OB Update
Hi Everyone!
Had an OB appointment today...I thought they were going to measure the babies again, but my OB said she'd rather wait another week, so next week hopefully we will get some reassurance about the size.
Also went to the hospital for NTS monitoring (I think that stands for non stress test), and the nurses there said both babies are doing great. Yay! :)
In related news:
- My OB said that after another week and a half, if I go into labor they aren't going to try and stop it. That's so soon! So crazy how soon these babies are coming!
- I got my iron checked today and the levels are good
- Our local hospital is so nice...L&D is so calm and peaceful (last week I was monitored in a tiny triage room, this week in one of the normal L&D rooms and they are just so quite and relaxing and calming)
- My nurse this week explained all about the monitoring, and told me a little more about delivery...apparently because I have twins I'll deliver in the OR just in case, and there will be LOTS of people there
- She also said if I ever think I'm having contractions, or worry that the babies haven't moved a lot, or have anything that's making me uneasy to just come in and they'll hook me up to a monitor. "Come as often as you want," she said. "We're here all the time anyway, we'd way rather see you 10 times for nothing than have you not come in that one time you really should have been here."
- And, the nurse said that if I haven't been sent to see the perinatologist (and I haven't) that everything is going super smooth
So lots of good news...and I just have to assume for another week that the size differential between our babies seen last week is nothing to worry about.
Hope everyone is having a lovely Thursday!
XO
A Knitting Mishap (And Why it Doesn't Matter)
So I'm really still just learning how to knit, but I wanted to make baby sweaters for our babies to wear home from the hospital...you know, something special and handmade, so my babies would know how much they were loved.
I found a cute pattern, made one for our boy that turned out super cute, although I figured out about halfway through I was using the wrong needles. But I did calculations to make it the right size and it turned out fine. So I made one in pink for our girl, which also turned out super cute.
And then I washed them.
Carefully.
By hand.
And my cute little sweaters, they expanded to be way, way bigger...now they are all stretched out and there is no way newborns are going to fit into them. (And I've since checked with the local knit shop. There's no way to fix them.)
My husband saw me on the verge of tears, hugged me and said, "So if you knew you made the first one wrong, why did you make the second one the same?"
"Because the first one turned out cute."
"But you didn't wash it before you made the second one?"
"No. I had no idea they would do this."
Love that man, but sometimes he is just too dang logical.
Sigh.
I wanted to cry...all that time knitting...all the money for the yarn...and it's too late to make new sweaters for the babies.
But.
Babies don't need sweaters to go home from the hospital.
Just becasue they don't have them, doesn't mean I'm a bad mom.
And as long as our babies are alive and healthy, that's all that really matters. Been thinking about this especially in light of the scare with our babies last week, and because of a friend IRL and a good bloggy friend who lost their unborn babies this week...my heart is breaking for them...
Ruined sweaters really don't matter. That's one thing about having lived through crappy things (and here I'm talking about myself, not these other women)...it's a lot easier to see what's important and what's not...what's worth crying over and what's not.
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 32
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
So, today is the start of Week 33 for me. I'm hoping I have about a month left to go. Here's how the past week (Week 32) has been:
- Despite being HUGE, I'm actually enjoying this part of my pregnancy the most. No morning sickness (which for me went up until about the start of the third trimester), no heartburn (never really had much), the insomnia is way better, my hip isn't achy at all anymore, my back still hurts a little but is much better, and when it does ache a warm bath helps...this is the first time since about Week 6 I haven't been suffering physically and I am soooooo grateful
- I am getting REALLY big though. Hard to get on/off the bed, the couch, etc.
- My ankles/feet are swollen, although I'm trying to stay off my feet as much as possible (and not wear socks and shoes as much as possible...my pregnancy pics from here on out are probably going to be barefoot because not only do my shoes/socks generally not fit any longer, it's also next to impossible to put them on). Been drinking water with lemon and cucumber to combat it, which tastes yummy and hopefully is helping
- Doing fine with the whole gestational diabetes thing...my mom's been making me snacks, which has helped. I AM craving something sweet all of a sudden in the evenings (hello, lemon Girl Scout cookies!)...but the cookies I'm craving are tiny and I just have 2 with a glass of milk...not that big a deal in the big picture, I figure...everything else I'm eating is really healthy...
