Maternity Photos! :)
Hi Everyone!
So I went back-and-forth about having maternity photos taken...on the one hand it seems kind of frivolous; on the other, I really wanted some nice pictures of me pregnant...this pregnancy means so much to me...also, I'm really good at denying myself things I want and am trying to be better about that...
And then the woman who does my hair showed me her engagement photos and I thought they were so beautiful...the photographer she (and I) used does such great things with natural light...is really affordable, as well...
So I had pictures done last Friday, and I'm soooooo glad I did...love how they came out! :)
Here are my favorites (and here's a link to the photographer's website, in case anyone reading lives in Western Colorado and is interested):
Pregnancy: Week 26
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
I'm 27 weeks pregnant today...the last week of the second trimester...yay! And I don't have a picture for you today because honestly, I haven't been able to make it out of my PJs. But I had some maternity photos taken last week that I'll share tomorrow to make up for it! :)
Here's how the past week has been:
- Gestational diabetes has been the big news (you can read about it here and here and here). I'm doing pretty OK with it, fingersticks and all. My blood glucose levels have all been within the normal range, except for last night after Thai food. Probably no more Thai food for me for a while, which is OK because the Thai food in this town sucks
- Felt a lot of stretching this week, and now I feel like there is baby everywhere, way up high in my abdomen (like right up under my breasts), my sides feel like they are growing out, way down low. My belly button's still in and no stretch marks yet...
- Sleep has been OK most nights, horrible a couple nights. I'm wondering if my blood glucose levels have something to do with it, because last night was a bad night and the only time since I started testing that my levels have been elevated. Or maybe it's just a coincidence, I don't know
- Getting harder to breath. A lot more heartburn. A little nausea still, but not too bad. My back's OK generally, sometimes it hurts though
- Lots of movement from the babies
- Did lots of little baby prep things this past week. Had our hospital tour/paperwork appointment so we're all ready to go with labor and delivery. Dealt with the whole diabetes thing. Had maternity photos taken. Started on the quilts my mom and I are making for the babies, and I started on the sweaters I want to have as part of the babies' going-home outfits. Got and framed a few pictures for the babies' room. Made a list of what we have left to do (I want to be totally done by the end of February). Just doing a little each week we'll get it all done
- I've been a little fearful this week, I think a combination of the fall I took last week and the whole gestational diabetes thing. While the diabetes is not in and of itself something to be overly concerned about, I guess it's just kind of reminded me that things can and do go wrong...even thought I've been feeling a lot of movement and have been growing, I've still been feeling a little bit afraid that something--who knows what--is wrong with one or both of the babies. I'm also worried about pre-term labor...every little twinge I wonder if it's something I should call my doctor about...I haven't called about anything yet, but I don't want to look back and say, I wish I'd taken that thing seriously. Ugh...I'm really hoping these bouts of fear go away once the babies are born...and I think they will...it's just so hard for me to trust that things going bad during a pregnancy is the exception, not the norm. Stupid infertility and IVF and chemical pregnancies and miscarriage...it makes me sad I'm not just a blissed out pregnant woman, oblivious to anything that could go wrong. I do have an OB appointment on Friday...will feel better once I get to see the babies and hear that they're doing OK...
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XO
Gestational Diabetes--Good Things That Have Come Out of This Situation
1. My parents have been so sweet and supportive...love that
2. And my husband, God, he is the best. Telling me over and over that it's OK that this happened, and we'll tackle it together, everything is going to be fine, even offering to change his diet too if that will help me. And doing the fingersticks for me when I'm too scared to do them myself--that's been huge. He's so great...
3. I was eating carefully before this, but this is making me be even MORE careful and MORE aware, so the twins will be getting even better nutrition now through the end of my pregnancy
4. And, miracle of miracles...I have actually done fingersticks on myself!!!! I really did not think this was possible, I am so afraid of needles...but I was laying awake for a couple hours early this morning just dreading my fasting blood glucose that needed to be drawn and then by 5 AM was nauseous and really needed to eat something...and my husband said I could wake him but that just felt silly so I went downstairs, got everythig ready, held my breath and did it. (Did it twice, actually, because the first time I didn't have the needle dialed all the way up and apparently the lower [less painful] settings are just not going to work on me.) A small victory, I know, but I am so proud of myself! I did my post-breakfast one, too (again 2 sticks to get enough blood...hopefully it'll get easier), so I know I can do it again.
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Thanks so much for spending some time here this week!
XOXO
Gestational Diabetes Treatment Consult (or, Needle-phobic Me Being Taught to Use Needles By Someone Who's Never Done it Before)
Hi Everyone!
So I had my treatment consult for gestational diabetes this morning. It went pretty well. Here are the highlights:
They're hoping to manage this with just diet.
They said I'm already eating pretty well...what I need to change is to not eat certain foods before noon (fruit, yogurt, milk, cereal, juice), and to keep careful track of/carefully control carbohydrate intake. This seems a lot more manageable than trying to keep track of everything I eat, so happy about that. Also I need to eat smaller amounts a lot more frequently (6 small meals/day).
And then came the dreaded glusoce monitoring. I'm going to have to do it 4 times/day. Ugh. This part was kind of funny since usually a diabetes nurse teaches people how to do this, but the nurse was out today so the dietician said she'd try to help me learn, even though she'd never done it before. Are you serious? I am NOT the person for this to happen to, as I am TERRIFIED of needles.
