doctor was called back in, everyone got into scrubs, I asked some questions about what to expect pain-wise (not much, I was told)  and I was wheeled to the OR to deliver (they wanted me there in case they had to go to a C-section, they didn't want any delay.)

I was freaking out a little, because everything was happening so fast. I started shivering, teeth chattering, more because I was afraid than cold, but my husband stayed with me and calmed me down. I was so excited to meet our babies, but a little freaked out by the fact that the time was here. I'd been expecting to be pregnant another week or more, or at least until four in the morning, which seemed like a reasonable amount of time for labor. I just couldn't believe I was about to deliver these babies.

Here are some pictures from right before delivery:

My husband, by my bedside...

The on-call doctor who delivered me...love the hat...

One of my nurses...and talk about medical interventions...I felt like I had everything known to man going on...jealous of women who get to do the hippie birth center no pain meds thing...I'm so grateful for everything that was available to me, but a little sad my birth experience couldn't have been simpler/more organic...

I'm smiling here, but really I'm scared to death about what's about to happen...

Me getting wheeled to the OR...

To be continued...

XOXO

Luke and Zoey

Hi Everyone!

Here's a picture of our adorable babies:

Of course I think they're the most beautiful thing in the world...what makes every parent think that?

Off to nurse...more later. :)

XOXO