The Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta Was AMAZING

Hi Everyone! Happy Tuesday!

A couple weeks ago was the 10-day Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. This is our first year in the city, and I wasn't really sure what to expect.

Our first time out was Wednesday morning, early. I expected the balloons to be cool, but it was so much more than I thought. Pictures don't really do it justice...there are so many balloons that launch over a couple hours and you get to be right there...I mean, you can reach out and touch the balloons. The cold air and the hiss of the fires that go on and off filling the balloons with hot air and the warmth from that fire when you get near, how everyone near claps and cheers when a balloon leaves the ground...t was one of those times I was happy to be alive, to be part of what was happening...where there was just this delight in the world and that's not something I feel very often (aside from in relation to my kids, where that wonder is there every day).

Love these pictures below of my kids, too...some of my favorite ever, with the early morning light and the wonder on their faces...

These three bees were my favorite...they all launched together, too, looked like they were holding hands as they ascended...

And off the subject a little bit...I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but somebody told me once that spots like those in the pictures below are spirits trying to make themselves visible. I'm sure there's a perfectly logical (non-paranormal) technical reason for why these spots appear, but I love it when my pictures have them...like the two in the pictures below...I like to think my brother Luke and our baby Hunter were there with us that morning...

The other time we went was Friday evening, with my parents.

In the mornings they launch the balloons, in the evenings, they have "glows," where the balloons stay on the ground but inflate and light up.

Here's "Spider Pig" ("Spider Ham,") inflated and you can see how the balloons light up (they light on and off with the fire, not constant) as the sky gets dark:

And right in front of us a balloon team came in and unfurled the balloon...we had no idea what it would be as it lay on the ground and then started to inflate...

The next thing we knew, this guy was towering over us:

The bees going up at the glow...

Our two days there were a good introduction. Next year I want to:

• Go again to the Special Shapes launch (which we did on the Wednesday) but get there EARLY...like 5:30 AM-ish to watch the test balloons ascend in the dark and experience more of the morning. A thermos of hot coffee would also be nice
• And I would love to do another evening glow, but we can get there later than we did this time, and it would be nice to pack a picnic, and also to plan to stay for the fireworks...

Bottom line: the Balloon Fiesta is SO COOL. If it's something you've thought about doing, do it. It far exceeded my expectations and I can't wait to go again.

XOXO

"All the pleasures of Autumn..."

"...all the pleasures of autumn--hiking under deep blue skies...and the chance for a few last dips in the pool..."

--Vogue, September 2013

Fall is my favorite time of year in the West. Things are going OK around here...trying to focus on the good, as always.

XOXO

2011: A Look Back

Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!

Hope you all have great New Year's Eve plans! We're laying low, which is fine. Unless we're traveling, I'm not a huge one for New Year's Eve, pregnant or not.

Like most everyone else, the end of the year is always kind of a reflective time for me. Thought I'd share some of what I've been thinking about:

January

We took a belated three-week honeymoon to Europe the end of 2010/beginning of 2011...spent New Year's in Prague (amazing...would do it again in a heartbeat) and the first few days of the year in Venice:

As soon as we got home, we got word that my husband's dad was very sick...we went straight to Las Vegas to be with him, and he died a week later. So hard, but I'm so glad we got that time together.

And then, straight to Denver for IVF #4.

February

The transfer for IVF #4 happened in February...AND we got a BPF! A good solid one, too...all my previous ones had been iffy and ended up being chemical pregnancies. We were so excited!

Didn't feel too bad for the first few weeks, and did some nice easy walks in the Colorado National Monument, which is super close to our house:

March

I was sick, sick, sick with the pregnancy.

We went to Vegas again to see and help my husband's mom. 

Spring started to arrive:

April

We lost our baby, a girl, at 11 weeks 5 days...so close to being out of the first trimester and "safe." It was devastating, but my husband and I were so sweet and loving and supportive of each other. We lay on the couch in the evenings and drank wine and talked and cried. And then when we couldn't cry anymore we watched episodes of "Wipeout" which is the most ridiculous TV show ever...have never watched before or since but somehow the stupidness and silliness was what we needed.

Family and friends were wonderful, too.

And got back to being active, with one quick weekend snowboarding trip with my brother (we took his snowmobiles out into the backcountry...he'd run me up a hill and I'd snowboard down). So fun even though the snow sucked as it was so late in the season.

I also started hiking, including an incredible day trip to Moab with my mom and dad.

