Living Room Remodel: Week 1

So we bought this 1960s house when we moved to ABQ that essentially hadn't been changed since it was built.

We did a remodel on my mother-in-law's space when we first moved in to make it nice for her, but haven't done anything with our space. We've been saving up money 'til we can pay cash. We're going to do the remodel in stages, the first being the living room/dining room, the upstairs family room which we call the "Daddy Lounge," and the hallways.

We're taking out the white carpet (which is impossible to keep clean with kids and dogs), putting in hardwood floors, redoing some of the lighting, the big huge wall in the living room we're going to turn into a work of art per my husband's vision, new pillows and accessories, family photos on the wall, reupholstering the dining room chairs, new windows that don't leak cold air in the winter like crazy. Furniture stays the same, but we're hoping to bring a lot of color and personality into our space.

Here are some before pictures, as well as some showing the tear-out of the carpet and installation of the wood floor (windows got installed too). Next will be lighting and staining of the floors and some finish work. The huge wall will come after that. Followed by the little stuff (pillows, etc.). Our plan is to get these rooms totally done before moving on. At some point when funds allow we want to do our bedroom/bath, the guest and kid's rooms, outside, and probably last the kitchen. One step at a time.

I am SO EXCITED to be making this house into a true home. And actually, it's good that we needed to wait, because living here close to a year has given us a very good sense of what we like and don't like and what we feel we need. We didn't know when we first moved in...

Anyway, here is a "before" of the living room:

And the dining room:

Dining room looking into the kitchen:

Living room looking into the entry hall...the dark tiles are staying, they are one of my favorite things aobut the house:

Hallway where we plan to put family pictures as part of this project:

Stairs up to the Daddy Lounge:

Track lighting that is going away...my husband and I found the coolest lights antiquing that are going to go here...

Here's the carpet coming out of the dining room:

And living room:

The floor had to be flattened, was very uneven:

And hardwood going in:

Here's the Daddy Lounge...we pulled up the carpet to discover there were already beautiful hardwoods up here:

And hardwoods complete in the living room/dining room:

Can't wait to show you all how this project progresses!

XOXO

Luke and Zoey: 23 Months

What a lovely month we've had, including sticking magnetic letters to my parent's dog, Jack, who was here visiting with us for a few weeks; snuggle time with Daddy; trips to the playground.

The kids are talking like crazy, full-on sentences. And talking about things I have no idea how they know. I asked Zo to do something one day and she said, "Sissy busy!" and went running off in another direction. Or another day, when we were in the playroom together, just she and I, building a block tower, she said out of the blue, "Sissy happy!" Cutest thing ever.

Kids have their colors down for the most part. Starting on numbers. Luke already knows the letter K, I have no idea how.

Luke's given up the paci except for at naptime and bedtime, no big deal, these little guys are so adaptable. 

Happy and sweet and loving and fun. I'm exhausted by the end of the day but they're such easy kids for the most part. 

Can't believe they'll be two in a month. So crazy...

XOXO

Santa Fe: Valentine's 2014

My husband and I went to Santa Fe over the weekend, grandparents taking over kid duty. We had SUCH a nice time...we've been together 9 years this year and I think this was the first time we've done anything for Valentine's. Some nice meals, yummy margaritas, live music, art galleries and museums, walking around town, antiquing. And sleep, lots and lots of sleep, I had no idea how sleep deprived I was.

We had fun, but I'll also say I don't like Santa Fe that much. This was our second time there in the past 4 months, and it just feels so touristy to me, and an older tourist crowd too...there's nothing worng with that, but it just doesn't feel like our scene. When we go away again (I have no idea when that will be, but someday), we're thinking Austin. Or Mexico, maybe? So easy to get to from ABQ...

Not knocking this weekend though. Amazing to have some time to ourselves...loved it. (Missed the kids, too, of course. So happy to be reunited.)

XOXO

Library Books We Love

Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday!