- Still no stretch marks (and I've honestly been bad about putting creams on my belly lately). My belly button's kind of half in half out...don't think I'm going to make it all the way with it in
- My bladder is beyond squished. Pantyliners are my new best friend. Embarrassing. Oh, and I feel like I have to pee all the time. And am up maybe 3-4 times a night to pee, but thankfully go right back to sleep
- I'm up 37 lbs from the day of transfer (which is I'm told what you should count as pregnancy weight), 52 lbs from my normal weight
- Had a little scare last week with the babies being different weights...but my doctor has said not to worry and so for the most part I'm not. Another appointment on Thursday that will hopefully be reassuring...I will report back
So all in all, everyone's happy and healthy (at least as far as we can tell). This whole labor and delivery and having actual babies at home thing is still feeling pretty abstract...I just feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever, although of course I know that's not true. Hard to wrap my head around what comes next, though, and it's not a fear thing...I think I'm just kind of feeling disbelief that I am so lucky to have this actually happening.
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XOXO
The Nursery, Episode 5: Quilts From My Mom
Hi Everyone!
First off, thanks for all your sweet comments on yesterday's post. I'm actually feeling really positive today and not scared...just really trusting that everything is going to be OK, which is so unlike me! :) But a really good place to be.
Anyway, today wanted to share with you the quilts my mom made for our babies (I helped a little, but the vast majority of the work was done by her).
Here is the one for our boy:
And our girl:
My mom gave them to me at my baby shower last weekend, and my friend's 15-year-old niece who was there said that the girl's looked like watermelon and the boy's looked like snow, which I though were really sweet and apt descriptions.
We have been VERY blessed in the handmade quilt department, with additional quilts coming from my mother-in-law, a lovely friend in Boulder (whose kids I used to babysit for when I was in college), and my BFF's mom. I'll be doing additional quilt posts in the future...the quilts are all so cute and TOTALLY different. Thank goodness we've been told you can never have too many quilts!
Anyway, I think the quilts my mom made are the cutest things I've ever seen. Can't wait until they're wrapped around real, live babies!
Thanks, Mom! :)
XOXO
The Nursery, Episode 4: Curtains
The Nursery, Episode 3: Wall Art
Scary OB Appointment/Hospital Trip
Hi Everyone!
So yesterday was the first time I went to the OB without my husband (he had some school stuff to do and everything's been so routine, it seemed like no big deal). But of course, it wasn't the quick, uneventful visit we had anticipated.
The issue: the twins, who have up until this point been roughly the same size, are now very different, with our girl at 3 lbs 5 oz and our boy at 4 lbs 12 oz. My OB sent me straight to the hospital for monitoring.
So I went, and lay in the room for a couple hours with heart rate monitors on the babies. The verdict: both twins look good on the monitoring (not sure exactly what they're looking for, but that's what the nurse said). So I got sent home and that was essentially that.
Trying really hard not to go to that place of fear, where my mind says something must be wrong. Instead trying to focus on all of the following:
- After seeing the monitoring, my OB said she's not worried and that I shouldn't worry
- My OB said the way the babies were positioned could have skewed the measurements, so they really might not be as far apart as they seem
- She also said that even if they are very different sizes, it could just be genetics
- She said both of them have grown since they were last measured, which is a good thing
- Dr. Google says average weight for a baby at 32 weeks is 3.75 lbs, so 3 lbs 12 oz...and our girl is not too far below that...and our boy...well, my husband is 6'6", so maybe he's (our baby) just going to be a big baby
- I AM scared, but my gut says things are going to be OK
Nothing to do except wait until next Thursday (my next appointment) to see how the babies are doing. That's the other thing...I'm going from monthly ultrasounds to weekly, plus hospital monitoring after every OB appointment.
Trying to stay positive, especially with all the reassurances from my doctor. Still, any potential complication is really hard for me to deal with. I just feel like I've been through so much, I don't have any reserves left to deal with anything else, you know?
Oh, and my OB called this afternoon just to see how I was, because I seemed so anxious yesterday...love her for that...
XOXO
Packing for the Hospital
Hi Everyone!