One of the places I went a lot in those first few weeks after the miscarriage was Holy Cross trail. When I first moved to the area, I'd stumbled on this cross. Didn't learn until years later that I knew the woman who'd brought it into being, and it was for her lost child:

May

Tried to get my body ready for an FET...the D&C wasn't complete...another trip to Denver and our clinic was needed.

Worked hard to recover physically and emotionally from the miscarriage.

Life went on as normal for the cows across the street from my parents:

June

An absolutely lovely hiking trip with my Dad in Utah. We take a trip together every year...it is just the best:

And more "finishing the miscarriage" shenanigans and another trip to our Denver clinic.

And the start of our summer vacation, driving to the West coast to camp and hang out with tons of friends...so fun and exactly what we needed.

July

Summer vacation continued...from the start: Highway 50 through Nevada on the way out, California, Oregon, Washington, Vancouver, Salt Lake City on the way home. It was lovely. Here's my husband and I at a BBQ with my BFF, Lake Washington, Seattle:

We also went to Santa Barbara for a long weekend to attend a gorgeous wedding, and again got to spend time with lots of freinds...so wonderful.

And...back to Denver for the FET...stayed with my brother which is always great...had my birthday 2 days before the transfer, and on the last day of the month...another BFP! Yay!

August

Did a short camping trip with my brother, but for the most part sick, sick, sick. 

Learned we had twins!

My mother's organic garden was going crazy...

September

Camped again, this time with my whole family:

Still sick, but all was going well.

October

A fun trip to Denver to celebrate our anniversary.

Other than that, laying low with the pregnancy.

The first snow up in the mountains was so pretty (this is at my brother's house, where he and I and my brother who died grew up):

November 

Went with my husband to Mobile, AL and gulf coast Mississippi to check out a potential job. We celebrated his birthday while we were there...so fun, although traveling wasn't all that easy...

And later in the month, Thanksgiving at our house with lots of people. My husband and his mom did all the cooking! :)

December

Holidays at my brother's up in the Colorado mountains. Here's our boxer Newton playing in the snow:

My pregnancy at 25 weeks is still going strong! :)

So, all in all, a heartbreaking year with the loss of my father-in-law and our unborn baby. A year consumed with doctor visits. Lots and lots of travel (which probably won't happen again for some time). Lots of time with freinds and family. And the most joyous year ever, in that we are so close to bringing home two real, live babies--something I wasn't sure would ever happen for me.

A roller coaster year.

Praying that everything--two healthy babies, graduation for my husband and hopefully a good job offer, a possible move to we're not sure where--will go our way in 2012, which should be a year filled with happiness, but will also probably contain a number of huge transitions.

Happy New Year to you all! Blogging has brought me such joy this year--and your presence has been central to that. Thank you for being here, and looking forward to sharing all that will be 2012.

XOXO

Kristen

Grace in Small Things, December 7, 2011

Today's the first day it's really feeling like Christmas is coming. Love this time of year...

1. Really slow work week for me...took advantage of that fact and spent the day at my mom's sewing receiving blankets for the babies (we have a few more to do...will post pictures when we're done). They're turing out so cute and things go so fast with my mom and I working together. Plus whenever I use the blankets, I can think back to the day we made them together and how lovely it was...

2. About to head home to meet my husband for dinner, but as I sit here typing the sky is tinged light pink from the sunset, my parent's Christmas tree is in front of me sparkling with multi-colored lights, my mom is playing the most lovely melody on the piano...it's so beautiful...all's right with the world...

3. When I have lunch at my parents' (once a week or so) we almost always play a game called Upwords (like Scrabble, but 3D). My parents play against each other every day and are really, really good. But today I won for the first time! Yay! :)

4. We're having a co-ed baby shower over in Denver in the New Year. My dad originally scoffed at the idea of attending a baby shower ("Never been to one, see no reason to start now."), but today he said he'd come, which makes me sooooooo happy.

5. Our younger dog, Newton, broke his toenail a week or so ago. Last weekend, my husband and I took him to the dog park where the little pond they have full in the summer was dried up...except they had pushed all the silt that had accumulated to one side, and wouldn't you know it, both our dogs ran into the chest deep mud and muck. It was worth the pain of having to clean them just for how funny it was to watch them try to extract themselves...it was like they were stuck in quicksand...I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. But Newton's foot got infected, which prompted a trip today to the nicest vet ever (Dr. Bob's his name, big, burly ex-football player and mostly a horse doctor but he sees dogs now and again). Anyway, I'm just grateful it's nothing a few antibiotics won't cure, you know?