My kids love, love, love books. And as a cost-savings measure (and to get us out of the house on a regular basis), a lot of what we read are library books. The kids pick their own new batch every Tuesday (although sometimes we hold favorites over a week or two). Because they pick, we get a totally random assortment, over half of which on any given week I don't particularly like. Lately we've gotten a lot of good books, though, and I wanted to share. And so without further ado:

• Uncle Bigfoot--A kid's uncle comes to visit and the big question is...Is he a bigfoot? The evidence goes both ways. The cool thing about this book is his parents are totally into stuff like bigfoot, they have books on their shelves about crop circles and vampires, there are family vacation pictures from Roswell, etc. And you never really get the answer as to whether the uncle is a bigfoot or not, which is cool
• Pillow Pup--Super cute illustrations and rhyming text about a dog and a cute little girl trying to lay claim to a pillow. When you ask Luke what he wants to read, as often or not he'll say, "Pillow Pup!!!" at the top of his voice
• Monster Mess--This is one we probably shouldn't have taken back to the library on Tuesday, as Sissy keeps asking for it, and then when I don't have it she says, "Monster Mess hiding!" It's a book about a monster who cleans up a little boy's room in the dead of night. It's taught the kids words like "Yikes!" and "Ick!" This is my favorite of the bunch...may need to become part of our permanent collection
• Airplanes--I can't find this online anywhere, it's an older book with photographs and descriptions of airplanes. I got this before I went to Boston to try to explain to the kids what I was doing. "Momma's going to fly on a big plane," I'd tell them. "Momma's going to Boston." Sissy would say, "Sissy fly big plane." And, "Luke come too." "Someday," I'd tell them. I think it'll be fun to take them on an airplane trip one of these days, knock on wood...
• Chicken and Cat--Pictures only, a story about a cat coming to NYC to visit his friend chicken. I don't know how I feel about just-picture books in general, but I really like this one. It's fun to make up a slightly different story each time
• Firefighters A to Z--The kids have been obsessed with firefighters since we went to the firehouse a few months ago. This book was a big hit
• "No" Said Joe--This book's fun because each page the little boy either says, "No!" or "Yes!" and Luke especially likes to narrate that part of the story (always with great enthusiasm...it's so cute...
• No Fits, Nilson--A little girl, Amelia, and her gorilla (real-looking throughout the story, but he's a stuffed animal at the end) and how they control their temper tantrums. I especially love the illustrations here...Amelia has the cutest outfits and accessories, and she has bangs which are soooooo adorable. (Sissy now has bangs like Amelia)
• Meet Wild Boars--Horace, Doris, Boris and Morris are terrible house guests. I love the humor in this book...it's for adults as much as kids
• Once a Mouse--A story of a man turning a mouse into a cat a dog a tiger, until the mouse gets too big for his britches. A simple story with a good moral

I'll do a review again once we have another good batch of books on our hands...

Also, I've been thinking about playing around with writing some children's books myself (in all my spare time, ha, ha, ha)...something I've never tried...think it might be fun...

XOXO

A Week of Lovely Moments

Lots of sadness about Hunter last week, I think because I saw friends I hadn't seen since everything went down, and also the 28th is the day we lost her and I walked around that whole day saying to myself, "Why do I feel so bad about this today?" until the end of the day when I realized the date and it all made sense.

But also last week was such a lovely week, with some really beautiful moments.

Such as traveling to Boston for business (and being OK being away from the kids. Last time I was away from them, an overnight for our anniversary last October, I was totally panicked the whole time...it was too close to Hunter's death...I'm doing better now.)

Anyway, I used to be in Boston all the time for work, but it's been years. Good to see old friends and Kendall Square in Cambridge where the office is...it was cold but I walked from the office on the river to Cuchi Cuchi one night (one of my favorite restaurants ever, oh my gosh, my dinner was so good) and Kendall Square when I first started working there in 2002 was really a wasteland, there was just nothing, now it looks like something out of The Jetsons, with every square inch developed, incredible architecture and glass and steel buildings and stories-high plasma screens--it's incredible how that area has been transformed, cool to see it up close.

Here is the view from the office I occupied for a few days:

And then back in New Mexico, hiking this weekend, also cold, snow starting to fall on the peaks and our dogs and Jack who we're dogsitting for while my parents are in Big Bend...happy and Dexter was playing chase with Newton which I haven't seen since his cancer diagnosis in November, he's doing so well, I know his time is limited, but it's so good to see him doing so well...