So she (the dietitian) opens up a new meter and we spread out the instructions, wash our hands, and we decided she was going to do a fingerstick on me before I tried on myself. But she kept trying and trying (me virtually in tears...I am such a baby) and couldn't get any blood until she dialed up the needle to the deepest setting and then there STILL wasn't enough blood, and it HURT.
So then we decided I'd try on a different finger and try to do it myself...the needle is hidden, all you have to do is press a button and it sticks your finger...but I could not make myself do it.
So then we talked about alternatives, like is there any way I could numb my fingers so I wasn't so afraid of the pain? And then we started looking at the instructions again and it said you could also test on your forearm or palm, which I felt like I could do...there's something about my fingertips that psychologically I just wasn't doing well with.
So we ran my arm under hot water (the instructions said heat could help) and I pressed the button for the needle...yay! But there was barely any blood. So we dialed it up to the highest setting, and again, barely any blood. So then to my palm on the highest setting (deepest needle penetration) and this time yay! Enough blood to test!
But geeze, this should not have been this difficult. The good news is the dietitian was really nice and patient with me...I mean really, the drama...I'm sure 6-year-olds are more cool, calm and collected about this than I was.
So I feel pretty good about being able to test on my palm or forearm. Fingertip...no way. But any of you out there reading this knowing that you are going to have to do this...if I can do it, anyone can.
So that's the scoop. All in all, not too bad. I'm glad I didn't get myself too worked up about this.
I have an appointment next week with the actual diabetes nurse, to make sure I'm doing everything right...
Hope you all are having a great Thursday!
XOXO
10 PM and grrrrr...this blood glucose monitoring thing is NOT working very well. I tried testing after lunch and had to stick myself 5 times to get enough blood and have the meter up and running at the same time. My husband finally came in and coordinated and squoze my palm hard enough to get the drop of blood I needed.
And tonight after dinner, no way was there blood coming out of my palm (3 sticks, all with blood but not enough) so my husband did a fingerstick on me and that hurts, I don't care what anyone says. The fingerstick worked, though. But I'm not going to have my husband with me all the time to do this...I've got to figure out how to do it on my own.
Plus, the instruction booklet I was given does not seem to match the blood glucose meter I have. So frustrating. I'm sure I'll figure it out, but this is not getting off to a good start...
Gestational Diabetes--And Details About the 1-Hour and 3-Hour Glucose Tolerance Tests
Gestational diabetes--yep, I have it.
Feeling pretty sad about it because everything's been going so well with this pregnancy. But I guess in the whole scheme of things this is a pretty easy complication to manage. However, I've already been eating pretty well (although I could do a little better) and exercising (although I could do a little more). Also, so ridiculously scared of fingersticks, but maybe I won't have to do them. I'm the girl who did 4 IVFs and an FET WITHOUT ONCE giving herself an injection...that's how scared of needles I am. No way that's going to hold up if I'm checking my blood sugar multiple times a day.
I have a consult with the diabetes specialist Thursday AM...will report back.
In the meantime, here's a rundown of the glucose tolerance tests for anyone who's interested:
1-Hour Glucose Tolerance Test
No big deal at all. Didn't eat breakfast and went in, drank a lemon/lime soda flavored drink with 50 grams glucose that wasn't that terrible, sat in the waiting room and got some work done on my laptop, then had a blood draw an hour later.
3-Hour Glucose Tolerance Test
A different story. Had to fast 12 hours, get a baseline blood draw, and then drink this fruit punch concoction with 100 grams glucose. The first couple sips weren't bad but after that it was NASTY. Really, really hard to finish.
Hour 1: In the waiting room, trying to work and then surfing the internet but as time wore on began to feel shaky and sweaty and like I was about to puke. And by the end of the first hour zero ability to concentrate on anything. Made it to the 1-hour blood draw and asked if there was somewhere I could lay down, I was feeling that bad.
Hour 2: They installed me in one of the lounge chairs in the blood donation center, covered me with a blanket, gave me a bag to puke into if I needed and were generally so kind to me (blood donation was slow that morning, there were half a dozen nurses who asked over and over if I needed anything.) I started crying I don't know why, was just feeling so terrible and wishing there was someone there with me. Closed my eyes and rested and tried to relax, started feeling better towards the end of the second hour.
Hour 3: Felt better but still not great. Stayed in the recliner chair and just rested...that helped.
After: At the end, had a snack and went home, ate lunch and felt fine for a few hours, then felt kind of sluggish/exhausted for the rest of the day.
My advice to anyone doing the 3-hour test is not to expect too much of yourself the day of...I thought I could work during the test but couldn't, and didn't really get much done the rest of the day, either.
As far as the diabetes, I keep telling myself all this is only temporary...this will go away once I can eat and work out the way I want and normally do (and don't have a zillion pregnancy hormones and 2 babies inside my body).
It could be worse. It could be worse. It could be worse. Still, I could use some words of encouragement...
XOXO
Pregnancy: Week 25
A little different picture than normal today...my husband took this shot on our walk along the river south of town. Probably the last such outing until the babies are born...see below...
Hi Everyone! Happy New Year!