As some of you know, my husband is super organized, and likes to have things done ahead of time. One of the things he's been bugging me about is packing a bag for the hospital for when we go in for labor/delivery, so I'm trying to get that done over the next few days. Here's my list of what I think I might need...trying to keep it simple:
- 2 pillows (apparently the hospital pillows suck)
- Cherry chapstick, toothbrush/toothpaste, soap, shampoo, contact stuff, brush, nipple cream
- PJs (to hang out in instead of the hospital gown if I want)
- Robe to put over hospital gown
- Going home outfit for me (jeans, T shirt, sweater, tennis shoes...I know I'm still going to need maternity)
- Going home outfits for babies
- Lotions (recommended to help with labor)
- Massager (recommended to help with labor)
- Birthing book from hospital (has lots of information that might be useful)
- Distractions (cribbage, light reading [eg US Weekly], iPOD, journal)
- Camera
Anyone have any thoughts/suggestions?
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 31
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
So, 32 weeks pregnant today, which is a goal my OB really wanted me to reach. Of course it's better if the babies stay inside a little longer, but my OB says she breaths a sigh of relief at this point and so of course, I do too. :)
Here's how the past week has been:
- Things still don't feel real...it's still hard for me to believe this (actual real live babies) is really happening
- A lot more tired (although overall sleeping better, thought I've still had a few sleepless nights)
- My back is still bothering me, although not all the time. Again, a visit to the chiropractor helped...that has been a lifesaver for me with this pregnancy
- Feel like it's really hard to breathe, which is disturbing...makes me feel kind of claustrophobic, but trying to relax about it
- My bladder is totally getting squished, too. Plus I'm super thirsty. Both of which mean I'm up maybe 4 or 5 times a night to pee
- Had some trouble with ankle swelling this past week. My ankles aren't back to normal, but they are better. Trying to stay off my feet as much as possible. Some hand swelling too, but not as much
- Had a second, local baby shower this weekend, which was absolutely lovely. Will post about it sometime this week
- Fell again yesterday...tripped over one of my dog's paws and went down hard, no time to put out my hands to catch myself but my belly wasn't involved at all, thank goodness (fell on my knee/side). That's the second time this pregnancy I've fallen. I'm being VERY careful, especially on the stairs and getting in/out of the shower/bath
- Spent a lot of time yesterday organizing/putting away baby stuff, plus ordering/shopping for the last few items we wanted/needed (my husband went a little crazy in the fancy baby shop we have downtown...so cool to see him excited about baby stuff). My husband's really pushing to get things done, as he wants to be totally ready if the babies come early
All in all, still trying to wrap my head around what's happening. It's been so hard and so many, many years to get to this point, it's feeling totally surreal now that we are getting close to the actual birth of these babies.
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XOXO
Baby Shower #1!
Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!
Thought I'd post a few pictures and stories from my baby shower last weekend! :)
First of all, there was snow, and lots of it. We live on the Western edge of Colorado and were driving over to Denver (4 hours away) on Friday. Were a little worried about the passes, but they were no big deal. But Denver itself had this crazy storm which essentially shut the city down.
We (my husband and I, my brother, my parents, my best friend and her husband who had flown in from Seattle) spent Friday night holed up at my brother's...he lives about an hour outside of Denver up in the mountains in the house where we both grew up. It was fun to be snowed in!
Oh and two super-cool things happened on Friday: First, when I first saw my BFF, she and I were wearing the exact same sweater, which for some reason made me so happy. And second, my parents had an envelope for me, which contained a TOTALLY unexpected inheritance from my grandmother, who died last summer. What a huge surprise. We're looking at it as a gift for our babies, as we're going to place the money in their college funds.
Here are the icicles at my brother's Saturday morning:
Saturday started with light snow, but it stopped and the sun came out and the main roads all got plowed and it all worked out fine.
The shower was kind of a co-ed happy hour thing at my friend Betsy's Denver home. I know Betsy from San Francisco...we worked together at the ad agency and have worked together on and off in freelance capacities ever since. She's also a very dear friend and has been with me through a lot of this fertility stuff--from going with me to my initial diagnostic appointments, to even putting me up at her house and taking care of me while on bed rest for one of my cycles when my husband couldn't be with me.
She went all out with jungle-themed shower decorations...the whole house was so lovely and festive...unbelievably cute:
Here's me with my fabulous husband right before things got going:
And with my best friend Danielle (who co-hosted the shower with Betsy), and her husband Jason:
I know Jason and Danielle from Santa Barbara...Jason was in a punk band and best friends with my brother Luke, the one who died. After that happened, they (Jason and Danielle) moved in with me for a few months, and essentially took care of me...I was a total mess...I don't know what I would have done without them...