And then Superbowl Sunday, sitting in the kitchen with the kids after naps, Luke in his orange-and-blue striped thermal, them both coloring happily, my husband prepping our burgers-and-sweet-potato-fries dinner for later, trying to teach the kids to say, "Go, Broncos!" and we had an oldies station on and the kids and I danced to "You're the One That I Want" from "Grease" (love that movie and that song's the best part) and I sang "You've Got a Friend" to them...I mean, nothing happened, but it was just such a sweet, ordinary hour we spent in the kitchen as a family...

Oh, and the kids watched the ENTIRE football game (we had lots of toys for them, but still I was expecting they'd be done by halftime). The cheer the kids ended up using was, "Go, Football!," which was just as well. 

Hope everyone has a great Monday!

XOXO

Sissy's First Haircut

Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday!

So "Pa-Pa" (Grandpa) has been cutting Luke's hair for a while now, but I've been really hesitant to have Sissy's cut.

But her bangs were getting out of control and everyone else wanted to cut it. And we asked her if she wanted a haircut and she said yes. And I believe in letting the kids have what they want when we give them the choice. And so: Off to Jungle Cuts, just she and I, Daddy at home with Bubs.

They were so nice there, and Sissy was SO serious, sat without moving a muscle the whole time.

Oh, and the cutest part of the story? At the end she got to pick out a prize to take home, because she had been so good. She picked out a pink ball with a smiley face on it. And then picked out a purple one and asked, "Luke prize too?" 

Awwww...melts my heart. I love having twins.

Oh, and PS, I love the bangs.

XOXO

Albuquerque Confidential: The Rio Grande Nature Center (AKA, "The Duck Pond")

Hi Everyone! Happy Tuesday!

One of our favorite "let's-get-out-of-the-house" activities these days is the Rio Grande Nature Center, or, as it's known at our house, "The Duck Pond."

It's a good place to go in the winter, because it has this warm, comfy viewing room with couches and pillows and big walls of glass that look out on the ducks.

We discovered this place late in the fall when the leaves were already brown and falling off the trees...can't wait to see the changes the seasons bring. Winter here is lovely though, with the muted colors and there are lots of ducks and geese, which the kids find endlessly fascinating. It's so calming to sit and watch them. We usually go at the end of the day when the light is at it's prettiest.

Our most recent trip included Grammy and Grandpa.

You park and walk a short path to the Visitor's Center, which has the viewing room.

Through a tunnel that has a great echo:

To the room, where you can watch the ducks in comfort. My almost-two-year-olds last about half an hour in here before they get restless. And at this time of year, anyway, we usually have the place to ourselves.

Luke taking a break to check his email, LOL:

There's a little ice on the edge of the pond right now...it has melted in spots in the shape of leaves that have fallen, which I think is so cool and I don't remember seeing anywhere before:

Once the kids get tired of inside, we head out to the viewing area next to the building, a wall to keep you shielded from the ducks, with cut-outs to observe them through. As nice as the viewing room is, it's a different experience being outside, feeling the slight breeze, smelling the clean coldness of the pond. And there is a microphone that pipes the duck sounds into the viewing room, but you always hear more outside: 

And then, back to the car. The gates close at 5 PM so you've got to make sure to time it right:

I'm sure once the weather warms up we'll do more here...walk on the trails, bring a picnic, etc. But in the middle of winter, this is the way to do it. :)

XOXO

Hikes With Dexter

January has been so beautiful in New Mexico.

And I've found some places to hike where it's just me and the dogs, or me and my Dad, who's been visiting, and the dogs.

Sunsets at five have been lovely, although the days are already extending.

There's a duck pond on one of the trails, just up from this picture. Cottonwoods, their leaves brown and dead right now, flank it. It's frozen now, the ice with cracks that look like tree branches. Look forward to the thaw, and to seeing ducks arrive, and then maybe ducklings? It's not too far, so maybe one of these days when it's warmer and there are actual ducks I'll bring the twins with me. 

These hikes right now, primarily, are my time with Dexter, and my way to bring joy to his days. Even though he's doing well every hike I think, "Is this the last?" It could be the last for any of us, at any time, I know, but him dying of cancer makes that thought and my appreciation of the time I have with him ever-present. Which is a good thing.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. Thanks for spending some time here this week.