XOXO

Image Credit: HikingArtist.com.

Grace in Small Things, October 10, 2011

Snow at my brother's, southwest of Denver. He lives where we grew up...so cool...

Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!

I'll be doing my usual weekly pregnancy post tomorrow...today there's a lot of good things I want to share! :) I usually list small happinesses here, but some of today's are big:

1. Spent the night at my brother's Friday night (he lives in the foothills outside of Denver), and woke Saturday morning to snow. And I wasn't expecting it at all. I felt like a little kid...delighted...it was magical

2. My parents had two dogs, Jack and Comic. Comic died a short time ago, from a freak illness, which made my parents sooooo sad, but they kept saying, "At least we have Jack."

Well, they went on vacation and left Jack with my brother (who is amazing with dogs, by the way). About a week ago, Jack went missing. And he wasn't wearing a collar/any ID. My brother spent so much time last week, and my husband and I helped this weekend searching for him...ads online and in newspapers, flyers posted all over the place, checking the shelters, going door-to-door looking for him, etc., etc., etc. No luck.

It hit me hard when we checked into our Denver hotel Saturday...we were planning to have Jack with us as we were going to bring him home with us when we came back (we live near my parents, my brother is about 4 hours away from us). The hotel is super dog friendly and had a little chalkboard that said, "Welcome, Jack!" and a dog bed and dog dishes and treats in the room. But we had no dog to check in with. I was feeling so sad. I just couldn't imagine my parents losing BOTH their dogs in such a short time, you know? 

But today--finally--Jack has been found! Don't know the details, but so, so, so happy about that news! :)

(By the way, if you want to make yourself sad, go check out the lost-and-found rooms at your local animal shelter. So many, many sweet, hopeful dogs looking up at you and wagging their tails as you walk by...I hope most of them get found...)

3. Closed down a hip Denver restaurant with good friends of ours on Saturday night (after visiting the coolest little bar [I am of course drinking non-alcoholic beer and water these days, just FYI])...you know it's been a fun night when you suddenly notice it's just you and the wait staff (we left a big tip, BTW).

4. Foo Fighters Denver show last night. Absolutely lived up to my hopes for it (and my hopes were BIG). What an awesome night. They played until almost midnight and there was so much good energy, the crowd was great, the band was great, they played every song but one that I wanted to hear (and that one's pretty obscure, so not surprising). Made me so happy. 

5. Have I mentioned I'm feeling better?!? It's like I was living in black-and-white and the whole world is now Technicolor. I didn't realize how much I was struggling, how down I was feeling just because I was so sick 24/7. Not being sick like that has had a HUGE impact on my mood, how I'm feeling about being pregnant, and I'm feeling like I can handle actual babies (it's hard to picture being any good as a mother when you can barely get out of bed.) I'll talk more about the medication I'm on tomorrow, but bottom line is it has made such a HUGE difference...

Hope everyone has a lovely week!

XOXO

P.S. Courtney, I promise to post pictures of the aspens sometime this week. :)

Dinosaur Triple Threat

So my husband runs around acting like a 5-year-old sometimes (part of why I love him, and why I want to have kids with him so bad). One of the acting-like-a-5-year-old things he does we call the Dinosaur Pounce. He'll stand outside the closed bathroom door while I'm taking a shower, with his hands up close to his face like little T-Rex arms, and then when I open the door he'll jump on me, making me scream or laugh, depending on how surprised I am. It's sweet. He's not doing it while I'm pregnant because he figures startling me is not a good idea. I miss it.

This morning, my husband was up uncharateristically early (he usually studies late and sleeps late). He came into the kitchen while I was making toast for breakfast and said, "Nope, you need protein," and pulled out eggs and sausage and cheese and poured me a big glass of milk...made me this great breakfast which we then sat on the couch side-by-side eating.

During breakfast, I could not stop laughing. From my husband having staring contests with the dog (the dog is surprisingly good at not blinking first) to him trying to get me to eat more of my breakfast by piling it on the toast and giving it a funny name--he's just so incredibly funny and sweet. 

"I can't wait until the babies are here," I said. "You're going to have us all laughing 24/7."

"Yeah," he said. "But you're also going to have to put up with the Dinosaur Triple Threat for the rest of your life."

I know exactly what he's talking about: Him, outside the bathroom door, a little kid on each side, all 3 with their hands in T-Rex pounce position, all 3 trying not to laugh so that when mommy comes out after her shower they can pounce and surprise her. I'm sure the louder I scream, the more satisfying it's going to be.