I'm 26 weeks pregnant today, and all is well. Here's how the last week has been:
- This has been a surprisingly good week. I'm at the very end of my second trimester and am just now feeling like I'm getting that easy trimester everyone's been talking about. The horrible insomnia has gone away. The nausea is pretty much gone. The backache is pretty much gone. I am feeling really good physically for the first time in months and months and months. Hope it lasts at least a little while! :)
- Still walking (slowly on flat surfaces) several days a week but get out of breath and just want to lay on the couch after
- Had an OB appointment with 2 strong heartbeats. Also both babies are head down...yay!
- Had both the 1-hour glucose test (which I failed pretty spectacularly) and the 3-hour one. I'll save the details for a separate post but in short the 1-hour was no big deal at all and the 3-hour was awful. Saw some of my preliminary numbers from the 3-hour test and I'm right at the border for gestational diabetes...we'll see what my doctor says this week. I'll of course do what I have to do, but have I mentioned I'm absolutely terrified of needles? Even the tiny ones for blood glucose checks. Praying that is not in my future...
- Lost 4 lbs. this week...the first time I've lost weight during the pregnancy. I think it's due to 1) the constipation I had with the Zofran clearing up now that I'm off it, and/or 2) eating really carefully (a lot less carbs, no sweets AT ALL) since I failed my 1-hour test. Also just haven't been that hungry for some reason. I've done fine with the weight gain, though, so not too worried about the 4 lbs., as long as that trend doesn't continue
- Babies are moving all over the place...every day I can watch my belly move, which I love to do
- A couple weird things happened today...first, I was laying on my side on the couch this morning and my dog Newton jumped on my belly. And then, I really wanted to get out in nature and so my husband and dogs and I went a few miles south of town to this dirt path along the river...it's totally flat so I thought it would be safe but the ground was uneven in places and at one point I kind of twisted my ankle, went down on my knee, then side, then back...avoided my belly altogether but of course with these two things happening I'm a little freaked out. I feel fine, am feeling the babies move, there's no blood or anything like that so I'm fine, right? I did promise my husband nothing but pavement between now and the end of the pregnancy...
Hope you all have a lovely week. And that 2012 is the year all your dreams come true. :)
XOXO
2011: A Look Back
Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!
Hope you all have great New Year's Eve plans! We're laying low, which is fine. Unless we're traveling, I'm not a huge one for New Year's Eve, pregnant or not.
Like most everyone else, the end of the year is always kind of a reflective time for me. Thought I'd share some of what I've been thinking about:
January
We took a belated three-week honeymoon to Europe the end of 2010/beginning of 2011...spent New Year's in Prague (amazing...would do it again in a heartbeat) and the first few days of the year in Venice:
As soon as we got home, we got word that my husband's dad was very sick...we went straight to Las Vegas to be with him, and he died a week later. So hard, but I'm so glad we got that time together.
And then, straight to Denver for IVF #4.
February
The transfer for IVF #4 happened in February...AND we got a BPF! A good solid one, too...all my previous ones had been iffy and ended up being chemical pregnancies. We were so excited!
Didn't feel too bad for the first few weeks, and did some nice easy walks in the Colorado National Monument, which is super close to our house:
March
I was sick, sick, sick with the pregnancy.
We went to Vegas again to see and help my husband's mom.
Spring started to arrive:
April
We lost our baby, a girl, at 11 weeks 5 days...so close to being out of the first trimester and "safe." It was devastating, but my husband and I were so sweet and loving and supportive of each other. We lay on the couch in the evenings and drank wine and talked and cried. And then when we couldn't cry anymore we watched episodes of "Wipeout" which is the most ridiculous TV show ever...have never watched before or since but somehow the stupidness and silliness was what we needed.
Family and friends were wonderful, too.
And got back to being active, with one quick weekend snowboarding trip with my brother (we took his snowmobiles out into the backcountry...he'd run me up a hill and I'd snowboard down). So fun even though the snow sucked as it was so late in the season.
I also started hiking, including an incredible day trip to Moab with my mom and dad.
One of the places I went a lot in those first few weeks after the miscarriage was Holy Cross trail. When I first moved to the area, I'd stumbled on this cross. Didn't learn until years later that I knew the woman who'd brought it into being, and it was for her lost child:
May
Tried to get my body ready for an FET...the D&C wasn't complete...another trip to Denver and our clinic was needed.
Worked hard to recover physically and emotionally from the miscarriage.
Life went on as normal for the cows across the street from my parents:
June
An absolutely lovely hiking trip with my Dad in Utah. We take a trip together every year...it is just the best:
And more "finishing the miscarriage" shenanigans and another trip to our Denver clinic.
And the start of our summer vacation, driving to the West coast to camp and hang out with tons of friends...so fun and exactly what we needed.
July
Summer vacation continued...from the start: Highway 50 through Nevada on the way out, California, Oregon, Washington, Vancouver, Salt Lake City on the way home. It was lovely. Here's my husband and I at a BBQ with my BFF, Lake Washington, Seattle:
We also went to Santa Barbara for a long weekend to attend a gorgeous wedding, and again got to spend time with lots of freinds...so wonderful.
And...back to Denver for the FET...stayed with my brother which is always great...had my birthday 2 days before the transfer, and on the last day of the month...another BFP! Yay!