XOXO

22 Months

Hi Everyone!

Kids turned 22 months last week.

This past month has been so fun. Winter has been so mild here, makes it easy to get out, like a little trip we took to the zoo last Saturday:

Sissy's hair has been crazy...she doesn't really like things done with it (she'll let me put it up, and then pulls it out), but it hangs in her face if I do nothing. We've tried all sorts of different things, from pigtails (my favorite) to tons of braids (don't like it...won't do that again). Also, she tangles it up in her sleep (witness the epic bed-head in the second picture below). We'll figure it out. In the meantime, how cute is this picture of her fixing her teddy's hair?

Luke and Zo are really affectionate with each other. Most of the time. Like at the library today, where they'd go their own ways to play but come back to each other at intervals and give a hug or a pat on the back. Or like here in the bath:

Zo always takes the elephant towel after bath, and Luke the shark. Funny how attached they are to their particular animal:

Lots of days at the playground, too. The kids run and climb and slide...I try to give them space and not hover too close:

Oh, and Daddy's been giving the kids gingersnaps as a treat. Luke crams them whole into his mouth in 3 seconds flat. Zo breaks hers into little pieces and takes her time...

Jumping in the crib in the morning is a new fun activity. As is throwing all the stuffies and blankets onto the floor. They'll often play for an hour or so in their cribs after waking, though, happy as clams, so I can't complain about the mess on the floor. :)

The kids also really like to cuddle in bed with us. Under the covers is key. We don't do a lot of screen time with them, but "What Does the Fox Say" is still in heavy rotation around here. Also "Truck Beep!" which is videos of fire engines responding, leaving the firehouse with their sirens going. For some reason that is ENDLESSLY fascinating.

A few more shots from the botanic gardens and the zoo. Saturday the kids had their first chocolate milk ever. Instant love.

 

And let's see...what else has been going on in the past month...

The affection the kids show for each other sometimes goes a little far, with Luke especially who likes to play a game I call "Tackle Tackle Sissy," where he wrestles her to the ground and she ends up crying. "You have to ASK Sissy if she wants to play Tackle Tackle before you do it," I keep saying to him.

The kids are talking like crazy, will repeat anything you say, three and four word sentences and lots of pleases to get what they want. And they are starting to learn colors and numbers. Usually when you ask what color something is they say "Blue!" but they are getting other colors as well.

When you ask Luke how many fingers you are holding up he always says "Two!" or "Six!" Two and six are his favorite numbers. Sometimes things get confused and you say "How many fingers am I holding up?" and he'll say "Blue!" But hey, they're not even two. I'm not worried. Animals...they can also identify a ton of animals, and what sounds they make.

Luke asked to go to the potty yesterday and then peed instead of peeing in his diaper. Yay Luke! We are not pushing potty training, but Luke's definitely interested. Sissy could still care less but that is fine. She went through a phase where I would find her naked in the crib in the mornings, but we changed from footie PJs to 2 pieces without feet and that seems to have taken care of that for whatever reason.

Sissy has a new favorite monster book called "Monster Mess," she wants to read it all the time but needs to snuggle to feel safe while doing it. The fear of cows seems to be disappearing a little, but today at story hour there was a story where there was mooing the entire way through and Sis had to snuggle with me to feel safe. Also if you ask her where a cow is, like in a picture book, she says "Hiding!" (Meaning she doesn't want to see it.) Or if you ask "What does a cow say?" she'll say "Bye Bye!" and wave goodbye.

Both kids like to brush their teeth in the glassed in shower (sans water)...and I figure, why not?

The kids do a lot with me errand and chore wise--the car wash is a hit, and at dinner they will spin the lettuce in the salad spinner for almost as long as it takes me to put something quick together. (Although Sis has been known to fling lettuce all over the kitchen, so the salad spinner is kind of a risky proposition.)

We have two different kinds of bubble bath and Luke likes just the right ratio--a little of this one, a little of that. He's very meticulous about it. And Sis is that way about her clothes sometimes. The other day everything had to be blue. And she got pink sparkle cowboy boots for Xmas and every morning she says "Cow Boots!"

