Good OB Appointment Today...And a Little "Babymoon!" :)

Ocean Springs, Mississippi...supposed to be a cool little arts community...I'm excited to check it out...

Hi Everyone!

So everything went just fine at my OB appointment this morning...yay! Last visit my OB said I could have a scan and find out the sexes at 20 weeks, which is in two weeks...today she was saying she didn't need to see me again until 22 weeks, but I begged and pleaded and she relented and said 20 weeks would work. I'm just so excited to find out the sex of the babies and I've had 20 weeks in my mind for the past month...really didn't want to wait any longer. Plus we wanted to know before Thanksgiving because the whole family is going to be at our house and we wanted to share the news (although my brother and dad don't want to know...want to be surprised at the birth...not sure how we're going to work that exactly but we're going to try.)

And...my husband and I are going on a little trip next week and I am so ridiculously excited! For years and years I have traveled a huge amount for both work and pleasure (100 to 150 days/year)...it's been really different to be staying home for the most part with this pregnancy and while it's been nice, travel feels so much more like my normal state of being. My husband has a job interview gulf coast Mississippi and I'm going to tag along. It's on the beach and not far from New Orleans, so it could be cool. (My husband is graduating next May and we may be moving for work for him...everything is so up in the air right now...anything could happen [including staying where we are] so just not that worried about it at the moment). Next weekend is also my husband's birthday, and I have cool hotels booked (in Ocean Springs, MS and Mobile AL, which is where we're flying in and out of)...I just think it's going to be fun to drive around and explore a new place, go to the beach, out for some nice meals, just have a little vacation, you know? It's just a long weekend, but it's going to be sooooooo cool! And this is probably the last time I'll be able to fly before the babies are born (I'm a little on the fence about flying even now, but my doctor says it's fine and I'm going to be really careful to stay hydrated and rest, etc.)

Anyone know that area and have any suggestions on places to eat/things to do etc.?

XOXO

Image Credit: city-data.com.

11 Week 5 Day Ultrasound: It’s Over

My worst fear in being pregnant has been a missed miscarriage, which is where you’ve lost the baby but don’t know it. I haven’t talked about it, because in a weird way I thought doing so might make it happen.

Well, it’s happened anyway.

No heartbeat today at our OB appointment, and our baby hasn’t grown much beyond the 8 week ultrasound we had where everything was totally fine.

I had some scary stuff happen last week (which I’ll talk about at some point), but before that nothing, and after that I convinced myself that everything was going to be OK because I still felt so pregnant. My fertility clinic now says the placenta’s still in there making hormones, which explains why I’ve still felt like everything was going along as planned.

D&C tomorrow.

We are pretty much just numb at this point.

Ugh.

Oh, and PS, yesterday our dog Newton chewed the baby sweater I was knitting to shreds…the needle that was in the knitting is now in 10 pieces. My husband and I have been joking that the dog was trying to let us know.

And PPS, I can’t believe I missed the entire snowboarding season for nothing. My brother said he’ll meet me, though, if something (A Basin?) is still open once I’m recovered from the D&C. Bless him.

We’ll be doing a frozen transfer as soon as we can. Need to be nice to ourselves in the meantime.

Oh, and I know this post sounds kind of flippant and devoid of emotion…the shock and grief and anger are coming, I’m sure. Right now I just can’t believe this is happening.

A Day Full of Emotion

Bianca, the Jeep that I've had for 9 years. Decals, top to bottom: San Francisco Russian Hill parking permit, Channel Islands Surfboards sticker, my Santa Cruz parking permit for when I was down there surfing all the time. Hope you find a happy new home, Bianca!

Wow. A little too much for a girl to handle in one day. (Especially a morning sick one on the verge of throwing up all day.)

First, my OB. I had my first "real" OB appointment scheduled for today (vs my checks for the IVF clinic). This should be a happy, exciting appointment, but my OB died a few days ago, and are there ever a lot of tears in that office. My OB's nurse, who I absolutely adore, walked into the waiting room at the same time I did and we hugged and both started crying...this is before even checking in. This nurse is probably the work person most affected by what's happened--certainly the one whose day-to-day life is most disrupted. I feel terrible for her. And I'm sad because she's not going to be able to be my nurse anymore, as I'll be transitioned to another doctor in the practice. I love her and really wanted her to be with me through all the baby stuff, after helping so much with all the infertility stuff over the years. Emotional morning.

Then, OMG, we bought a new car! Big enough for a baby or two! Which is awesome! Yay!

BUT, I had to trade in my little Jeep Wrangler...I loved that car so much, I bought that car back when I was surfing every day and it's been up and down the California coast a zillion times, plus surf trips to Baja, and back and forth to Colorado. And my dad taught me how to 4-wheel in that Jeep, and not wimpy girl stuff either. Plus trips to Moab, and up and down the mountain to snowboard...I've got so many, many great memories in that car.

I almost started crying at the dealership. Why do people (or anyway, me) get so attached to cars? 

"You don't feel this way about your computer, do you?" my husband asked.

"No, not at all," I said.

"Think of it this way," my husband said. "Your Jeep's expanding with your waistline" (we got a new, bigger Jeep.)

Which made me laugh.

We're going to make lots of happy memories in this new Jeep, too. :)