August
Did a short camping trip with my brother, but for the most part sick, sick, sick.
Learned we had twins!
My mother's organic garden was going crazy...
September
Camped again, this time with my whole family:
Still sick, but all was going well.
October
A fun trip to Denver to celebrate our anniversary.
Other than that, laying low with the pregnancy.
The first snow up in the mountains was so pretty (this is at my brother's house, where he and I and my brother who died grew up):
November
Went with my husband to Mobile, AL and gulf coast Mississippi to check out a potential job. We celebrated his birthday while we were there...so fun, although traveling wasn't all that easy...
And later in the month, Thanksgiving at our house with lots of people. My husband and his mom did all the cooking! :)
December
Holidays at my brother's up in the Colorado mountains. Here's our boxer Newton playing in the snow:
My pregnancy at 25 weeks is still going strong! :)
So, all in all, a heartbreaking year with the loss of my father-in-law and our unborn baby. A year consumed with doctor visits. Lots and lots of travel (which probably won't happen again for some time). Lots of time with freinds and family. And the most joyous year ever, in that we are so close to bringing home two real, live babies--something I wasn't sure would ever happen for me.
A roller coaster year.
Praying that everything--two healthy babies, graduation for my husband and hopefully a good job offer, a possible move to we're not sure where--will go our way in 2012, which should be a year filled with happiness, but will also probably contain a number of huge transitions.
Happy New Year to you all! Blogging has brought me such joy this year--and your presence has been central to that. Thank you for being here, and looking forward to sharing all that will be 2012.
XOXO
Kristen
Miscarriage & Due Date
So I just realized, the miscarriage of our daughter last spring and my due date with the twins are THE EXACT SAME DATE (April 11th).
I'm sure it's just a coincidence, but how weird is that?!? I've been trying to figure out what it means, but am coming up short.
Thoughts?
XOXO
Sweet Things My Husband Says...
So over Christmas my husband and I were talking with my mom about maybe using a doula for the birth of the twins. (My mom had a career as a neonatal nurse, though, working in the NICU, so she may be all I need.)
"And you know," I said to my husband, explaining why it might be good to have a doula there, "Labor could take days. You're probably going to want a break at some point."
His response: "I'm not leaving your side."
***
And then the next day, with me hugely uncomfortable with a backache and exhausted from not sleeping:
"I wish we were penguins," he said. "The male sits on the egg, you know. That way I could take care of incubating the babies for a while."
Love this guy...
XOXO
Image Credit: chrispearson72.
Pregnancy: Week 24
Hi Everyone! Happy Tuesday!
Ugh...so hard to get back to work after a few days off. But I had a lovely time up in the Colorado mountains over the holiday weekend...snow everywhere...very festive. Good to be home, though.
This week is 25 weeks for me. Here's how the last week has been:
- Nausea: I AM OFF ZOFRAN!!!! (After 12 weeks on.) Finally! The bad news is the nausea is still there...but it's not constant like it was earlier in my pregnancy, so I am trying to deal. Finding I need to be VERY careful not to get too hungry...
- Back: Hurts, mostly at night
- Sleep: Terrible (up all night a couple nights, sleeping a few hours here and there the others)
- Heartburn: Occasional (uncomfortable when it happens)
- Lung capacity: I get out of breath so easily! And at my brother's, which is about 9,000 feet elevation, I was totally winded just from getting dressed
- Movement: The babies are moving alll over the place. I saw my stomach move on its own for the first time this week. And my husband can feel the babies move now, no problem. He also put his ear to my belly and said he can hear them moving around, which is so cool
- Baby loot: We made out like bandits over Christmas. So many amazing gifts for the babies (we had asked people to buy gifts for them, not us)
- Classes: We've signed up for our hospital tour/orientation (apparently the new hospital in our town has pretty plush accommodations for the birthing of babies...psyched to check it out) and a 1-day birthing class run by the hospital, which my husband was really resistant about going to, which surprised me...he's usually so supportive and wanting to be hugely involved in everything baby-related. He did agree to go, though. Both these are happening in January
- Glucose test: Supposed to have results to my OB for our appointment Thursday, but keep putting this off. Kind of scared of the results. And fasting isn't a pleasant thought with the nausea I have going on. Need to just suck it up and go do it. Plus, it'll be nice to see the lab techs who drew my blood like twice a week or more through all of my IVFs...they are the nicest people...miss them...
- Overall: Feeling happy and blessed, although it's still hard to believe this is really happeneing. But physically suffering, and I know it's only going to get worse and I'm a little freaked out about that. Trying not to look too far into the future...I just think to myself: This week is going to be about the same as last week. I can handle that...
Hope everyone has a lovely week. :)
XO
Babies & Grief
I don't necessarily think I've had it worse than anyone else...we all have our crosses to bear...but a lot a lot a lot of crappy stuff has happened over the past 10 years--from the relatively minor like a divorce, and the worst breakup of my life, my dog dying, not being able to get pregnant; to the stuff I wasn't sure I'd be able to survive, like my brother (who was my absolute best friend in the world) being killed, leaving California and a life I loved (directly related), the whole IVF roller coaster, chemical pregnancies, a late miscarriage...I have been through a lot.