So many people came to our shower...between 30 and 40, with some of my friends even coming from out of town. It was so incredible to see everyone! And so nice to be celebrating something so good and happy. Some of my friends, when we did the "When was the last time we saw each other?" thing, the answer was my brother's funeral...my friends mean so much to me and this shower was so important to me because for a long time I felt like all there ever was around me was sadness...so wonderful to have something happy to celebrate. That's my dad in the middle:
Some interesting things were said to me at the shower. So many people told me I looked great pregnant, and while I'm sure it's mandatory to say that to the mother-to-be at a baby shower, it still made me feel really good, as I just feel so huge and frumpy these days. But apparently I'm not nearly as big as people expected, and am "all belly."
And on a different subject, one of my friends from college told me she always thought I'd be the first of everyone in our group to have children, she always saw me as a mother, said I was so nurturing and loving to everyone around me. Several people I know from my late teens/early 20s have made that same sort of comment, and it's interesting, because I SO wanted to get married and have children young...it just didn't work out that way for a number of reasons and there's no way to go back and change it....so just have to accept it, which is something I'm still working on...
Betsy's husband August made the most fabulous dinner ever (I wasn't even expecting a dinner...like I said, they went all out)...beef tenderloin and salad, cupcakes for dessert...so yummy. Here's the buffet table before all the food came out:
And the gifts...goodness...we got sooooooo many beautiful things; everyone was so incredibly generous. Here's my husband with teddy bears we received, demonstrating how he's going to hold both babies at once. Awww....
And here's Betsy (in black) at the end of the night, and our friend Habeeba who we also used to work with in San Francisco (and continue to work with now...it's so nice to work with your friends). Habeeba came out from Oregon and helped Betsy tons:
So really an incredible party and weekend all around. I feel so, so lucky to have such amazing people in my life.
Hope everyone has a great weekend! Thanks for spending some time here this week. :)
XOXO
Here a link to my post about Baby Shower #2 for anyone who's interested...
A Small Scare Today (But All Is Well)
Hi Everyone!
So I went over to my mom's this morning, and she took a look at my ankles, which have been swollen since my shower on Saturday, and asked me to call my doctor right away. (She's a nurse, so her recommendations have extra weight.)
I called my doctor, and they asked me to come in to be looked at in a few hours.
So of course my mind goes to the worst possible place...pre-eclampsia, hospitalization, a forced early birth, etc. I get scared so easily with this pregnancy.
BUT, I went to the doctor and my blood pressure is OK, no protein in my urine, my weight is OK so they think I'm fine. They just asked me to stay off my feet for a while, try to eat as little salt as possible, and drink water with lemons and cucumbers, all of which are supposed to help with the swelling.
***Big sigh.***
I will say, though, that I am feeling differently this week. A lot more tired. Hard to breath. Hard to move when I'm laying down (like switching from one side to the other).
I've just got to take it day by day. And tell myself millions of women have done this before me...I can do it too...
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 30
Hi Everyone!
I'm 31 weeks pregnant today! Feeling so excited and happy and like actually having babies is sooooooo close!
Here's how the past week has been:
- Early in the week my back hurt really bad...a visit to the chiropractor helped tremendously, though
- Sleep is sometimes still an issue...some nights I sleep fine, but some nights I'm up all night...it's about half and half at this point...
- Forgot to weigh myself this morning, but I'm willing to bet I've lost more weight. BUT, my mom, who was away on a trip for the past few weeks, has offered to make me snacks, which I think is really going to help with food intake/weight gain (I find it hard to come up with 3 snacks a day, but if someone else has put them in my fridge, I know I'll eat them). My mom is the BEST! Thanks, Mom! :)
- Had my out-of-town baby shower on Saturday over in Denver (4 hours from where we live) and it was absolutely AMAZING. My friends threw the most beautiful and special party, and so many people came...it was just incredible. Something I'll remember my whole life. Will do a post with pictures sometime this week...
- I was on my feet for four or five hours at my shower (in retrospect, not smart, but I was having so much fun walking around talking with everyone). Because of it, my ankles swelled up HUGE. I haven't had any trouble with that up until this point. Trying to lay down a lot now and elevate my feet...about half the swelling has gone away, but there's still a lot there...anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to make it go down?
- Babies are moving like crazy lately...seems like more and more every week. I LOVE feeling them. So far, it hasn't hurt at all
- I was a tad bit worried that something might happen over in Denver and I'd end up stuck in the hospital over there, but everything was fine and now I'm home for the duration of my pregnancy, which feels good
So aside from the normal (for me anyway) discomforts, everything is going spectacularly.