They're both such happy and energetic kids. There are lots of "Hi!"s and "Hey!"s. (Everything they say they say as an exclamation, it seems.) There are high fives and fist bumps. There is "Roly Poly," where I put Luke on my chest and roll back and forth to either side of the floor while he laughs and laughs. There is tickling. There is chasing babies. There is vacuuming and sweeping with their new Xmas toys and they will take laundry to the laundry room and every night I rock them to sleep, each getting a turn, they both want me to sing "Teddy Bear Picnic" and nothing else and Luke always says "Hair Away" so I'll put my hair up because he doesn't like it in his face. And sometimes one or both of them want their fuzzy polka dot blankets wrapped around them while we rock and the one whose not being rocked will go get the blanket for the other twin. And we read on the couch in jammies curled up in those blankets in the early morning...it is bliss.

And Dexter, our dog who we will probably lose in the coming months, lays with us while we read, like he is listening to the stories. And lays in the hall in from of the kids bedroom door while they nap. It's the sweetest. 

These are some of the things I want to remember from this time. We're having such a good time...

XOXO

Grace in Small Things, January 17, 2014

Hi Everybody! Happy Friday!

I really feel like whining and complaining today, but instead, here are some things that are good in my world:

1) Saw some pictures of me pregnant yesterday, and got really upset. My husband is so good these days about giving me the support that I need though...makes it all OK. Well, it doesn't make the situation OK, but you know what I mean... I really need to archive all my photos from 2013. Everyone says someday I'll be glad to have those pictures but right now it's just too painful...

2) I hate this diet we're doing for 2 more weeks but you know what I love that I can eat? Flaked coconut (no sugar added). Yum.

3) My husband and I are both off work a little early today and are going to take the kids to the aquarium or the zoo for an hour or so...so lovely to be able to do that (and the fact that it is mid-50s here in January and a trip to the zoo will be lnice and warm...love it...

4) Dexter, my dog with cancer...you can tell he's not his old self...he's so skinny right now...but he's hanging in there. Appreciate every day I get with him...

5) Going to Boston for 2 1/2 days week after next and I will miss the kids like CRAZY, but I am also kind of excited to go...

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend! Thanks so much for spending some time here this week.

XOXO

Grace in Small Things, January 14, 2014

Hi Everyone! Happy Tuesday!

Some things I am grateful for/happy about today:

1) Hosted my first play group yesterday...15 moms and about 25 kids. Worked out great...our house comfortably holds a group like that (with everybody spread out between the living room/dining room, kitchen, playroom), and I have to brag on my kids for a minute...they were SUCH GOOD hosts...shared their toys, etc. It was super fun...can't wait to do it again. (My mother-in-law helped, too, which made it a lot easier than it otherwise would have been...she's so great...)

2) Was EXHAUSTED after play group, which at first I attributed to that, but I actually think it was the Whole 30 diet thing I'm doing with my husband (we're one week in), plus we've been doing Crossfit four days a week at 5:00 AM for a while now. I got some carbs in me last night (don't think I've been getting enough) and we took the morning off from the gym this morning, and I am feeling a whole lot better today...

3) It's been in the 50s every day here this winter, pretty much...perfect hiking weather...another thing I love about ABQ...

4) Oh my gosh, my kids are fun right now. Talking up a storm...they have so much to say...I am loving it. Loving that I get to spend every morning with them...that time is so precious...

5) I'm going to make my billing quota (20 hours/week) for January with my job. I'm in a big transition at the moment (my biggest client is essentially gone as of January 1, trying to make up that work with past clients to start), and 95% of the time I'm sure it's going to turn out fine, and 5% of the time I'm a little scared. But so far so good. And not only am I getting the work I need, overall I'm working less, an adjustment that has been needed. (In theory I've been working 20 hours/week, but in practice it's been more, which means early mornings, nights, weekends when the kids nap...essentially, no time for me. Feels so good to not be so crazed for once...)

After being with the kids this morning, I've got a little work this afternoon, the Apple Store to sort out some IT issues (oh how I wish I had an IT person), a hike with the dogs, dinner with my family, early to bed so we can do the 5:00 AM gym thing tomorrow... Happy and grateful today...