I always see these things as like rocks, and each time something new happens another rock, big or small, gets put on top of me and I have this very real feeling that someday there are going to be too many rocks and I am going to drown. This is something I worry about, more than I should. My parents, especially...they're realtively young and healthy and there's no reason to think they are going to die anytime soon, but they will probably die before me and that thought totally freaks me out. I don't see it as the natural order of life...I see it as something that may be the last straw...the last rock that makes it so I can no longer survive. To some extent I'm being melodramatic...I mean, what do you do when bad things happen, except pick up the pieces and keep going? Still, the fear is there.
And then there are these babies, which, God willing, we'll be bringing home in a few months time. Babies, in my mind, are the opposite of the rocks that have been piled on me over and over. Babies take some of the rocks away. This is kind of complicated to talk about...I wanted children desperately before all this bad stuff happpened, and I want kids for many reasons, but part of the reason I've wanted children so badly is that I feel so strongly that I need something happy and positive and life-affirming in my life to balance out the bad. I don't expect life to be wonderful all the time, but year after year and bad thing after bad thing happening...it's time for something good to happen to balance things out, right? I want my friends coming to a baby shower, not a funeral. I want to be the person other people call with their problems for a while, not the one in constant need of being talked off a ledge. And of course if I was unable to have children I would find some way to bring that happiness into my life...I have been trying for all these years to do just that...children are not the only answer...
But. I guess my point is, good and bad are supposed to happen in everyone's life. I have had so much bad all concentrated together, have been so bogged down by grief. And I know more is coming...it's unrealistic to think nothing else bad is ever going to happen for the rest of my life.
But for now, knock on wood, I get a respite. I get some happiness to hopefully take some of this pain I've been carrying around away. I get a chance to catch my breath before the Next Bad Thing.
And for that I am incredibly grateful.
Pregnancy: Week 23
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
Before we get started, a dear blog friend of mine, chickenpig, just found out today she's losing her baby to miscarriage. Please stop by her blog and give her some love if you have a minute to spare...
Well, I'm 24 weeks pregnant today. Hard to believe...in some ways it seems like I've been pregnant FOREVER, in others like it's going so fast. Trying my best to enjoy every minute of it (although with the physical challenges involved, that's easier said than done).
Here's how Week 23 has been:
- At my OB appt. last week the babies were calculated to weigh 1.4 and 1.5 pounds, and looked great. We got to see them on the ultrasound too...they're getting so big!
- For the first time I'm feeling the babies move from the outside, so my husband has been able to place a hand on my stomach and feel them. :) The low central movement I most often feel isn't noticeable from the outside, but when one of the babies moves high up that can be felt by others
- Still doing a lot to get the nursery ready...the crib is in and curtains are almost done, just need to hem them (I'll share pictues later this week). Also my husband had us get some diapers, baby wipes, etc...he's a big one for planning ahead and wants to be prepared. It feels really early to me, but he's usually right about these things and I'm sure I'll appreciate it later when it's not so easy to get around and a lot of the preparation is already done
- Tried going off Zofran last week and that didn't go so well. Trying again today...my husband thinks 24 weeks is going to be the magical time when all my nausea is going to go away...hoping he is right
- Still gainig weight and growing like crazy. About 2 lbs. a week right now...I'm up 32 lbs. from the day of transfer, which according to my doctor and my twins pregnancy book is right where I should be. One thing I'm REALLY looking forward to is being at my normal weight again...I know it won't happen overnight, but I have a plan and it's absolutely going to happen. I know, I know, I'm pregnant, not fat, but I am not feeling my most attractive
- My hair and skin and nails are all looking fabulous, however :)
- Backache comes and goes. This week it was at its worst the night after I saw the chiropractor, but then was better the rest of the week. Not sure what to make of that, other than I was sore from the adjustment and then the adjustment helped me feel better the rest of the time
- Insomnia has been just terrible for me. My sleep pattern is all over the map...several nights of not sleeping AT ALL, one night this week I actually slept through the night (yay!), generally I sleep for 2-3 hours and then am up at 2 or 3 AM, can't sleep again until 7 AM, then sleep until 10 or 11 AM...am adapting and trying to get things done (eg, work) in the middle of the night, otherwise, by the time I get out of bed half the day is gone and there's just not enough time to do the things I want to do. Feeling pretty worn down by the lack of sleep...wish there was some way to make it better, but it seems to be the way it is for the time being, so trying my best to adapt...
Hope everyone has a lovely week! So excited for the upcoming holidays, although I have A LOT to do before I'm ready. Christmas always seems to kind of sneak up on me...
XOXO
The Nursery, Episode #2: Receiving Blankets
Hi Everyone! Happy Friday!
Blankets for our girl...
So over the past week or so, my mom and I made a bunch of flannel receiving blankets. This is my kind of sewing...they are essentially three-foot-by-three-foot squares with the edges hemmed...super easy. We'll use these to swaddle the babies when they are first born, and then as regular blankets (for example, to lay on the floor for them to play on, to keep them warm in the stroller) after. My mom made blankets like these for her three kids...so cool to get to do it together for mine. :)
...and for our boy.
Love the fun flannel prints! And that I'm getting to make some things for our babies...
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Thanks so much for spending some time here this week.
