IVF Interviews (cont.): "Amy"
Today we hear from Amy, who has recently become mother to gorgeous twin boys. Yay, Amy! So happy for you!
I first met Amy (whose name has been changed to protect her anonymity) last spring, when I was going through my second IVF cycle. A friend of mine had recommended that I check out Fertile Thoughts, a site "designed to provide support to women, men, couples, and singles who are building their families." Amy was one of the first people I watched through the message boards successfully go through IVF. I remember her for her kindness and great amounts of exuberance--all those exclamation points!!!! :)--and her happy success!
Thanks, Amy, for being a part of my little interview series. :)
1. Hi Amy! Briefly, give us an idea of what you went through with your fertility issues. (How many years you tried to get pregnant, the sorts of procedures you underwent, etc.)
My bio: I'm 30, DH is 29. We live near Toronto. We have been married since July 2008. On November 29, 2010 our twin boys were born--IVF/FET babies.
I always had a feeling I would have issues getting pregnant. My periods were very irregular right from the start. I never got it checked out because a) I was a super shy teenager, no way was I going to discuss periods with anyone and b) pregnancy was so far from my mind I just didn't think about it. My husband and I were married in July 2008, and we decided to start trying for a baby in December of the same year, so I went off of birth control. I remember that first month of trying...New Years Eve came around and I wouldn't drink, because of the chances of being pregnant. Of course, that didn't happen. Fast forward to around March of 2009. I still hadn't gotten a period since coming off of birth control. My doctor recommended an ultrasound. That made me worry. So of course I started googling. Polycystic ovarian syndrome kept coming up, but I was sure I didn't have that as it had a lot of symptoms I didn't have--elevated testosterone, facial hair, etc. I just didn't have a period. But sure enough, PCOS is what the ultrasound showed. My family doctor immediately refered me to a fertility clinic. Long story short, I went on Metformin and did 3 months of fertility drugs (Clomid and Femara) but never had any follicles grow big enough to be fertilized. So 4 months later I started injections. But then I had TOO many follicles and had to have follicle aspirations (and then IUIs). We did 2 months of this, and then decided to go through with IVF. So in February of 2010 I had the retrieval. 21 eggs were retrieved, 20 were mature, and all 20 fertilized. 13 were still kicking by day 5. BUT another snag--my doctor was worried about OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation) because my estrogen levels were so high (because of so many eggs!). So he would not let us do the transfer that month. I was devastated. But he wouldn't budge. So we had to wait. In the first week of April we did an FET. We transferred 2 5-day best quality blasts. Those 2 little embies are now my 9 week old twin boys.
2. How did you pick your clinic?
I actually did not pick my clinic; I was referred there by my family doctor.
3. How did you stay sane through the process?
I talked about it...a lot. All of my close friends and family knew what was going on. And a lot of people at work, too. Everyone was so supportive. When I finally got that positive beta the girls at work cried for me. It really meant a lot.
4. What did you do as far as being good to yourself?
The only thing I did for myself was eat, which wasn't really good but it made me feel good at the time! I gained a fair amount of weight during the whole process, be that from stress or the fertility drugs (I like to blame the drugs, but the Oreos that I was constantly consuming didn't help!)
5. Was it hard on your marriage? How did you keep your marriage intact/strong?
No I don't think it was hard. Actually I think it brought us closer together. My husband was extremely supportive. He never made me feel like it was my fault or that I was lacking in some way. We just knew that this was something that had to be done.
6. Ugh the two week wait. How did you deal? Did you use home pregnancy tests?
The two week wait dragged of course. I tried to keep myself busy. I did a HPT 4dpt and got a BFN. I was very upset by this but knew it was still a bit early. I did one 6dpt and it was positive...I couldn't believe it!
7. Having been through it, what would you do differently?
I would like to say I would have gone straight to IVF (skipped doing the IUIs and aspirations) but we just weren't ready for IVF until we were (if that makes sense). IVF is a big step, you have to be ready for it. Also I would have tried to be healthier during the process so that I didn't end up with so much extra weight.
8. What's it like when it's all over?
Surreal. I think that pregnancy is hard after infertility, because you are so worried all the time (or at least I was). I would see my fertile friends pregnant and they never worried about miscarriage, problems, etc. I thought about it a lot, especially the first trimester. I didn't want to get too attached, because I really didn't think the pregnancy would stick.
9. How has this process changed you?
Hmm. This doesn't sound nice but I think I'm a little bit more bitter than I was before..even though it worked out for me (thank goodness) it was a hard road and I am still a bit angry that some people (especially those that don't seem to deserve it) can get pregnant so easily.
10. Has there been anything positive associated with this experience (besides the obvious)?
I have become a lot more open with friends and family about things. I really found out how strong my relationships are with my friends after seeing how supportive they all were.
11. What would you tell someone currently in the middle of it?
I want to cry just thinking about people in the middle of it. It's so very very hard. And it's not fair. And it SUCKS. But, and this may sound cliche, but its worth it in the end. Also, in terms of advice, I would say don't keep it to yourself--you really need a support system through this, so talk to someone about it.
12. Anything else? Last words?
I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. But you will come out of this stronger. You WILL get through this.