XOXO

Dog-Dog as Superhero

My husband got the kids each a stuffed schnauzer a few months back.

("I don't want any fighting over whose turn it is for the stuffie," he said at the time.)

Both are named Dog-Dog, and are favorites around here.

For X-mas, my mother-in-law made superhero capes and eye masks for the kids--Luke's black and red with a big red "L" on the back, Zo's pink and orange with a "Z." She also made matching outfits for each Dog-Dog. With big "D"'s stitched onto the back.

Who knew our Dog-Dogs had secret identities?

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

Two Rockers Are Better Than One

These brown bear and pink bunny rockers were my idea for X-mas.

The kids love rocking on them in the traditional way.

And Zo today, once she figured it out, couldn't stop doing this, where she's got them both rocking in unison.

My husband's best friend has been visiting. "Kids get so smart so quick, don't they?" he's said.

Yes, they do.

Two Full Weeks With Daddy

We've had my husband with us all through the holidays...so hard having him go back to work! Saturday, one of the last days of this stretch of time off, found us at the duck pond (officially the Rio Grande Nature Center State Park), one of my--and the kid's--favorite places in ABQ.

More ducks than I've ever seen, maybe 100, plus some geese, plus the wind was blowing the browned leaves into the pond like enormous flutters of snow. And warm--high 50s--such warm days here our first winter in ABQ...

Happy Monday!

XOXO

Holidays

Hi Everyone! Happy New Year!

Wanted to share some pictures and stories of the holidays today. Honestly, this was kind of a tough one for us...Hunter, our daughter we lost, her due date was yesterday and my husband and I really felt it all month long. But, as usual, we did our best to make things as good as we could and count our blessings. There were some really great moments, and I LOVED seeing my family, as always, but overall I'm so glad the holidays are over.

We were going to Colorado for X-mas, so we didn't do much around the house...we did put up our fake "disco tree," though. (My husband thinks our tree should be fake and I think real, we each get our way every other year.)

A week or so before X-mas, we had a surprise visit from my husband's niece and nephew, originally from Kuwait, now in college in Arizona. It was lovely to meet them and have them for a few days. We took them to the duck pond, one of the kid's favorite places. And then to Old Town, where there was an enormous X-mas tree where each branch was an individual tree...it was really cool. Oh, and I let Zo touch a cactus and she got prickers in her hands...yeah, I felt like a bad mom. I try not to hover over them and be too restricting...there are a lot of things I'm terrified of in terms of they could hurt my kids, but cacti isn't one of them. Oh well. Her dad got the prickers out. No major harm done.

Grandma and throwing leaves...happy kids...

We had X-mas in ABQ with my mother-in-law and the kid's presents, so we didn't have to travel with those. And then drove to Colorado up Highway 285...very isolated and rural, gorgeous drive, full of fields of cows and horses...the kids were entertained the whole 6 hours just pointing out the cows and horses...it was amazing. Also, on the way up in the San Luis Valley, it was minus 3 degrees and everything was covered in ice. One of my favorite parts of Colorado and so, so beautiful.

We had an early X-mas dinner with my extended family at my uncle's place in Evergreen...so gorgeous where he lives. And there were deer that hung around the house for an hour or so, which was pretty cool. The picture below is me and Zo and my Mom and Aunt Judy, who was a big part of my life growing up. Love her.

X-mas was kind of disjointed this year, doing things here, and then my uncle's, and my brother's girlfriend had to work and didn't have her kids on X-mas so we did kid presents before, adult presents late on X-mas after my kids had gone to bed and Santa presents the day after...not ideal, but we made it work and not a problem to be flexible...so lucky to get to be with family. Also, don't have any pictures but saw dear friends of ours for X-mas brunch, which was such a nice treat...

Oh, and Pa Pa got Luke a peacock...perfect as that's all Luke talks about since we went to the zoo over Thanksgiving and saw peacocks there...

Otherwise, a lot of hanging out at my brother's up in the mountains, with the kids sweeping (they are really into sweeping right now for some reason), and visiting the chickens, and getting stories read to them, looking at pictures of themselves on Pa Pa's iPad, and both kids got to ride on my brother's bulldozer...Zo liked it more than Luke...