XO
Pregnancy: Week 22
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
I'm 23 weeks pregnant today! I always thought 24 weeks was viability (when if the baby is born it has the possibility of living), but what I was reading yesterday indicated that 23 weeks is the cutoff. I also read that the babies (and my question is: therefore me?!?) are going to DOUBLE in size in the next month...eek! And also I've been looking at old posts from Girl's Gone Child, who recently had twins, and she's saying that at 23 weeks with twins she was the same size as full-term with one baby. All very interesting...
Anyway, here's how the last week has been:
- Lots of movement from the babies, which is cool. My husband still hasn't felt anything for sure...isn't it about time for that to happen?
- Lots of progress made in terms of getting ready for the babies. My husband is on a MISSION to get the big parts of the nursery put together...I think it's because he's afraid that the day may come sooner rather than later when I'm not very mobile anymore. So in this past week we have emptied the nursery of my husband's things (we're converting what was once his office), picked up/ordered all furniture and the rug, picked out and started on curtains, finished receiving blankets (I'll post pics sometime this week!), pretty much finished a registry, picked out wall art (that was a negotiation for sure, but I think we're both really happy with where we ended up), decided to start with disposable diapers and maybe (probably?) switch to cloth when we move, finalized the babies names (although I want to sit with them a little while before sharing). Whew! We have been busy! So fun, though, and so fun to do all this together...my husband is very involved
- Nausea's still an issue, but pretty well controlled with Zofran. I'm going to finish my current Zofran prescription (5 pills left) and then try again without it. My husband says 1 baby = nausea for 12 weeks (first trimester), so 2 babies = nausea for 24 weeks...he thinks I'll be done after this week...I sure hope he's right
- Heartburn is starting to become a little bit of a problem. It's not terrible, but not fun either. I was hoping to avoid that particular pregnancy symptom...
- Backache (mid-back) was a real problem at the beginning of the week, not so much anymore. It's there, but pretty minor (vs so bad I want to cry, which is where it was when the week started)
- And insomnia, oh, Lord, is it bad. There's been a couple nights this past week I've been up literally all night long. I'm pretty comfortable/OK during the day, but at night everything I'm feeling seems to be magnified (nausea, backache, heartburn, etc), plus I'm feeling a lot of stretching in my belly, which doesn't hurt, but isn't particularly comfortable either. Plus we've been doing so much baby stuff...my mind has been racing. Trying to just be OK with the sleeplessness instead of fighting it/getting mad about it. Because I work from home, unless I have calls I need to be on, I can sleep during the day when I need to so I'm just kind of letting my sleep/wake schedule go where it wants to go. I've had trouble with insomnia for years anyway...was talking with my BFF last night and she said being up at night to nurse the babies isn't going to faze me...I'm up all hours of the night as it is...hope that she is right :)
- Overall feeling very happy and peaceful. I have a little fear now that we are making actual physical changes (eg nursery furniture) that I am tempting fate and something will go wrong. But everything's gone so well so far (knock on wood)...just trying hard to be hopeful that things will continue to go along without a hitch, you know?
Hope everyone has a lovely week.
XOXO
The Nursery, Episode #1: Furniture
Hi Everyone!
So we're getting started on the nursery. (I know it's early, but I'm feeling pretty good now and don't know how I'll be later in my pregnancy. Plus we're going to be making a number of things, which takes time. Plus I think it'll be really fun to have a room to go into and sit and dream about the babies, you know?)
Anyway, thought it would be fun to share!
A little about the room: It's really small, has beautiful hardwood floors, good light. My husband's been using it as an office and it's painted dark gray, which I don't love for a nursery, but we're going to try and make it work since we will probably be moving not long after the babies are born (even if we stay in the same town my husband would like to move to a new house.)
I was originally thinking vintage/used furniture, but we're not finding much and the things we're finding are really expensive. So we're going for new. Dark wood, which I'll lighten up with bright and cheery quilts, curtains, cushions, etc. Here's what we've picked out:
Rug--The softest thing ever...cannot wait to have it in the room and go in and lie down on it:
Rocking Chair--This is a vintage piece, a gift from my mother-in-law (ours looks just like the one in this picture):
Dresser--The one we picked looks a lot like this. I'm going to give it some personality with some funky glass pulls I have from Anthropologie. They were in the Santa Barbara house I shared with my brother, and I love that I'm going to get to repurpose them in the babies' room:
Crib--We're just going to get just one to start, because of the size of the room. Something along these lines:
Pretty simple, but we like simple and figure it's a good canvas for all the fun and happy things we're going to make. Wall art is also going to be key here to make sure the room is bright and cheeery and not too grown up looking.
What do you all think?
XO
Rug: American Furniture Warehouse.
Rocker: Vintage. Image Credit: pappymerlot via ebay.
Dresser: American Furniture Warehouse.
Crib: Target.
Pregnancy: Week 21
Hi Everyone! Happy Monday!
