IVF Interviews (cont.): Sam

Sam lives in Florida, and is one of my dearest friends. We lived together in Seattle in our early 20s…I have such lovely memories of that time. Sam went through the whole infertility/IVF thing before me, and she’s the one I turned to for advice, the best of which was to research clinics and pick the one with the best success rates. I wouldn't have thought of doing that, and even though I haven’t gotten pregnant yet, at least I have the peace of mind that I’m at one of the best possible clinics and thus doing everything I possibly can to make this thing work.

Sam jokes that she was on the “buy one, get one free” plan, as she had a son via IVF, and then a few years later got pregnant naturally with her beautiful daughter, who was born just days ago. She is so amazing with her kids, too…they are lucky little ones.

Thanks, Sam, for doing this interview, and I can’t wait to come to Florida to meet your gorgeous girl! So happy for you! XOXO

1.    Hi Sam! Briefly, give us an idea of what you went through with your fertility issues. (How many years you tried to get pregnant, the sorts of procedures you underwent, etc.)

At age 31 we decided to start trying to conceive. After 6 months we started to worry and went to my obgyn for help. He started us on clomid, upped the dose here and there to no avail. We decided to go see an RE to search for other interventions. We did 2 rounds of inseminations and then were sucessful with our first IVF cycle.

2.    How did you pick your clinic?

I did initial research online and found the best way to pick a clinic by searching CDC website for fertility clinic success rates. We ended up choosing the clinic that had the highest IVF success rates within our area. The RE was an amazing scientist with absolutely no personality or bedside manner but we didnt let that bother us because we knew he knew his science!

3.    How did you stay sane through the process?

I am a pretty positive person but through this process...from the beginning I had so many letdowns that I went into the clinic not expecting it to work. Therefore I wouldnt be so disappointed when it didn't. After all.....40% success rates didnt sound so great to me, but we had to try!

4.    What did you do as far as being good to yourself?

It was hard with so much failure...but I just tried to go about business as usual. Not get weary of all the long 2 hour drives back and forth to the clinic in Orlando. I promised myself not to complain and hopefully I would get my wish.

5.    Was it hard on your marriage? How did you keep your marriage intact/strong?

We did pretty well. I didn't have too many mood swings or get too upset. My husband was very supportive and involved. We tried to keep things light and comical to stay sane through the process. Telling the stories to close freinds about the process can be funny from the guy's perspective if you catch my drift!

6.    Ugh…the two week wait. How did you deal? Did you use home pregnancy tests?

I absolutely peed on a stick on day 10. I'm not one for surprises and couldn't wait. Luckily it was good news for us! The wait was definitely hard though....I tried to put it out of my mind.

7.    Having been through it, what would you do differently?

Maybe I would not have rushed into the big guns so soon. Maybe I would have tried more stress-reducing techniques...more yoga....meditation....prior to going for IVF. I truly think my infertility was stress based. i was only 35....I could have given it a little more time to try to make it happen naturally.

8.    What’s it like when it’s all over?

The pregnancy was fine but the medical field deems IVF as a high risk pregnancy which bothered me a bit. I would have liked to just been a "regular pregnant chick." But the medical field made me feel at risk and unsafe... But in the end it was worth it all! My son is wonderful.

9.    How has this process changed you?

i am very appreciative of my ability to conceive and my child. He is my world and I feel so fortunate to have him.

10. Has there been anything positive associated with this experience (besides the obvious)?

Again...being ever thankful for the little things in life. Also....somehow I managed to get pregnant 4 years later the old fashioned way! I just had my daughter Uma a couple weeks ago. Amazing gift!

11. What would you tell someone currently in the middle of it?

Keep your chin up, know that there is always another option after this one if it doesn't go the way you hope. Know your limits both financially and emotionally and stick to them. Stay close to your partner and support each other.

12. Anything else? Last words?

I wish everyone going through infertility to achieve their dreams. i know a lot of people who have been through it and most of them have been succesful. Be positive and realistic of your goal. Yet, make sure you have a safety net if things don't go the way you'd like them to go.