An easy trip back a week later (again, looking for fields of cows and horses...endlessly amusing for the kids). And my husband had/has 2 weeks off work, so we've been doing some fun things around town. Like the aquarium, which is turning into our favorite winter-time outing. Love this pic of my husband and kiddos:

New Year's Eve we decided we should go out and have fun...my husband's best friend is in town and I let my husband plan it. We went to the Monte Carlo Steak house, kind of a dive-y place in the back of a liquor store, but truly the best steak of my life. And so relaxed and cool. Then we went to Il Vicino brewery, also for the first time, very sleek and modern, loved it. And then home 10:30-ish, with drinks in the upstairs "Daddy Lounge" so no one had to be the designated driver. It was a really fun and cool night.

New Year's Day was hard for me...I cried over Hunter, I know I don't talk about it a lot here but I would give anything to have our girl. Just because I don't talk about it doesn't mean I'm over it...not by a long shot.

But then we made beef borgenoin and hung out in our PJs all day, did sparklers out on the back patio once it was dark to celebrate the start of a New Year and all day I gave thanks for the beautiful, perfect children that I do have:

Love and light to you all.

Wishing the best for all of us in 2014.

XOXO

"Dream Life, 2013"

Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday!

In the last few days of 2013, I'm looking back at the year and the goals I set for myself (that I titled "Dream Life, 2013").

I did a lot. Some things--the most important things--turned out horribly. Really looking forward to 2014 and what feels like a fresh start.

But first, last year's goals and how I did:

1. Dream House: We ended up with the coolest 1960s home in ABQ. That also needs a lot of work to make it ours...work we haven't started but some (or maybe even all) of which will happen in 2014. We're going to do it in chunks: Living area, bedrooms, outdoors, kitchen, probably in that order. Can't wait to share some before-and-after pics! :)
2. Girlfriends: ABQ has got to be the friendliest city in the US. I made a huge effort to make friends, and feel like I have a really good start.
3. New Office and Work Schedule: My office needs work, especially my IT situation. And I worked too much in 2013. 2014 is bringing big changes, though, with my client base shifting. Hope I can stick closer to 20 hours/week. Tired of working before the kids get up and on weekends to make deadlines...shouldn't be having to do that...
4. A Finished San Francisco Book: I did terribly with writing and it is so easy to say there is just not time but I know that's not it. It's just fear of things not being perfect. Fear of putting things out into the world. Doing creative stuff--it's something I really want to focus on in the coming year.
5. A New Baby: The loss of Hunter is one of the worst things that will ever happen to me. And we haven't made a final decision, but I don't think we have it in us to try again. I read somewhere that families who lose a baby, usually they try to have at least one child, but they often can't go beyond that. We have two perfect toddlers, and as much as I would love a third child, I just can't fathom doing what we would have to do to get there...
6. Everyone I Love Happy and Healthy: This is out of my control, but it's devastating what happened with Hunter. But all's well with my parents, my brother, my husband, my kids...grateful for that...
7. Celebrations: We did a lot of fun holiday stuff this past year. My mother-in-law is so creative and such a great help in this regard. My husband really doesn't like holidays, though, so that's a challenge. Plus we have almost no storage space, so tons of fun holiday decorations are out. We're figuring out our own ways to make the holidays special...it's important to me...
8. All Things Good With my Mother-in-Law: It's worked out well having her with us. She's so sweet, and I'm grateful for all her assistance. The kids absolutely adore her and she them...I think it's so good for them to have her in the house...
9. Time With My Best Friend: Dans came down over Thanksgiving and we had such a wonderful time. Hope to visit her in Seattle next year (hopefully to put on her baby shower!)
10. Pictures: This is wrapped up in the whole creativity and fear thing...I've taken lots of pictures this past year, which is good, but the way I want them to look (or the way they look in my head) and the way they actually look doesn't always mesh. Making that happen is a big goal of mine for 2014.
11. Lots of Time With Family: This worked out great. ABQ and Colorado are so close. And everyone has made a great effort.
12. Happy Little Blog: I'm really happy with my blog. It's small, but it does exactly what I want it to do, which is record what's special and important to me.