I'm 22 weeks pregnant today! Here's how the past week has been:
- Nausea: Controlled for the most part with 1 Zofran/day (down from 2/day); trying 1/2 per day this week
- Backache: Much better since going to the chiropractor
- Insomnia: It's been a horrible week for this, capped off by being awake until 5 AM this morning, and then having to get up for an 8 AM conference call. Every night has been several hours at least of not being able to sleep. It's some combination of discomfort (mild nausea, mild backache, joints aching) and reading baby books late at night and starting to freak out, eg: "Will I ever sleep again once the babies are born?" "How in the world am I going to breastfeed two babies with my breasts as sensitive as they are?" "What if one or both of the babies has colic?" Etc. In short, all things we'll figure out as we go along. All things there's no sense in worrying about now
- Mood: Generally happy (tired, but happy)
- Exercise: Trying to walk every day, but it's really been more like every other day. My prenatal yoga class ended a couple weeks ago...going to see if there's a gentle general class I can join. Thought about getting a yoga DVD, but doing yoga in my living room by myself just doesn't sound like much fun
- Weight gain: Still right on track. I feel enormous, and there's still such a long way to go...
- Baby prep: We've been doing a lot now that we know the sexes. Getting close to having names (at this point, just trying to figure out our girl's middle name). Bought flannel for the receiving blankets my mom and I are going to make. Looked at material for quilts and curtains for the nursery. Looked at prints (wall art) for the nursery, and while we still need to decide, we found some we like. Working on making a decision re: cloth vs disposable diapers (anyone have any thoughts on the matter?). Got some baby shower details figured out. And my mom and mother-in-law have been buying the cutest clothes imaginable...all second-hand...it's amazing what you can get. Etc. All this is so much fun, I can't even tell you...
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XOXO
Baby Pictures, My Facebook Pregnancy Announcement, a Blog Award (Yay!), and a Funny Story
Lots I've wanted to talk about this week and haven't gotten around to...
Baby Pictures!
I haven't posted pictures yet from my ultrasound last week...wanted to share...
Here's our girl...face down and you can see part of her spine.
And here's our boy, on his back looking up.
My Facebook Pregnancy Announcement
I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook, and have actually been really bad about posting anything there for months, maybe years. I've been so preoccupied with my fertility struggles, and just didn't feel like that was the best arena for all that to play out, you know?
But I did post news of my pregnancy this week. And it was fun...I have friends and acquaintances all over the place...people I don't necessarily talk to on a regular basis...it was so cool to get so many messages of congratulations and well wishes. I'm glad I posted something. I'm also glad I waited until I was this far along. (Last pregnancy, my husband had posted that we were expecting the day before we found out the baby had died. Ugh...)
A Blog Award
Sweet Chantelle over at Creating a Rainbow gave me a blog award! Thanks, Chantelle...means a lot. :) If you don't know about her blog, you should go check it out...she and I actually both had miscarriages at almost the same time last spring, same point in our pregnancy, same diagnosis (Turner syndrome). She's been trying soooooo hard to get pregnant again...I'm sure a lot of you can relate. She's about to enter another two week wait....I hope sooooooo much that this is her month!
The rules of the award (which means "dear" or "dearest" in German) are:
- Paste the award on you blog
- Thank the giver and link back
- Give the award to 5 other bloggers (<200 followers)
- Hope they spread the love
And so I send this award to:
- Bodega Bliss--My super stylish California blogger friend...things have kind of sucked in her world lately...stop by and show her some love...
- Calmly Chaotic--Mother of newborn twins who makes it all look oh-so-easy (she's also got such fabulous style...love it...)
- Eggs in a Row--TTC and just got a BFN...so sorry, Eggs! Please stop by and show her some love. Her blog is funny, funny, funny...totally cracks me up...
- Poor Lucky Me--About to have a baby after losing her firstborn. This girl is soooooo honest, and boy, can she ever write!
- Tortoise Baby--12 weeks pregnant...she used my same clinic and doctor. And she lives in Mississippi which I think is so cool (and which I soon may be calling home...or not...who knows...everything is so up in the air...)
A Funny Story
I had my annual eye exam today, making me think of the following story:
People who know me IRL know how much I hate, hate, hate WalMart. I hate how it kills small-town businesses, how homogenous everything is, how lost and overwhelmed I feel by the sheer size of the place when I step inside. Weirdly, I LOVE Target, which is essentially the same thing, but there doesn't have to be any rhyme or reason to what I love and hate, right?
I wear contacts, and a few years ago, I went to order new ones through 1.800.CONTACTS.
"You're prescription's expired," they said. "But we can set you up with an appointment in your town."
"Great," I said.
And so where do they send me? WalMart. I was so mad. I almost cancelled the appointment, but the convenience of having it already scheduled won out. And so I went. And you know what? It was awesome. The doctor was great, the eye clinic was small and personal, the service was good...I'm so glad I got sent there.
Have to laugh at myself.
And be glad I can change my mind on things.
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Thanks so much for spending some time here this week! :)
XOXO
Chiropractic Care While Pregnant: Yes or No?
Hi Everyone!
My back has been bothering me, so I made an appointment with a chiropractor and went today. I went to someone who specializes in prenatal care, and thought some of you might be interested in how it went.