Busy week this week with my mother-in-law coming for a visit Thursday and a second, local baby shower on Saturday. After that it's finish the nursery, rest up as much as possible and wait for the babies to come. I'm also trying to work right up until delivery if possible, since I can work from home. My due date is April 11, but I know the twins will probably come early and I have March 21 in my head for some reason which is only 6 weeks away...
Hope everyone is doing well and has a lovely week!
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 29
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
Today's a big milestone...30 weeks pregnant, and all is well. :)
Here's how the last week has been:
- Had an OB appointment last Friday and my doctor is pleased with how I'm doing. She says I'm measuring what a woman with one baby is at 40 weeks. Talked with me about contractions...I'm having the occasional what feels like menstrual cramps, and she said if I have more than six of those in an hour to call her
- Losing a little weight, which my doctor is not at all worried about but I am a little. My twins pregnancy book says I should be gaining about a pound a week right now (instead I'm losing about a pound a week), but that's so hard with the diabetes diet. Even when I'm hungry I can't eat as much as I'd like because I have to keep my blood sugars low. It's frustrating
- Craving red meat like crazy lately. And grapefruit still...
- Babies still moving a lot...it's great
- Having a weird little symptom I've never heard of before...at the end of the day, my left foot inside the arch looks all bruised/black-and-blue. But there's no swelling and it goes away in the morning (after I've been off my feet all night). My OB said not to worry about it...
- Things overall are starting to get HARD. I am tired ALL THE TIME. And out of breath after every little thing. Exercise is pretty much out at this point...trying to keep going with light housework/errands/trips up and down the stairs. I also think maybe me not being able to eat all I want is perhaps contributing to the exhaustion
- Sleep is totally erratic...some nights, I'm fine, others I'm up all night long, usually with some combination of my back/belly/right hip/knee (which I think is sciatica...one of the babies laying on the nerve...) being in pain. Last night I tried everything...massage, hot shower, warm bath, Tylenol, a glass of milk at 4 AM. A hot water bottle seemed to finally do the trick, but it's hard being up practically all night like that (for the second night in a row, no less). Plus, during the day I'm fine, but lying awake at night I start to get scared about how I'm going to make it through approximately two more months of this. And the thought of how our lives are going to change forever with two new babies...I want this more than anything, but it's still a little overwhelming when I'm awake and alone in the wee hours of the morning. (My husband has taken to sleeping in the guest room. He can't deal with the up-all-night bit that's been going on far too regularly. And truth be told, it's easier for me to fall asleep when I'm alone. But I can't wait until all this is over and we can sleep together again...)
- Lots of baby-related stuff I still want to do, but need to be mindful of my pretty much nonexistent energy level. I'm so thankful my husband pushed to get the nursery set up early...now we just have a few little things to do to be ready, which is so great. I did finish a baby sweater for our boy this past weekend (pictures to come)...my priority right now is a sweater for our girl...I certainly don't want one baby to have something I made for them and not the other...talk about getting off on the wrong foot :)
- We're having a baby shower in Denver (4-hour drive) this coming weekend and I am sooooooooo excited! Also a little worried about my lack of energy/exhaustion/sleeping difficulties...but I'm going to take it really easy this week so hopefully I have some reserves. This will be our last trip before the babies are born
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XOXO
Reincarnation
Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!
So I'm going to get a little weird and "new-agey" on you today...back to regularly scheduled programming next week, I promise...
I know this woman who lost her firstborn, a full-term baby, at birth, and then went on to have another healthy baby. We talked one day about reincarnation, about how she, during her second pregnancy, wondered if the baby she lost would come back to her as the new baby. She told me it was something she thought about a lot, and was open to the possibility of it happening. And then she had the new baby. And she knew right away that it wasn't the same soul or whatever you want to call it...that this new baby had no connection to the first.
This is something I've been thinking about, mostly in relation to my brother who died.
Someone claiming psychic abilities told me once years ago that he (my brother) would come back to me as my child, that he would once again take care of me. (Part of why it was so hard to lose my brother was that when he died we were living together and were each other's major support system...it's been awful having that gone from my life.)
So there is the question: Will one of these babies be my brother reincarnated? Or, for that matter, the baby girl we lost last spring? I don't need it to be, and I certainly don't expect it, but I do think it's a possibility.