So 2013: Horrible. And great, depending on what you're talking about. A weird, strange, heartbreaking, magical year with lots and lots of change. I feel good about the things I accomplished. Also really glad it's almost over.

XOXO

"Don't Worry About Cool"

This is going to go over my desk as a sort of New Year's Resolution:

Sol Lewitt's advice to a young Eva Hesse:

"Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder wondering, doubthing, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, grasping...Stop it and just DO!...

Don't worry about cool, make your own uncoll. Make your own, your own world. If you fear, make it work for you--draw and paint your fear and anxiety...

YOu must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. Then you will be able to DO!...

Try to do some BAD work--the worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let everything go to hell--you are not responsible for the world--you are only responsible for your work--so DO IT. And don't think that your work has to conform to any preconceived form, idea or flavor. It can be anything you want it to be...

I know that you (or anyone) can only work so much and the rest of the time you are left with your thoughts. But when you work or before you work you have to empty your mind and concentrate on what you are doing. After you do something it is done and that's that. After a while you can see some are better than others but also you can see what direction you are going. I'm sure you know all that. You also must know that you don't have to justify your work--not even to yourself.

Via Desk of Tobias van Schneider.

Merry Xmas everyone!

21 Months

Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday!

This past month has been so fun with the kids, with a visit to the duck pond (pics of Zo, above), the what-seems-like-weekly trip to Target (Luke top pic), and the Xmas lights parade (Luke bottom pic), among other outings big and small.

Things that stick out in my memory include a visit to the fire station (during which both kids were kind of scared), since which both kids but especially Luke have been obsessed with fire trucks.

The cow fear is still alive and well.

An exchange:

Me: "Zoey, what does the cow say?"

Zo: "Bye-bye!" (With a wave goodbye.)

Two, three and four word sentences are starting to come out of both of the kids. So fun to have them be able to communicate.

And we put up a tree, fake, in the upstairs room we have where the kids normally aren't allowed, but I take them up most days to see the tree. They love it. Luke wants to smell it...he's really into smelling things, which is super cute.

Meal-time messes aren't gone, but they are deceasing (I'm not on my hands and knees wiping up the floor after every single meal anymore.)

The things they know continue to amaze me. Like they can name every animal pretty much in their books. I'm not saying my kids are smarter than anyone else's, just it's so amazing how they become their own little people, with so much knowledge in their heads, you know?

They are a delight. (Excepting the still very occasional temper tantrum.) They are growing up way too fast. Actually, they are growing up at just the right speed...my biggest thing as a Mama is to let it happen and not mourn the passing of days, the time we'll never have again. It's such a lovely time right now...

XOXO

Dexter Pulls Through

Lovely winter-like hike with Dexter and my other dog, Newton, this morning.

Dexter has a really aggressive form of cancer. We're treating it, but we're only talking months in terms of the time he has left. Had a crisis with him earlier in the week...thought I was going to lose him but he pulled through. There was even some frolicking on the (short) hike we took this morning...not his usual amount, but some. Dexter loves to hike, and I'm using him being able to get out and enjoy himself as his main quality-of-life measure...so I know when it's time to let him go.

Grateful for each day we get together. 

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. Thanks for spending soem time here this week.

XOXO

"Into the Castle"

Hi Everyone! Happy Thursday!

The kids are picking their own library books these days. (Which, in reality, involves them going to a shelf in the kids section and pulling books off at random.)

This past week, we've come across our first must-buy-this-book-because-there-will-be-mutiny-in-the-ranks-if-we-don't selection.

It's called Into the Castle, and it's about 3 kids, a dog and a horse going in search of a monster, which (spoiler alert) they find at the end. I swear we are reading this book 50 times a day right now. And the funny thing is, Sissy especially is scared by it...she won't read it unless she's snuggled up close so you can protect her from the monster. But every time when the story is over, she says, "Again!" Luke's the same way. I keep thinking, "Oh man, these kids are going to be scared to death someday of scary movies and roller coasters and the like, and they are going to go to/on them anyway."

Nothing like seeing little personalities shining through...love it.

XOXO