The Good:
- My back is sore since the visit (she [the chiropractor] said it would be), but the pain I've been living with is essentially gone
- She has a table where the belly drops out, so I got to lay on my stomach for the first time in a while...so nice :)
- She did a lot to monitor my babies/my general health, including taking my blood pressure, listening to the babies' heartbeats, measuring my belly, etc. Always nice to get a peek into what's going on inside me. The more monitoring, the better, I say, as I still have a little bit of fear that something could be going wrong in there. (By the way, she said one baby had a heart rate in the 120s and the other in the 140s, which she said was fine and Dr. Google agrees)
- She also told me regular visits would help make labor a lot easier, which of course is a desirable thing
The Bad:
- There was a lot of judgement about having ultrasounds (bad for the baby, I was told...and why had I had so many?), and taking Zofran and the occasional Tylenol. And the way it was presented was not the best. It's one thing to say, "Going forward, consider not doing this;" another to say, "What you've already done is bad."
- Also a lot of judgement about using IVF to get pregnant. I really believe in alternative medicine, but I'm sick of having practitioners tell me that IVF was a waste of time and money and if I'd just been more invested in natural/alternative medicine, I would have gotten pregnant no problem. That may be true, but there were so many things demonstrably wrong with me (5 separate issues diagnosed)...I don't know...I have a hard time believing IVF was a bad choice. And over the years I tried to get pregnant without medical intervention, I went to a chiropractor, acupuncturist, did a lot with nutrition, stress relief, massage, etc. I could have done more, I'm sure, but it's not like I didn't try that route. I still get defensive when people act like I just didn't try hard enough and going to an RE was kind of a cop-out
Bottom Line:
I can pretty much brush off all the judgmental stuff that was thrown at me today (it wasn't upsetting or scary, really, I was more just annoyed). And if it continues to help my back feel better, I'm going to keep going every two weeks as recommended. It feels safe to me (especially with this doctor having done a lot of work with pregnant women), and if it helps to make my pregnancy more comfortable, why not, right?
Anyone else been to the chiropractor while pregnant or trying to conceive? What did you think?
XO
Pregnancy: Week 20 (And the Sexes Are No Longer a Secret)
Hi Everyone! Twenty-one weeks today. :)
Here's how the last week has been:
- We found out the genders of the babies this past week...I didn't post it here because we were trying to keep it a secret from my dad and brother...but that lasted less than 24 hours. So cat's out of the bag...we are having a boy and a girl, which I am so incredibly thrilled with! And we're getting close to having names picked out for both of the twins (I'll tell everyone once we have it finalized). That's (naming) actually been a lot easier than I thought
- Feeling A LOT of movement, which is so cool. It's helping more than anything to make all this real
- Nausea's been under control but I've been taking Zofran like clockwork. Going to go off it today and see what happens. Fingers crossed...
- Back pain is an ongoing issue. Not all the time, but especially when I sit for any length of time. Going to a chiropractor tomorrow, hope that helps
- I'm having some occasional weird abdominal cramping that's making me nervous. My doctor said I'd know if I was having contractions, and the cramping doesn't seem like contractions. Still, I don't like it
- Gums still bleed every time I brush my teeth. I'm also congested and when I blow my nose it's all bloody...lovely
- My feet are swelling to the point where I can't wear a lot of my shoes (besides the fact it's getting hard to reach my feet to tie or buckle anything). And I think heels of any kind are just about a thing of the past
- My belly is really growing. Still getting that stretchy feeling from the inside. Still no stretch marks. (Yay!) I'm actually a little scared about how big I am and that I'm only halfway through my pregnancy...I already feel so huge...just have to keep telling myself countless women have done this before me and I'm going to be fine...
- Emotions are all over the place this week. On the plus side, saw a lot of family over Thanksgiving and everyone was so excited about the babies, which was so great and makes me feel really excited and happy. Also picked out nursery furniture (although we haven't bought it yet). Also feeling the babies move so much and finding out the sexes and naming them...all so cool and making these babies seem like our children, which on the one hand is really positive, but on the other I'm scared to do because what if we lose them? We're still a few weeks away from viability...I've still got that fear of miscarriage (or I guess it's stillbirth at this point) going on. Also, I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed at times by the fact that we are going to have two babies to take care of AND will probably be moving a few months after they're born (although that's still totally up in the air). I will have lots and lots of help, but still, it just feels like so much...too much all at once. But we do what we have to do, right? Plus my husband has been so great, telling me all I need to think about is the babies, that's he's got everything else under control. Trying really hard not to think about/worry about the future and just focus on today...
Hope everyone has a lovely week!
XOXO
Twenty Week Scan...and the Sexes Revealed!
Hi Everyone!
So we had our twenty-week scan today...this is our first real look at the babies' anatomy and everything looks great in there. Yay...so relieved.
AND, we learned the sexes...but...I hadn't really thought this through but my dad and brother DO NOT want to know, and they both read my blog from time to time...so I can't post the news here. But if you're curious, leave a comment or email me and I'll be thrilled to let you know. :)
It was so exciting to find out. I even cried a little.
Next OB appointment in 4 weeks.
Oh, and kind of weird...there was a couple getting an ultrasound right before us and they were going to terminate the pregnancy (I overheard them talking about scheduling surgery right after, and then when my OB went to do my scan the TV was off and she said, "Oh, the couple before you is terminating, so we didn't want them to see the baby.") I saw the baby though on the screen when they first brought me in...and I totally respect that couple's right to terminate, but it's just kind of breaking my heart. It's so unfair. So many women would give anything to be pregnant with that child. I wish I hadn't seen that perfect little baby...
Trying to let it go. Just amped up on pregnancy hormones and so sensitive to everything...
XOXO