And based on what my friend who lost her baby said, I think I'll know...
I feel so weird talking about this...but it's been on my mind, so...
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Thanks for spending some time here this week. :)
XOXO
Gestational Diabetes: Do the Fingersticks Have to Hurt?
My health care has been really great with my pregnancy...the exception being when I got gestational diabetes about a month ago, I wasn't taught how to do the blood glucose testing. (Well, I was, but by someone who'd never done it before, let alone taught someone how to do it, which honestly I'm seeing now was way worse than not being shown at all.)
I use this little device called the OneTouch Delica to prick my finger...and figuring it out on my own, I had to turn the dial to the highest setting (the higher the setting, the deeper the needle stick) to make it work and still I was having to poke myself multiple times for each reading and every time it HURT.
My mom had found an article for me when this whole diabetes thing first started that said testing was virtually pain free these days, and so I was left wondering, why did it hurt me so much? Was I that much of a wimp?
Well, kind of by accident, I've figured out over the past couple days that if I place the top on the device a certain way and put the device hard against my fingertip I can 1) not only get blood every time, but 2) I have also been able to dial back the needle depth from 7 (highest setting) to 1 (lowest). AND it doesn't hurt really AT ALL anymore. I am soooooo happy about this. Just wish it hadn't taken me a month of pain 4 times a day to figure this out.
So my advice to anyone who wants/needs it: Get trained. And if it hurts to do your blood sugars, you're doing something wrong. I felt like I just had to grin and bear it, but I'm seeing now that if it's done right it really doesn't have to hurt.
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 28
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
So, 29 weeks today...yay! Here's how the last week has been:
- Lots and lots of movement from the babies, which is by far the coolest part of being pregnant
- The whole gestational diabetes thing is still going OK. Eating VERY carefully and my blood sugars pretty much always test in range. I did lose a pound this week, instead of gaining a pound like I'm supposed to. I'm also getting really bored with food. Dinners are OK because we cook a variety of things, but breakfast and lunch and snacks are becoming pretty monotonous. I'm also finding it hard to get in three snacks a day (two's not a problem)...must be better about that
- We had our all-day birthing class at the hospital on Saturday, which went really well. Lots and lots of good information. Still not all that scared about labor & delivery...it all still seems so abstract and far away...
- The usual insomnia (not every night, but bad when it happens), back ache, joints aching, still some nausea although nothing like it was before
- I took a bath for the first time since I got pregnant! I love REALLY hot baths, and those are not allowed, so I've been kind of pouty about it and not had any baths at all. But this weekend I ran a 100-degree bath and it was pretty nice. Not as good as scalding hot, but definitely better than nothing. I also ***horror of horrors*** had a decaf espresso on Saturday (I've been really weird about caffeine of any kind during my pregnancy, and decaf has a little). It was super yummy and the world did not end because I drank it :)
- Getting big, big, big, and slowing down a lot (which I talked about here last week). Really tired a lot of the time. Spent yesterday on self-imposed bed rest trying to get some energy back and, ladies who have had to do that (or are doing it now), I'm so impressed because it is HARD. After one day of reading and watching TV and knitting and not much else, never getting out of my pajamas, I was pretty stir crazy. But we all do what we have to do, right? I'm sure if I had to do bed rest for real I could do it
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XOXO
The Third Trimester: Two Pieces of Advice I Needed to Hear
Hi Everyone!
So this has been kind of a tumultuous week as far as being pregnant. Nothing bad's happened, I just feel like I'm moving into a different phase, maybe it's all in my head as this week is the official start of the third trimester, or maybe there's more of a physical basis for it, I don't know. But I've been VERY tired and feeling like it's harder to move around and definitely harder to get anything done, from sleeping to errands to exercise to work...I feel in some ways like I'm hitting a wall. And I talked about this earlier in the week, how I want to make the most of these last weeks of my pregnancy--meaning, I don't know, enjoy it, keep things as safe and healthy for the babies as possible, etc.--but I'm not really sure how to do it.
Two things in the past 24 hours have helped:
1. I read this post from the lovely blog Dear Baby last night, and have been thinking a lot about it. Specifically, how the author talks about being in the moment and appreciating it, even if it's hard (eg, for her, her infant son screaming all hours of the night).
