Kremmling and Rabbit Ears Pass
Hi Everyone!
Wanted to share a few photos today of my weekend trip with my brother. We met in Dillon, CO, and then drove to Kremmling, which is a tiny town to the north. There we took a walk around town, had Mexican food, hung out and got an early night's sleep.
Clockwise from above left: A fiberglass elk in front of one of the businesses, an old snowmobile on top of another, a cool old motel sign...love it.
Got up at 5:30 AM the next morning, dressed, had a quick breakfast at a cafe where they also made us sandwiches to go for lunch and got on the road.
Here's (above) a picture of Miss Leah, my brother's dog. My BFF gave Leah her pink sparkle collar...love that my brother still lets her wear it...it's so opposite what he would have picked for her.
No snow in Kremmling, but TONS at the top of Rabbit Ears Pass, where we went to snowmobile and snowboard. Top photo: The "rabbit ears" Rabbit Ears Pass is named for. Bottom photo: The snow we drove out into on our snowmobiles from the parking lot. Incredible amounts of snow up there.
Had never snowmobiled before...it's fun. And exhausting...tons of work to keep the machine where you want it to go. Early morning we found a great little hill my brother rode me to the top of and I snowboarded down. About 3 inches of powder and then kind of a crispy layer under that...but what can you expect at the end of April, right? But it was just me on the mountain so fresh tracks every run. By 10 AM the snow was not really worth boarding in it was so wet and sticky. So we rode around on the snowmobiles/dug out the snowmobile I got stuck over and over (hey, I was learning).
Super fun day. So incredibly happy I have a brother to go on little adventures with. Thanks Ben!
XOXO
A Little Break From All This...
An old friend of mine is visiting, which has been wonderful...took the day off yesterday and had fun running around town.
And today I'm headed up to the mountains to meet my brother. I know, I know, it's late April and not exactly snowboarding season, but I was so sad I didn't get to go this year, and for nothing with the miscarriage. It's going to be great to get out at least once. It's raining here so there should be snow in the mountains.
Back Monday...
Photo Credit: arielmatzuk.
Dreams of the Dead, and Is a Baby Going to Help This Situation?
I've written a little here about my brother's death, but not much. Mostly because the pain of it is still so close to the surface, even almost six years after the fact. (Kind of an unusual situation: we were living together/spending all our time together when he died.) My guess is I'll be writing a bit more about him over the the next month or so...his death was in April and this time of year that's where my thoughts seem to go.
I've had two dreams about my brother since he died--one many years ago, one last night. In both dreams, he was dead. The first one I don't even want to go into...the one last night he and my other brother, who is still alive, died by 4-wheeling way out into the desert where no one could find them, freezing to death (my brother who died actually died in a motorcycle accident).
Lots of people I know dream about my dead brother, and in their dreams, he is alive. My best friend had the following exchange with my brother in a dream:
Friend to brother: "Luke! Why don't you go visit your sister!" (My friend--his friend first--always used to boss him around; he loved it.)
Brother: "Nah, she's too sad."
I wonder if when I truly start to feel better if my brother will come to me in dreams. I really am doing so much better...the first few years after his death I was totally paralyzed...I'm not so much that way anymore...but the pain's still there and it's still very raw.
And I wonder: is this baby we're expecting going to help heal me? Will life and rebirth and joy in my life for once crowd out some of the death and isolation and grief?
Will I ever be healed enough to dream of Luke alive? I pray that will be the case.