Seriously, how lucky am I?

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Thanks so much for spending some time here this week.

XOXO

Image Credit: happyfamily via Etsy.

A New Friend, Italian Food and the Sublime James McMurtry

An almost-full moon rising over the hills outside Paonia, Colorado.

So part of my strategy for dealing with the endless waiting associated with IVF is to plan some fun things vs spending all my time moping around the house. Last night, as part of that, we went to Hotchkiss and Paonia.

Hotchkiss was to visit with a new fried of ours (a lovely woman my husband met in film class last semester)...she lives in a little cottage with a view of mountains and sky, a wooden fence carved out in twigs and birds, a huge screened-in porch out back and a tiny cabin on the other side of a lush green lawn that if I lived there I'd turn into a writing studio. Plus the whole house is furnished with one-of-a-kind vintage everything, photographs, the picture she's currently painting on a easel...she had snacks for us and glasses of wine for my husband and it was lovely to be in her presence.

After, we drove the short distance to Paonia, which is a little hippie town at the base of the mountains that go up to Aspen. We had Italian food in an outdoor garden with hollyhocks and a burbling fountain, nicoise olives as dusk fell and then we went to the tiny Paradise Theater to see James McMurtry, whose music I've loved since I spent a couple years in Austin, Texas back in the '90s. He was at his best when it was just him and his red acoustic guitar, singing "Ruby and Carlos"...the whole place was just spellbound:

"Holding back the flood, just don't do no good

You can't unclench your teeth, to howl the way you should

So curl your lips around the taste of tears and hollow sounds

Than no one owns but you, no one owns but you."

There's so much pain in the world.

And so much beauty, too.

Santa Barbara Wedding Weekend!

Happy Monday, Everyone!

I'm happy to report that Santa Barbara was fun, fun, fun! (More later on how the pain I've felt being there in the past just slipped away.) A few pictures for you:

1) Our room at the fabulous Presido Motel, with funky stencils on the wall and colorful paper cranes hanging from the vaulted ceiling. If I ever open up a motel, I want it to be like this.

2) Me on the beach at Miramar...not a surf beach, but one of my favorite places to take dogs to run in the sand and splash in the surf.

3) A mosaic mural at Hendry's.

4) These houses right at water's edge...what a dream it would be to live like this...

5) Our absolutely gorgeous bride and her father at the wedding rehearsal. Love the dress, Jules...you look amazing! :)

6) The wedding was held in Alice Keck Park...so lush and green...it was absolutely perfect.

7) Our friends Dave and Mel after brunch the morning of the wedding.

8) The bride and groom at their reception, Carr Winery.

Such a fun, sunny, happy trip.

Hope everyone has a fabulous week!

XOXO

Hiking in Moab, UT

Happy Monday, Everyone!

Today I wanted to share a few pictures from Moab, UT, where my parents and I went hiking on Friday. Friday was the anniversary of my brother's death, and has traditionally been a really tough day for me (although this year it wasn't too bad...a few days before was much worse.)

Anyway, I don't know what to do with painful days except to try to go and make some good memories with the people you love who are still alive, so off to Moab we went.

First was Arches National Park, which I've been to a number of time. I think Delicate Arch is one of the most beautiful things on the planet, so we went there.

Photos, clockwise from left: My parents on the trail up to Delicate Arch; a cool old, old, old tree on the side of the trail, Delicate Arch with me (tiny, tiny) at the base.

After Delicate Arch, we got lunch in Moab at the Moab Diner. There was a car show in town (actually starting Saturday), but I got a few pictures of cars on the street. Love the colors on old cars, and their logos...kind of along the same lines as my obsession with old hotel signs.

And then in the afternoon, we went hiking again just outside of Moab in Negro Bill's Canyon,  where I'd never been. There's a beautiful stream that runs through, which is unusual in this part of the world. And at the end of the trail is this unbelievable arch...it's hard to show in pictures...imagine a huge arching rainbow overhead.

Photos, clockwise from left: Me at the base of the arch (and source of the stream); the stream meandering through the canyon; the arch from below.

All in all a lovely day.

Hope everyone's week is fabulous!

XO

Kremmling and Rabbit Ears Pass

Hi Everyone!

Wanted to share a few photos today of my weekend trip with my brother. We met in Dillon, CO, and then drove to Kremmling, which is a tiny town to the north. There we took a walk around town, had Mexican food, hung out and got an early night's sleep.