I've been thinking about how at night, unable to sleep, I sometimes get so frustrated with how incredibly uncomfortable this pregnancy has been. But last night I tried thinking, "My babies need to be inside my body right now, this is the best place for them, and yeah, I sure don't feel that great physically because of it but this is how things are today, this is what they need now and I'm so grateful to be able to provide this for them." It feels good to be thinking that. I know it's kind of Pollyana-ish and whatever, but it beats being stressed out over something (insomia and the fact it's pretty much impossible to get comfortable at this point) I have no control over.
2. I talked with a woman I know casually through work today...she has 8-year-old twins and her advice to me for the third trimester of my pregnancy was to slow down, spend more time in bed, quit trying to exercise, get rid of my TO DO list to as much of an extent as possible. She said she had gestational diabetes too and found that it was an extra drain. (I've just been acting like it's no big deal, like it's not affecting me at all...of course I have made no allowances for the fact that it might be maiking things harder.)
And I'm sure this hasn't been everyone's experience, but she was saying that the last couple months of being pregnant were harder for her than after the babies were born. I've been assuming the exact opposite, that I need to get everything done NOW, because after the babies are born life will be so much harder.
Even before talking with this woman, I've been thinking a lot about needing to rest more. My Type A personality has been fighting it (besides the fact I already feel like I'm taking it pretty easy), but maybe it's time to take a step back and really, really acknowldege the fact that I'm pregnant and I can't do everything, I need to rest, I need to stop having 30 things I'm trying to get done every single day, I need to ask my husband to help more (and he totally will, I've just been trying to do more than my fair share knowing the day is coming when he's going to have to do more than his).
So:
Being really present, even though it's hard.
Resting more and accomplishing less.
These are my strategies for third trimester.
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Thanks for spending some time here this week.
XOXO
Grapefruit vs Chocolate
Hi Everyone!
So I know I've mentioned my crazy grapefruit cravings before, but have to laugh at what happened last night.
For my late-night snack, my husband was going to make me a small bowl of chocolate pudding. (I can have sweets on the diabetic diet, just in VERY small portion sizes, eg 1/4 cup of pudding.) Anyway, I told him I didn't want chocolate pudding, I would rather have a grapefruit, thank you very much. (And this is not AT ALL about me trying to be "good" or healthy, it's about what I truly want.)
Seriously, who passes over an offer of chocolate for grapefruit?
Pregnancy is so weird...
Oh and PS, I am also craving pickles, lol...
Image Credit: Lady Miss Scarlett.
Two Things I'm Scared About
There are two things I'm scared about surrounding the birth of these babies (aside from the question of, "Will they be born healthy?" I just have to assume that is going to be the case or I will drive myself mad.)
- Post-partum depression. I have LOTS of risk factors for it, including previous trouble with depression, IVF, twins, gestational diabetes, etc. Don't know what to do other than keep it on my radar (and everyone else's) and get help if I need it. Hopefully if it happens it won't be too bad...and maybe it won't happen at all...
- Breastfeeding. Everything I hear and read is about how hard it is, how it doesn't go well, how to expect it to be painful and not work etc., etc., etc. But again, I don't know what to do about this other than read and learn all I can beforehand, be really committed to it, and to get help along the way if I need it
Weirdly, I'm not worried about labor & delivery at all at this point...maybe because I've been avoiding too graphic of descriptions...but we have our birthing class on Saturday so that could change.
Those of you who are pregnant/have had children...were you scared about these things? Did they happen? How did you handle it?
XOXO
Grace in Small Things, January 17, 2012
1. I had a little mini-meltdown today...I know it's ridiculous, but I was so tired from not sleeping last night and all of a sudden it's really hard to breathe (babies are squishing my lungs, I'm assuming) and I'm feeling so huge and a lot of my maternity clothes don't fit anymore and I feel like I just look fat and exhausted...I AM fat and exhausted...and don't get me wrong, these are GREAT problems to have, I know, but I'm tired of feeling so frumpy and isolated because I never have energy to do anything plus I can't do any of my normal athletic stuff.
But I called my friend Betsy, who laughed at me (which didn't bother me at all, I'm laughing at myself too, through the tears, mind you), and she said I needed a cup cake (no can do, I told her, because of the diabetes) and some retail therapy (which I think is true...I've been trying not to spend money on maternity stuff but a few new things will make me feel better...plus I have nothing to wear for my baby showers). I'm so lucky to have friends I can call...
I also feel like I need a plan to make these last weeks a little more...I don't know what the word is...comfortable? Enjoyable? I don't want to just be counting the days until the babies are born...I want to appreciate each day as much as possible...
