IVF Interviews (cont.): Lindsay

Today we have Lindsay, who had a son a few years ago via IVF and is currently pregnant twins (also conceived via IVF)! Yay!

I wanted to include her because I was so moved by her twins’ ultrasound when I saw it on her blog…it’s the first ultrasound I’d ever seen of twins, and I just loved seeing them snuggled side by side. Not sure what my fascination with twins is…maybe it’s because I’m so incredibly close to my siblings…I love the thought of two babies spending their first nine months together…the bond that results from that must be incredible.

You can check out Lindsay’s blog--and her gorgeous ultrasound pictures--HERE.

Thanks, Lindsay, for participating in my little project! :)

1.    Hi Lindsay! Briefly, give us an idea of what you went through with your fertility issues. (How many years you tried to get pregnant, the sorts of procedures you underwent, etc.)

We started trying to get pregnant in May 2005, I was 28 my husband was 30. After about 8 months of trying to conceive we found out we were dealing with male factor--low count, low motility and low morphology. In April 2006 we met with an RE and decided our best option was IVF/ICSI. We did our first IVF cycle in May 2006. It failed miserably. I responded great--lots of mature eggs but bad fertilzation rates (30%), the embryos weren't great quality and were slow growing. The cycle was negative and it was devastating. Our RE thought it was a fluke and we would try again and not change anything. The second cycle was in July 2006--and identical to the first. Same bad fertilization rate! We were devastated once again. Our regroup with our RE was not hopeful, he was recommending donor eggs or sperm and had no solutions to help us and didn't think any changes would make a difference. 

We weren't going to give up and knew we needed a change. I had already set up consults with other clinics before this cycle even failed, I had a feeling we'd get the same bad results. We consulted with CCRM in Colorado and another local clinic. We decided to stay locally. The new RE was very optimistic for us and made a little change to our protocol. We got much better results. Not an amazing fertilization rate--but much better for us (60%)! The embryos grew beautifully and we transferred 3 on day 3. Our RE was very optimistic. I got my first BFP ever and had our son in Aug 2007.

2 years later we were ready to try for a sibling for our son. It was much more of a struggle than I ever expected. We had two heartbreaking miscarriages--one with a frozen cycle from left over embryos from our son's cycle and then another from a new fresh cycle. I consulted with CCRM after the second miscarriage, but decided to stay local again. We did another fresh cycle and added PGD this time (biopsied embryos on day 3 and did a fresh transfer on day 5). But it was a BFN! We finally took the plunge and went to CCRM for our last try for another child. Our embryos did grow much better and we did CCS testing. We transferred 2 normals in Oct 2010 and I am currently 18wks pregnant with twins!

2. How did you pick your clinic? 

The first two cycles were at the same clinic....I just picked the clinic nearest our home. Very minimal research done about diffferent clinics. Big mistake! Second clinic I had done more research and found the best clinic in our local area. We did get much better results and got our son! We stayed with this clinic to try for a sibling figuring we'd have success once again. But after 2 miscarriages and another BFN, we decided to go to the best clinic in the US--CCRM.

3.    How did you stay sane through the process?

I always had another plan in place. Constantly searching the fertility boards looking for answers after our failures or miscarriages. Not sure if this kept me sane (I was obsessed), but research and planning got me through it and helped me find the clinics where I found success. Also found lots of hope through reading success stories of those who had similar failures. During the really tough times I did not go to baby showers or attend parties where there were lots of  friends with new babies. I could not handle it! I had to isolate myself somewhat to stay sane!

4.    What did you do as far as being good to yourself? 

Treat myself now and then--retail therapy :) Take a vacation with my husband.

5.    Was it hard on your marriage? How did you keep your marriage intact/strong? 

We grew stronger through our struggle. I'm so proud of how we've worked through it together.

6.    Ugh…the two week wait. How did you deal? Did you use home pregnancy tests? 

Yes, the 2WW is the worst. One moment thinking so positive that this has to work, the next feeling so doomed and scared. Up and down, up and down. Analyzing every symptom. Ughh!

First and second cycles I used home pregnancy tests the last couple days of the 2WW--both stark white BFNs. At least I was prepared for that phone call :( But my husband thinks I should have waited until the last day to do the HPTs. For our third cycle I took my husband's advice and waited until beta day to do the HPT and got my first positive ever!!! It was surreal!! I recommend at least waiting until 12dpo to start using an HPT and using a very sensitive test like FRER (first response early result). I made the mistake of starting at 10 or 11dpo for one of my cycles and it was stark white. I was soooo devastated, it ended up positive. I thought I could handle seeing a negative knowing it was too early, but it was much more upsetting than I expected.

7. Having been through it, what would you do differently?

I would have done more research about IVF clinics to start, I just went to the closest one to our house for our first cycle!! Knowing what I know now--I'd go to the best clinic in the US from the beginning!!! CCRM! It is amazing...just look at their statistics. It's not worth all the heartache--do it right the first time!

8.    What’s it like when the getting pregnant part of the process is over? 

It was so nice to take a break from it all! For our first pregnancy it was just so nice to finally be pregnant and I didn't have a lot of worries about losing the pregnancy (since I did not have a history of miscarriage at that point). I did worry, but just like any other pregnant woman. With this pregnancy it has been a little more worrisome with the history of 2 miscarriages, but now that I'm almost 19 weeks I'm relaxing more. It is a very exhausting  and stressful process--emotionally, physically and financially. It will be so nice when our last two little ones comes and we are DONE with this process forever! Our family is complete.

9. How has this process changed you? 

I've become a stronger person. There have been very difficult times of deep saddness and hopelessness. I'm proud of how I've made it through this. I'm hopeful I can make it through any struggle in life.

10. Has there been anything positive associated with this experience (besides the obvious)? 

Besides the obvious :) My husband and I have been very open about our fertility struggles. We've had the opportunity to support and help other couples having trouble conceiving or going throught the IVF process. Being able to help others has brought some purpose to our struggle. 

11. What would you tell someone currently in the middle of it?

It can work! I remember being in disbelief that this process can actually work for us. It always seemed to happen to everyone else, not us. Don't give up if it does fail, a change in a clinic or protocol can make a huge difference.