Clockwise from above left: A fiberglass elk in front of one of the businesses, an old snowmobile on top of another, a cool old motel sign...love it.

Got up at 5:30 AM the next morning, dressed, had a quick breakfast at a cafe where they also made us sandwiches to go for lunch and got on the road. 

Here's (above) a picture of Miss Leah, my brother's dog. My BFF gave Leah her pink sparkle collar...love that my brother still lets her wear it...it's so opposite what he would have picked for her.

No snow in Kremmling, but TONS at the top of Rabbit Ears Pass, where we went to snowmobile and snowboard. Top photo: The "rabbit ears" Rabbit Ears Pass is named for. Bottom photo: The snow we drove out into on our snowmobiles from the parking lot. Incredible amounts of snow up there.

Had never snowmobiled before...it's fun. And exhausting...tons of work to keep the machine where you want it to go. Early morning we found a great little hill my brother rode me to the top of and I snowboarded down. About 3 inches of powder and then kind of a crispy layer under that...but what can you expect at the end of April, right? But it was just me on the mountain so fresh tracks every run. By 10 AM the snow was not really worth boarding in it was so wet and sticky. So we rode around on the snowmobiles/dug out the snowmobile I got stuck over and over (hey, I was learning).

Super fun day. So incredibly happy I have a brother to go on little adventures with. Thanks Ben! 

XOXO

Prague, Day 15 (New Year's Eve)

The entrance to Prague Castle. Not very welcoming in my opinion, with statues of things being bludgeoned and stabbed.

The cathedral behind the castle. Spectacular.

Changing of the guard.

1. Feeling 10,000 times better today
2. Walked across the Charles Bridge, through the Little Quarter with its hilly windy cobblestone streets, up to the Prague Castle on the top of the hill. So old and beautiful...so much history here. There are violent statues at the front gates, people about to be clubbed and stabbed. I guess they want to send the message that you don't want to mess with this castle
3. Noon everyday at the castle they have the changing of the guards, with maybe 50 guards and a band, quite a lengthy ceremony. The uniforms are cool, gray pants with a darker grey stripe down the side, long dark blue jacket with gold buttons, silverly fur collars and big silver fur hats
4. Hordes and hordes and hordes of tourists in Prague. It's a little overwhelming
5. New Year's Eve in Prague: pretty unbelievable. First, a yummy, quite fancy meal at a restaurant called Phenix, right next to our hotel. There's a cool old silver metal spiral staircase in the back with a four leaf clover pattern stamped into it, so cool. Then we had drinks at a little bar with wood and arched ceilings called the Hemmingway Bar. Eleven thirty we started to make our way to the Charles Street Bridge, and then we were on the bridge just packed with people, everyone so close that it's not even cold. At midnight the boats on the water blew their horns and everyone cheered and sang, some nice Italian women next to us gave us a glass of champagne and the fireworks...people everywhere in the crowd setting them off and then the city fireworks right above us, like you were in the middle of them, they weren't safely off in the distance like in the US, the smell of the gunpowder strong. What a great, great night. We had the best time...

A Lovely Hike Last Night

Newton at full run up on the Mesa last summer.

I used to surf pretty much every day, and one of the things I miss now that I don't do that anymore is being outside and leisurely watching the sunrises and sunsets. I love the light that time of day, the colors in the clouds, how peaceful it is to be out in it. 

I went hiking at dusk last night, and although it of course wasn't the same as being in the surf, there was so much loveliness about the evening.

It was cold but not too cold.

My two boxers were with me, and chased each other the whole time, the older one, Dexter, getting down into a crouch and stalking the little one, Newton. Around trees and bushes, over rocks they didn't stop the whole time. It was good to see their unbridled joy.

And then going up, there were three young guys mountain biking, college students, perhaps. There's a place where the trail veers off and one part is hiking and the other is mountain bike only one way pretty gnarly from what I hear. It's called "Free Lunch." We were where the trail veered at the same time, and I could hear but couldn't see them make it to the bottom, hooting and hollering the whole time, no question the fun they were having.

And then watching the sun leave the valley, and the Book Cliffs and the Mesa turn the purple they turn sometimes, pink clouds in the sky. Lovely. A great end to an insanely busy day. Happy.

Mt. Garfield, Grand Junction, Colorado

Climbed Mt. Garfield this week. A really good day, complete with my first wild horse sighting ever (white and brown pinto, possibly my favorite kind of horse) and a hawk at the summit that lingered at eye level. Happy.  

My parents on the summit.

Hawk.

Newton with his pack.