2. Talking with my husband today about how he was ready to give up on having kids and live child-free like three procedures ago...so grateful that he was OK with trying again (and again, and again), because he knew how much it meant to me...
3. My biggest client is implementing this big new workflow thing...part of salesforce.com and I normally hate, hate, hate these kinds of initiatives, but so far, this one looks like it's a) not going to be too bad to learn...a lot more user-friendly than other things I've seen come and go, and b) may actually make everyone's life easier (which is what these things are supposed to do, but that doesn't tend to end up being the case in my experience). Fingers crossed...
4. I got my husband a Nespresso machine for X-mas...we first saw these when we were in Europe last winter on our honeymoon...and I'm not drinking ANY coffee until my pregnancy is over but the smell of the coffee he's making is just divine...can't wait to have a cup...plus it takes me right back to Amsterdam when we first got off the plane, snowing like crazy and our hotel had a lovely little lobby with couches around a fireplace and we sank down into the cushions they said, "Would you like an espresso?" and we said, "Yes, please," and they made us each one and it was the best thing ever...
5. My husband's starting school again tomorrow. His last semester, I'm so thankful. We are both SO ready for him to be done...
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 27
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
I'm 28 weeks pregnant today, which is a big milestone in that a) I am now in my third trimester! and b) the babies' survival is a much surer thing if they were born now than it has been the past few week.
Here's how the last week has been:
- The whole gestational diabetes thing is going pretty OK. I'm finding it pretty easy to stick to the diet and testing my glucose 4 times/day hurts, but I just don't think about it too much and it isn't that big a deal. The only thing I'm having a little trouble with is when I'm eating out sometimes my blood sugar is higher than it should be. Like one night I had a patty melt and a salad and that was bad, bad, bad. I was thinking, a hamburgur and 2 pieces of bread and veggies, that should be a good meal, but the diabetes educator I met with Friday said the restaurant had probably put sugar in the carmalized onions, and the thousand island dressing had sugar, and the ranch dressing I put on my salad had sugar. Anyway, lesson learned. I need to be VERY careful when not preparing meals at home
- OB appointment on Friday and everything looks great. The babies are 2 lb 11 oz and 2 lb 13 oz, which my OB said was great and Dr. Google says are on the large side for 27 weeks...don't know if that's because of the diabetes or the fact my husband is 6' 6". Anyway, my OB seems pleased so I am happy. The babies are both also head down, and my OB says we can try for a natural delivery as long as the first baby is head down. Glad to hear that
- The fears I had last week about something going wrong have lessened, thank goodness. Today feeling very serene and confident that everything is going to go well from this point forward
- Still some discomfort from a variety of sources. Nausea continues to be bothersome although it's nothing like it was earlier in the pregnancy. My sleep is still off but not as bad as it's been. I've found that if I wake in the middle of the night a hot shower and one Tylenol can help me get back to sleep (if I wake it's usually because my back and/or right hip/knee [old sports injury] are aching)
- Feeling a bit more fatigue. Naps in the afternoons sometimes are a good thing
- Still walking some, but my whole belly area tends to feel uncomfortable/crampy after, so really minimizing exercise...maybe twice a week at this point
- Today I weighed in at +35 lbs from my transfer date--right where I should be. From this point forward I'm supposed to gain about a pound a week for the rest of the pregnancy, which is what I gained on the diabetes diet last week so I'm pretty confident this can happen
- Working on baby quilts with my mom and baby sweaters on my own...I'm so happy I'm able to make so many things for the babies...means a lot to me
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XO
The Nursery, Episode #4: Curtains
Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!
So a few weeks ago, my mom and I made curtains for the nursery. Very simple, just hemmed rectangles...we're using metal clips up top to hang...and I didn't want to line them as I've heard you want to get the babies used to day and night, so no blacked out rooms during that day.
As I've mentioned, this room (the nursery) was already painted gray and we've decided not to change it, so I'm working within that parameter. I love the fabric here, though...felt like it helps to lighten the gray up and make the room more fun and child-like. What do you all think?
Will be showing pictures of the entire nursery in February, once we're finished. I have to say, it's been really nice to put it together little by little, especially since we're making a number of things.
Hope everyone has a great weekend! Thanks for spending some time here this week. :)
XOXO
Fabric source: Hobby Lobby.
The Nursery, Episode 3: Wall Art